User:Piranhapete/Sandboxes/Auntie Dialogue (AC)

Auntie Islander Dialogue
The following is a collection of dialogue spoken by the auntie islander personality in Animal Crossing. Box breaks and expressions/reactions are not recorded. This list is mostly complete.

Term glossary:

 * Introduction - a player's first conversation with the islander in full; variants include different times of day
 * Salutation - the first part of a player's first conversation with the islander that day, starting at 12 a.m.; leads to segue; variants include different times of day
 * Greeting - the first part of a player's conversation with an islander in regular circumstances; leads to segue; variants include different times of day
 * Re-introduction - a type of salutation that occurs after the player has gone 2+ weeks without speaking to the islander; leads to segue; variants include different times of day
 * Segue - the part of the conversation following the salutation or greeting leading into the player's choice of asking to chat or canceling the conversation
 * Topic - any of a great number of responses to the player's request to chat; includes many types of interactions
 * Never mind - the islander's response to the player canceling the conversation
 * Bee sting - dialogue for the first interaction with the islander after the player has been stung by bees
 * Net - dialogue after the player has hit the islander with a butterfly net three times
 * Pushed - dialogue after the player has continuously pushed the islander
 * Sad - dialogue if the islander is in a sad mood; the islander's voice tone becomes depressed, and the conversation will not continue into a segue or allow further interaction by the player
 * Angry - dialogue if the islander is in an angry mood; the islander's voice tone becomes agitated, and the conversation will not continue into a segue or allow further interaction by the player
 * Asleep message - Text that appears at the islander's door when the islander is asleep
 * (Morning) - 5 a.m. - 12 p.m.
 * (Afternoon) - 12 p.m. - 5 p.m.
 * (Evening) - 5 p.m. - 12 a.m.
 * (Night) - 12 a.m. - 5 a.m.

Introductions and Greetings
Introduction (morning): Hey, mornin’… Hang on! I’ve never seen your mug before, have I? So what’s your name? …[player], huh? I gotta say, that’s a pretty wacked-out name. Anyway, I’m [name]. I’ve been livin’ on this island a LONG time. It’s nice to meet you, [player].

Introduction (afternoon): Oh, hey, this is your first time to this island, right? Never been here before, right, [catchphrase]? Yeah, I’m [name]. I live alone on this island. And before you ask, yeah, I’m plenty happy here. So you’re…[player]… I guess that’s a pretty decent sort of name. Awful nice to meet you, [player]!

Introduction (evening): You…don’t live on this island, do you, [catchphrase]? Nah, didn’t THINK so! I guess that’s sorta obvious. …[player], you say? HAAAH har har har! Talk about a goofy name! Anyway, I’m [name]. Nice meetin’ you, [catchphrase].

Introduction (night): Yeah, who is it? …[player]? I don’t know you! Do I, [catchphrase]? Oh, OK, I gotcha. I never met you before, huh? I’m not that pumped about bein’ startled at night… Next time, try to use your melon a little bit more, [player]. You know what I’m sayin’?

Salutation (morning): Mornin, [player]. Did you forget to give your face a good scrubbin’ when you got up today? And you look all tired! Pull yourself together!

Greeting (morning) 1: You can’t ask for a nicer mornin’ than today, [player]!

Greeting (morning) 2: You already snack on your breakfast or what, [player]?

Greeting (morning) 3: Another nice day today, isn’t it, [catchphrase]?!

Salutation (afternoon): Yo! How you doin’, [catchphrase]? Doin’ good? Hey, listen, all right? You be sure to eat enough veggies, OK, [player]?

Greeting (afternoon) 1: Afternoon, [player]!

Greeting (afternoon) 2: Hey! How ya doin’, [catchphrase]?

Greeting (afternoon) 3: You already eat lunch, [player]?

Salutation (evening): A very fine evening to you… Fooled ya! I’d never say that! That ain’t my style! So what’s up, [player]? As you can see, I’m feelin’ like a million Bells!

Greeting (evening) 1: Sorta dark out here, ain’t it, [catchphrase]?

Greeting (evening) 2: How’re ya feelin’, [player]?

Greeting (evening) 3: You power down your dinner yet or what, [player]?

Salutation (night): You! What the heck have you been doing up ‘til now, [catchphrase]? Answer me! Don’t you think it’s sorta late to come hang out? Don’t you think you might wanna use your brain more? Absolutely unbelievable, [catchphrase]!

Greeting (night) 1: Are you outta your head? What’re you doin’ out so late, [catchphrase]?

Greeting (night) 2: Who stays up this late, [catchphrase]!?

Greeting (night) 3: What’s wrong with you? Only loons stay up this late, ya know, [catchphrase]!

Re-introduction (morning): I haven’t seen you in a long time, [player]! Looks like you got respectable since then, [catchphrase].

Re-introduction (afternoon): It’s been [number] weeks, I’m pretty sure… You know, since I last saw you… I hope you’ve at least TRIED to be a good person during those weeks. Don’t disappoint me.

Re-introduction (evening): Leavin’ me alone for [number] stinkin’ weeks … You got some nerve, you know that? …No, I’m not lonely! [player], you are such an idiot! Use your head before you use your mouth!

Re-introduction (night): Where on earth have you been for the past [number] weeks? I know that look. Have you been eatin’ junk food? Absolutely hopeless…

Salutation (Festival) 1: Tell me now, did you eat a healthy breakfast this morning, [player]?

Salutation (Festival) 2: Well, look who’s here! If it isn’t [player]?

Salutation (Festival) 3: [player]? What are you doing here today? There’s a festival in [town] today.

Salutation (April Fools’ Day) 1: Hey, [player]! I know it's April Fools' Day, but don't try anything on me! I detest hijinks and tomfoolery!

Salutation (April Fools’ Day) 2: I know what this holiday's all about, and I think it's awful! Try and trick me, and I'll make you regret it!

Salutation (April Fools’ Day) 3: You know, [player], there are acceptable tricks and unacceptable ones... Do you know the difference?

Salutation (Spring Cleaning Day) 1: Happy Spring Cleanin’ Day to ya, [catchphrase]! I hope you cleaned your room before comin’ all the way out here, [player]!

Salutation (Spring Cleaning Day) 2: Hey, [player], in honor of Spring Cleanin’ Day, I was thinkin’ you could clean my place for me. Aw, chill out! I’m only kiddin’, [catchphrase]!

Salutation (Spring Cleaning Day) 3: You look like the type of person who has lots of useless junk piled up in your house. Admit it! Well, there’s no time like Spring Cleanin’ Day to get rid of it, [catchphrase]!

Segue 1: So, did you come here for somethin’, [catchphrase]?

Segue 2: So, what do you want, [catchphrase]?

Segue 3: So, what do you want from me, [catchphrase]?

Never mind 1: All right. Fine. See ya, [catchphrase].

Never mind 2: Talk about rude, [catchphrase]!

Never mind 3: You make no sense sometimes, [catchphrase].

Chat Topics and Interactions
Topic (name): Yo, do you like that name, “[player],” [catchphrase]?
 *  “You know it!”: Good, [catchphrase]. Y’know, if I were to compare your name to a food, it’d be like [food].
 *  “No!”: Oh, hey, come on, now! What’s that all about, [player]? I mean, really, what’s not to like about it, huh, [catchphrase]? That sounds like the name of someone who’s into [sport]! You should say it loud and proud!

Topic (town): Hey, yo, [player]! What’s that place you live, [town name], like?
 *  “Amazing!”: Well, good. Yeah, it’s real important to be proud of where you live! Town pride, baby! Be good to your village, [player]. And then it’ll be good to you.
 *  “I have no idea.”: Quit talkin’ like that! That was a simple question, [player]! Shape up! I HATE that kind of wishy-washy answer, [catchphrase]! It makes me so mad I could spit!
 *  “It’s OK, I guess”: Hey! Hold it right there, trash-talker! Don’t go doggin’ the place you call home, [player]! You’re sad, you know that? If you think your home is so bad, then why don’t you try to make it better? {ANGRY MOOD}

Topic (tanning): Everyone who comes here without a sun parasol goes home real tanned, [catchphrase]. Yuh-huh! You know somethin’, though? I’ve lived here all my life, and my skin color hasn’t changed a bit! Weak!

Topic (clothes, to male): [player], you’re so quick to catch on to the latest trends. You’re in the flow, [catchphrase]! Yeah, I gotta admit, you’re lookin’ pretty spiffy in your new getup. But I gotta wonder… Is that actually cool or are you just completely frontin’? I can’t tell, [catchphrase].

Topic (clothes, to female): [player], you’re so quick to catch on to the latest trends. You’re in the flow, [catchphrase]! Yeah, I gotta admit, you’re lookin’ pretty spiffy in your new getup. You look just like me when I was your age, [catchphrase]. Except not nearly as sculpted.

Topic (food, to male): [player]… Hey yo, do you like [food], [catchphrase]?
 *  “I like it!”: Well, that’s good to hear, [player]. You can’t be picky if you wanna grow up healthy, [catchphrase]!
 *  “Not really.”/“I hate it!”: That’s pretty sad… And you call yourself a man, [catchphrase]? What’s wrong with you!? Be a real man and eat everything! In huge quantities! And burp!

Topic (food, to female): [player]… Hey yo, do you like [food], [catchphrase]?
 *  “I like it!”: Well, that’s good to hear, [player]. You can’t be picky if you wanna grow up healthy, [catchphrase]!
 *  “Not really.”: What?! What’s your prob? You think you’re some kinda princess or somethin’? Guys like girls with healthy appetites, you know, [catchphrase]!
 *  “I hate it!”: What? Hey! Who do you think you are, some kind of princess?! You need to be strong! [Food] taste good once you get used to ‘em, [catchphrase]!

Topic (cooking, to male): Hey, you mind if I ask you somethin’ real quick…? Do you cook your own meals, [catchphrase]?
 *  “Yes!”: Oh, good! How refreshin’! I like men who can cook, [player]! They’re pretty rare, though… Can you make, say, [food]?
 *  “Let me do it!”: Really? You can make [food]?! You’re ready to whip it up right now? Wow! I didn’t expect that outta the likes of you. That’s awesome!
 *  “I can't...”: Oh. Too bad for you. I don’t know what you CAN make, but I know this… If you can make [food], you can call yourself a grown man, [catchphrase].
 *  “No way!”: Well, shame on you, [player]! For shame! Be a man and start learnin’, will ya?

Topic (cooking, to female): Hey, you mind if I ask you somethin’ real quick…? Do you cook, [catchphrase]?
 *  “Sure!”: Oh, excellent… I don’t know what I would’ve said if you had told me you didn’t. Independent girls should cook their own meals, [catchphrase]. You gotta be skilled at everythin’! So hey, can you make [food]?
 *  “Leave it to me!”: Really? You can make [food]?! You’re ready to whip it up right now? Wow! I didn’t expect that outta the likes of you. That’s awesome!
 *  “I can't...”: Oh, really? Too bad. Well, I don’t know what you CAN make, but… You should try making [food] some time (sic). It’s okay to screw up! That’s part of the fun, [catchphrase].
 *  “No way!”: Oh, SHAME on you… It doesn’t matter if you’re a girl or boy, you oughta know how to cook a meal! Don’t you want to be able to cook for the people you love and impress their taste buds?!

Topic (arapaimas): Hey, [player], have you ever caught one of those arapaimas?
 *  “I have.”: Really?! Are you serious, [player]?! That’s completely amazin’! It’s a huge fish, you know, [catchphrase]! You used to be a pro [sport] expert, didn’t you?
 *  “You know it!”: Yeah, that’s what I thought, [catchphrase]! You’re built like a [sport] player. What was your defense? …No, wait, I mean, what was your offense? …To tell you the truth, I don’t know much about [sport]. Not one of my strong suits. Oh well. Who cares? I’m sure you were a sick player, [catchphrase].
 *  “No! No! No!”: Oh, really, [catchphrase]? OK, whatever.
 *  “Not yet…”: Well, maybe someday you will, [catchphrase]. A person’s gotta have dreams, right? You wouldn’t believe how big they are until you see one, [player]!

Topic (sports): [player], you’re lookin’ pretty muscular. Do you play sports or somethin’, [catchphrase]?
 *  “Of course!”: I knew it! I got an eye for athletes. OK, let me guess which sport you like! Let’s see, [catchphrase]. Hmm…! It’s [sport]!
 *  “That’s right!”: See, I knew it! The way your body’s build… It positively SCREAMS, “I’m a [sport] maniac!”
 *  “You’re wrong!”: Oh, really? Drat. Hmmmmmmph. Well, it doesn’t matter, [catchphrase].
 *  “Not really.”: WHAAAT?! No way! Shame on you! Just look at you! You have the body of a born athlete! You should definitely give [sport] a try! C’mon! I bet you’d be insanely popular!

Topic (past sports): This may completely blow your mind, but… I used to be a professional [sport] athlete, [catchphrase]! Hard to believe, isn’t it? My skills were a heck of a lot better than most boys, [catchphrase]! I used to school those punks!

Topic (Kapp’n): Hey yo, you heard Kapp’n’s song yet? I’m pretty sure the girl he sings about in that song is based on me. Maybe I’m just crazy, though. What do you think, [catchphrase]? Am I completely nuts?
 *  “Yes!”: Yeah…? I guess I’m just crazy… Still, it sounds reeeeal familiar, [catchphrase].
 *  “Maybe not…”: Oh, [player], I appreciate you sayin’ that, seriously. …But wait, that means that Kapp’n has been checkin’ me out… That gives me the willies…

Topic (girl power, to female): It’s good to see a girl like you can make it here on your own. Shows those arrogant males a thing or two! You got some serious guts, [player]. Right on! Way to score one for us girls!

Topic (decor): Hey, yo, [player]! Bring me some functional furniture for my pad, will ya? I’m livin’ in poverty here! I’ll rearrange the room with the stuff you bring me. Don’t worry about that part. Just get the stuff here. I’ll be countin’ on ya, [player]. Hey, and don’t bring anything broke, or I’ll teach you a lesson!

Topic (favorite furniture): You haven’t heard about a [furniture] kickin’ around your town anywhere, have you, [catchphrase]? If I could just get my hands on one of those things, it’d definitely make my place much more livable…

Topic (any furniture request): [player], you wanna store your [furniture] at my place? It’d be one of those win-win situations! It’d look great in my room, [catchphrase]!
 *  “Sure!”: Hey, thanks, [player]. I think my room’ll be a whole lot comfier with this in there, [catchphrase]. {GIVES BELLS} Treat yourself to somethin’ nice with this cash, huh? There’s [number] Bells.
 *  “No way!”: All right, fine! That’s fine! If it’s so precious to you, keep it in your house, [catchphrase]! Who cares? {ANGRY MOOD}

Topic (favorite furniture request): Hey! You! How about you gimme your [furniture]? I think it’d make my room a whole lot more comfy! You can live without it, right, [catchphrase]?
 *  “Sure!”: {TAKES FURNITURE} Hey, thanks, [player]. You’re real generous! I gotta repay you. Why don’t you get yourself somethin’ nice to eat? {GIVES BELLS} I’ll give you [number] Bells.
 *  “No way!”: What?! You’re such a huge miser, [catchphrase]! Is everyone in [town name] a stingy cheapskate like you?

Topic (given favorite furniture, player): Hey, the [furniture] you gave me is so great! At first I wasn’t all that excited about the whole thing, but now I can’t live without it, [catchphrase]!

Topic (given favorite furniture, other player): Do you know that human, [player], [catchphrase]? You might’ve noticed my new [furniture]… Yeah, well, [player]’s the one who gave it to me. It’s changed my life, [catchphrase]. No kidding. Tell that to [player] for me, will ya?

Topic (furniture return, player): Hey, listen, about the [furniture] you gave me the other day… It’s not workin’ out for me. You might as well take it back, [catchphrase]. {GIVES FURNITURE} I’m real sorry and everythin’, [catchphrase]. I know you meant well.

Topic (furniture return, other player): Here’s a little secret… I got this [furniture] from [other player]. But I hate it. You take it, [catchphrase]. You can’t tell [player] about this, though, OK?

Topic (furniture sale): I hate doin’ this to you, but you think you could buy this [furniture] off me? I’ll sell it to you for [number] Bells. What do you say? C’mon, [catchphrase]!
 *  “Sure!”: {TAKES MONEY} Hey, thanks, [player]. {GIVES FURNITURE} I got this [furniture] off [other player], but… I’m not a fan of it. Don’t ever tell [other player] about this, though, [catchphrase].
 *  “No way!”: All right, fine. I guess I’ll keep it for a while longer. Wonderful. I can’t throw the thing away, because [other player] gave it to me. You can see the bind I’m in over here. That human would probably be none too pleased if I chucked the thing into the ocean, [catchphrase].

Topic (clothing request): Hey, [player]! Your [clothing] looks exactly like the one I used to have as a kid.
 *  “It’s all yours.”: What? Really? I can have it? You sure, [player]? Well, if you insist on it, [catchphrase]. {TAKES CLOTHING} I’ll gladly take it. {CHANGES CLOTHING} Whoa! That ain’t good. Have I…gained weight?
 *  “Can’t have it!”: Whuh-whaaaaat?! I never said I wanted it! How rude! {ANGRY MOOD}

Topic (given clothing, player): Hey, have you noticed? This is the dress you gave me earlier. I really love it! I’ve never seen a pattern quite like this before. You get it somewhere overseas or somethin’? I think it’ll be my new occasion dress, [catchphrase]. Yeah. Thanks, [player].

Topic (given clothing, other player): [other player] gave me a nice dress the other day. Normally any dress I get as a gift is hideous. The pattern on it is real funky and unusual. I like it, [catchphrase]. Tell [other player] thanks on my behalf, will ya?

Topic (catchphrase request): Hey, yo, [player]. Listen, I usually say “[catchphrase]” at the end of each sentence, but… I think it’s finally completely outstayed its welcome. It makes me sound too old. I just don’t like it anymore. Do you mind thinkin’ up a new phrase for me, [catchphrase]?
 * “I’ll do it!” OK, then, we’re in business. Think me up somethin’ special, [catchphrase]. {CATCHPHRASE ENTRY} OK, let’s try ‘er out… I’m [name], [catchphrase]! Here me roar, [catchphrase]! Oh, YEEEEEEAH! That takes me back to my younger days in a big way…
 *  “I like it!”: Really? You actually like it? I was kinda thinkin’ it was out of style… Well, if that’s what you really think, then… I’ll stick with it for a little longer, [catchphrase]!

Topic (guest book request): Hey, since you’re here on [island name] Island… Why don’t you try writin’ somethin’ in my guest book to commemorate the visit?
 *  “OK!”: Write me somethin’ I’ll remember for all time! {GUESTBOOK ENTRY} Hey, it ain’t too fancy, but it’s better than I expected, [catchphrase]!
 *  “No way!”: What?! You kiddin’? You’re a selfish little toad, ain’t you, [catchphrase]! You’ll regret this!

Topic (guest book display, player): [player], remember this? This is what you wrote in the guest book last time you visited, [catchphrase]. It sounds…kinda sarcastic. Don’t it, [catchphrase]? Am I just imaginin’ things?

Topic (guestbook display, other player): [player] came by here and signed the guest book, [catchphrase]. Check it. Talk about weirdness! I can’t understand a word of this, [catchphrase]!

Topic (other player) 1: [player] was here the other day. Nice kid, huh? You oughta be cool to [player].

Topic (other player) 2: You know, [other player] was here the other day. Tough kid, huh? [player], you oughta model yourself after [other player]! Work hard! Show initiative! Do more, [catchphrase]!

Topic (other player) 3: Hey, so I was wonderin’, what’s the story with you and [other player], huh?
 *  “Family”: You’re family, huh…? That’s great. Seriously, family is the coolest. I wish I had siblings. Like, ten of them, [catchphrase]. Hey! If I did, I could have a baseball team, [player]! That’d be so awesome!
 *  “Friend”: Oh. Friends, huh? I wonder if that’s how [other player] feels about you… Well, even if you’re wrong, you and I will always be friends, OK?
 *  “What’s it to ya?”: Oh, am I bein’ nosy? Hey, sorry. You and [other player], you’re… whatever. None of my beeswax. Um… Listen, life is tough, but you should always stand by [other player], OK? Whatever your relationship is.

Topic (flag change, player): Hey, you changed the pattern on the flag, didn’t you? I’ll admit, I don’t know the first thing about good design, but I gotta say… I LOVE the new pattern you made, [catchphrase]. We could like, win an island flag competition.

Topic (flag change, other player): [other player] came here the other day and changed the pattern on the flag, [catchphrase]. It looks OK. Although, that pattern… I can’t shake the feelin’ that I’ve seen it somewhere before… Oh, do you think it’s just a popular pattern, [catchphrase]?
 *  “That's right!”: Yeah, I knew it! I figured it looked pretty trendy, [catchphrase]. I didn’t think someone like [other player] kept up with the latest fashions. Crazy.
 *  “Not really.”: Oh, you don’t think so? Well, who cares about trends, anyway? Poseurs, that’s who. All that matters is that I like the flag, [catchphrase].

Topic (shaking trees, player): What’s wrong with you? You been shakin’ trees for a while now, [catchphrase]. Why are you so weird?
 *  “I like it!”: Oh, you just like bein’ a total freak? OK, whatever. I thought you’d lost it for a second, [catchphrase].
 *  “What's it to ya?”: No reason to get riled up, tree-tickler! You just shake to your heart’s content, [player]!

Topic (shaking trees, other player): I saw [other player] here the other day, but… That nut kept shakin’ up the trees, [catchphrase]! I gotta wonder… You think somethin’ bad happened?
 *  “Maybe...”: Then you oughta be more supportive, [catchphrase]! Show [other player] how reliable you are, will ya!?
 *  “No.”: Really…? Are you sure, or od you just think that? Personally, I’m still worried. That kid was buggin’ out!

Topic (dug holes, player): You eat somethin’ strange…? You’re freakin’ me out. Why are you diggin’ holes everywhere like a dog with a bone, huh? Well, if you strike oil, I’m expectin’ a cut of the profits, [player].

Topic (dug holes, other player): [other player] came here the other day and dug holes everywhere, for no reason at all! What’s up with that? That freak must’ve ate somethin’ strange, [catchphrase]. Who could like diggin’ holes so much?

Topic (coconut, player): Hey, I saw you pick up a coconut earlier. Don’t deny it. You ARE plannin’ on plantin’ it on the island, aren’t you? Well, I SUPPOSE you can take it back over to [town] if you must. Just be careful with it on the mainland. Coconuts only grow healthily near the ocean, [catchphrase].

Topic (coconut, other player): [other player] picked up a coconut from here recently. I wasn’t all that happy about it, [catchphrase]. I just wonder if it’s bein’ raised properly over in [town]. You got any healthy coconuts over there?
 *  “Sure!”: Oh yeah? You do? Healthy, delicious ones? So, [other player] IS raising it properly. I was a little worried, but I tell ya, [other player] is a real sweetheart, [catchphrase]!
 *  “No clue…”: Hmm… That bothers me. I wonder what happened to the coconut, then? Do you think maybe [other player] ate it? …That’s pretty possible, I guess, [catchphrase].

Topic (ate coconut, player): I saw you eatin’ a coconut. You practically painted your face with it. Did it taste good, [player]? They’re kinda rare, so I hope you plant any that you have left over, [catchphrase].

Topic (ate coconut, other player): [other player] ate a coconut here the other day. Just hopped off the boat and started chowin’ down. [other player] must’ve been starved! That eating machine didn’t even notice me, [catchphrase]!

Topic (planted flowers, player): You’re the one who planted those flowers, right, [catchphrase]? [player], you’re much more decent than you look. You ain’t half-bad. I’m impressed, [catchphrase]!

Topic (planted flowers, other player): Hey! [player]! I just gotta say, that [other player] is real nice, [catchphrase]. Did you know that [other player] planted flowers everywhere? Yeah! I’m serious! So sweet… So very sweet…

Topic (planted saplings, player): [player], you’re so nice! What a surprise! You know what I mean… I saw you plantin’ stuff! Keep up the good work!

Topic (planted saplings, other player): You know, [player], that [other player] is actually pretty nice. Don’t you think, [catchphrase]?
 *  “I know that!”: Yeah, [other player] visited here the other day… that kid’s a class act. But you already know that.
 *  “That's not true!”: Oh, you don’t know anything, do you, [player]? Open your eyes! Your ears! And yes, even your nose! Didn’t you notice that [other player] visited here the other day and planted all kinds of trees and stuff? You gotta learn how to spot the good qualities in people, [catchphrase]! It’s an important skill!

Topic (planted coconut): You’re so considerate! I do believe I saw you plantin’ a coconut earlier. Keep up the good work, [player]! Well done!

Topic (planted coconut, other player): [other player] is such a coper, [catchphrase]. You wanna know why? Because [other player] planted a coconut somewhere on this island, that’s why! I’ll always think of [other player] as a coconut from now on. …Or somethin’ like that.

Topic (planted fruit, player): You’re so considerate! Yeah, you know what I’m talkin’ about. I saw you plantin’ somethin’ earlier. I couldn’t see it too well, but it was [round and red/pink and heart-shaped/red and weird-lookin’/green and smooth/definitely orange]. Is it edible or what? It better be, ’cause if I take a bite of somethin’ nasty, I’ll have to teach you a lesson, [catchphrase]!

Topic (planted apple, other player): [other player] is so considerate, [catchphrase]. You wanna know why? Because [other player] planted an apple somewhere on this island, that’s why! I’ll always think of [other player] as an apple from now on. …Or somethin’ like that.

Topic (planted peach, other player): [other player] is a real champ, [catchphrase]. You wanna know why? Because [other player] planted a peach somewhere on this island, that’s why! So, I’ll always think of [other player] as a peach from now on. …Or somethin’ like that.

Topic (planted cherry, other player): [other player] is a fine person, [catchphrase]. You wanna know why? Because [other player] planted a cherry somewhere on this island, that’s why! I’ll always think of [other player] as a cherry from now on. …Or somethin’ like that.

Topic (planted pear, other player): [other player] is so considerate, [catchphrase]. You wanna know why? Because [other player] planted a pear somewhere on this island, that’s why! I’ll always think of [other player] as a pear from now on. …Or somethin’ like that.

Topic (planted orange, other player): [other player] is such a champ, [catchphrase]. You wanna know why? Because [other player] planted an orange somewhere on this island, that’s why! I’ll always think of [other player] as an orange from now on. …Or somethin’ like that.

Topic (crushed flowers, player): Hold it, [player]! You just stepped on a flower, didn’t you, [catchphrase]? Look at me, flower-stomper! Flowers are living things, just like me and you. Be nice to them or I’ll plant YOU, you hear me?

Topic (crushed flowers, other player): [other player] came here and stomped on a flower. Smooshed it. Didn’t look a bit guilty about it, either. Kids these days! Is this how they get their kicks? Doin’ the Funky Chicken on innocent plants? [player], you oughta always make sure not to stomp on any flowers, [catchphrase]. Hear me?

Topic (crushed many flowers, player): Look what you did, [player]! Just look! And don’t play like you don’t know what I’m talkin’ about! You…little worm! You destroyed the flowers on this island, didn’t you? YOU ANTI-FLORITE! You got a lot of work ahead of you if you wanna make amends for this vandalism, [catchphrase]!

Topic (crushed many flowers, other player): You won’t believe what happened, [player]. [other player] came here the other day… And guess what? That psycho went nuts and trampled all over the flowers on this island! What in the world was goin’ through that idiot’s head?! How stupid and childish can people be?

Topic (chopped trees, player): Hey, you cut down my palm trees, didn’t you, [catchphrase]?! You raging idiot! You giant doofus! You can’t just go around destroyin’ other people’s property, [player]! Are you outta your head?

Topic (chopped trees, other player): Listen to this… [other player] came here and cut down some palm trees for no reason. I got bad vibes. Real bad. Is [other player] always like that?
 *  “That's right!”: Oh, really? Whoa. [other player]’s always like that? What in the world is wrong with that human? That’s a surefire way to make yourself unpopular… [player], you oughta pass on a warning!
 *  “Sorry!”: Huh? That’s real nice of you, but there’s no need for YOU to apologize, [catchphrase]. [other player] just needs to grow up, that’s all.

Topic (chopped many trees, player): Well, now you’ve done it, [player]… You’ve succeeded in completely cheesin’ me off! You wanna tell me how many trees you plan on cuttin’ down, [catchphrase]?
 *  “Sorry!”: Maybe you don’t get enough calcium. Calcium deficiency can make people stupid. Eat fish instead of meat, OK?
 *  “Leave me alone!”: Leave you alone? Do you have any idea how many trees you cut down? Even the slightest clue? Well, I don’t either, but it was a whole lot! You better go plant some trees to replace them, OK, [player]? Do it now. Before I get REAL mad…

Topic (chopped many trees, other player): Hey, [player]! You gotta hear this! You aren’t gonna believe what [other player] did! That axe-happy fool came here and cut down about a bazillion trees, [catchphrase]! I never thought that [other player] would be capable of doin’ somethin’ so unbelievably cold… I wonder if somethin’ bad happened… [player], maybe you oughta be nicer to that nut.

Topic (barred knifejaw, player): What?! You caught one of those barred knifejaws?! You’re tougher than you look, [catchphrase]. I mean, a BARRED KNIFEJAW! Whoa! I’m impressed!

Topic (barred knifejaw, other player): Hey, did you know that [other player] caught one of those barred knifejaws here, [catchphrase]? I had no idea that [other player] was such an expert at fishing! Blew my mind!

Topic (pushed, player): Hey, quit it, [player]! Don’t play dumb, you psycho! You completely just pushed me, [catchphrase]! Grow up already, will ya? And eat your vegetables!

Topic (pushed, other player): I just don’t understand what [other player] is thinkin’ these days. I mean, that human has some real issues. I’m serious! Apparently, that loon thinks it’s hilarious to push me around a lot, [catchphrase]. You know, actually, maybe [other player] was just hungry. Maybe I should’ve offered some food…

Topic (net, player) 1: Hey, stop hittin’ me, [catchphrase]! Just stop! Get a life, will ya?

Topic (net, player) 2: Am I just crazy, or did you JUST HIT ME WITH A NET? [player]! Are you out of your tiny mind? I mean, do I look like some kind of bug to you?! Don’t laugh! I’ll give you a bug, right in the eye! No one likes to be treated like that, you understand me? Don’t EVER do that again!

Topic (net, other player) 1: [other player] visited here the other day… And ordinarily I wouldn’t mind the company… But…that psychopath kept hitting me with a net! I swear, I almost lost it! I was THIS close! What’s up with that? Didn’t anyone ever teach that evil little urchin any manners, [catchphrase]?

Topic (net, other player) 2: Just the other day, [other player] came here and hit me! And not just once! You believe that? What’s the deal with that? Did I do somethin’ bad? I just don’t understand, [catchphrase].

Topic (pitfall, player): So I just fell into a hole that some idiot dug up. Yeah, that was real fun. The dirt, the hurt…awesome. Seriously, why would anyone do something as stupid as diggin’ a hole and just leavin’ it, [catchphrase]? …No! It couldn’t be! It wasn’t you, was it?
 *  “You're wrong!”: Really? You’re POSITIVE? Well, OK. I’m sorry I suspected you. You looked kinda guilty, is all I’m sayin’. Hmm… Isn’t this just a kick in the tail! This was an obviously deliberate crime, [catchphrase]. The culprit must be very smart to elude me thus far! But he—OR SHE—won’t elude me forever!
 *  “Sorry!”: Oh, OK, [player]. I’m glad you’re so honest. Most people I know would’ve passed the buck. You’ve got yourself some guts, [catchphrase]. That’s an excellent trait in a person. Way to go! But don’t EVER do that again, OK, [player]?

Topic (pitfall, other player): Talk about lame… [other player] saw me fall into a hole in the ground, [catchphrase]. I can’t believe I did that. I was so embarrassed, [catchphrase]! I hate makin’ a fool out of myself. I hope [other player] won’t start any rumors about me or anythin’… ‘Cause if I hear just ONE…

Topic (fall, player): You’re such a complete klutz, [player]. Don’t try to play cool, either. I saw you take a dive earlier. Play it smooth all you want, but I know what I saw. You ate a whole faceful of dirt, [catchphrase]. You’re way too hyper. Calm down a little, [player]. That way you won’t keel over so much.

Topic (fall, other player): [other player] was here the other day, and I’ll tell ya, that human didn’t look too steady on the feet. [other player] should calm down a little bit, [catchphrase]. Seriously, it’s too scary too watch.

Topic (popular luck?, player): Hey, I been thinkin’… You’re lookin’ kinda… different today.
 *  “Maybe...”: Never mind. It was just my imagination, [catchphrase]. And I don’t know why, but now I’m gettin’ real angry!
 *  “That's not true!”: Well, I don’t know what it is, but you look great today.

Topic (popular luck?, other player): [other player] was lookin’ mighty fine the other day, [catchphrase].
 *  “Why?”: Why…? Oh, I don’t know why. Maybe [other player] ate a good meal or somethin’, [catchphrase].
 *  “That's not true!”: Oh… Yeah, you’re right! What was I thinkin’? I must’ve been real tired, [catchphrase].

Topic (unpopular luck?, player): For some reason I’m getting’ real bad vibes off you today. You’re puttin’ out some kinda spiritual stink. Hey, I don’t know why… And I don’t care, either! Just stay away from me, [catchphrase]! Far away! Topic (unpopular luck?, other player): [other player] stopped by here the other day… I don’t know why, but for some reason, I got seriously bad vibes, [catchphrase].
 *  “That's old news.”: Wow, you don’t take any guff, do you? I guess you don’t have anythin’ to hide, huh, [catchphrase]? I was wrong about you. You ain’t half-bad. I hope you can forgive me, [player].
 *  “Sorry!”: C’mon, [player]! Don’t apologize! Show a little backbone, will ya? Be more confident! Ugh, I just HATE insecure people, [catchphrase]!

Topic (bad luck, player): You’re takin’ a lot of tumbles lately, [player]. It’s like watchin’ a really dumb sitcom on the tube. Seriously, you look dizzy. Are you OK, [catchphrase]?
 *  “Sure thing!”: That’s great, [catchphrase]! You don’t let the little things get you down, huh? Just shrug ‘em off! Well, maybe you really are an OK person… Whatever. Keep it up, [player]!
 *  “Not really.”: Well, we all have our bad days, know what I mean? I’m sure you’ll pull through all right, [catchphrase].

Topic (bad luck, other player): [other player] was hangin’ here the other day… It was kinda weird… That human looked pretty unsteady, [catchphrase]. Swervin’ and tumblin’… I almost lost my lunch just watchin’ that weirdo reel around the island…

Topic (money luck?, player): Hey, [player]. You look like you been livin’ high on the hog lately.
 *  “Maybe...”: Yeah, I knew it! Moneybags! You look so snotty now, [catchphrase]. Why does every rich person think that a fat wallet is a license to be a huge jerk? Rich THIS, pal!
 *  “That's not true!”: You know, [player]… Money doesn’t magically create happiness, you know. This island may not have much, but I’m plenty happy living here. Let that be a lesson to you.

Topic (money luck?, other player): [other player] dropped by here the other day… I kinda got the impression that [other player] came into a whole bunch of money recently… Maybe it was only because [other player] gained some weird, [catchphrase]. Har har har har HAR!

Topic (item luck?, player): Looks like somebody’s in a good mood, huh? You find somethin’ nice or what, [catchphrase]?
 *  “That's right!”: Oh, that’s good to hear. This must be your lucky day, [catchphrase].
 *  “That's not true!”: Really? I coulda sworn… Ah, whatever. You do look like you’re up to somethin’, though, [catchphrase]. Well, I don’t really care. It’s not important.

Topic (item luck?, other player)?: I saw [other player] here the other day. Had on a creepy half-smile. It was kind of weird, [catchphrase].

Non-Chat / Miscellaneous Interactions
Bee sting: Hey, you! Who are you? …[player]? HA! You poor, dim bee-cushion. Were you shakin’ trees? If you weren’t so slow, you wouldn’t have gotten stung! Get your act together, [catchphrase]! Honestly!

Pushed 1: Quit it, [catchphrase]! {UPSET}

Pushed 2: Where do you think you’re takin’ me, [catchphrase]? {UPSET}

Pushed 3: Stop touchin’ me or I swear I’ll bring the thunder down on ya, [player]! {UPSET}

Net 1: Idiot! What do you think you’re tryin’ to do? {UPSET}

Net 2: Unless you wanna know what a tree tastes like, I suggest you quit it, [player]! {UPSET}

Net 3: Stop it, [player]! I am THIS close… {UPSET}

Pitfall 1:  Hold on a sec!  What’s goin’ on? What is this stupid… Why can’t I get out?!

Pitfall 2: ''' What? GAH! ''' Help! I’m bein’ dragged down!

Pitfall 3: Who did this? Somebody’s gonna catch the BIGGEST beat-down if I ever get outta here!

Sad 1: Sigh… I didn’t want you to see me like this, [catchphrase].

Sad 2: Sorry, [player]. I don’t feel like talkin’ right now, you know? Just leave me alone…

Sad 3: Sigh… That was rough… I feel like I oughta smile at times like this, even if I don’t wanna, [catchphrase].

Angry 1: What the heck is goin’ on?! Whatever it is, I don’t like it at ALL, [catchphrase]!

Angry 2: I’m so FURIOUS! RAAAAAAAWR!

Angry 3: Go AWAY, [player]! I don’t wanna take out my anger on you, ‘cause if I did, things would get ugly!

Upset 1: You’re unbelievable, you know that, [catchphrase]? Do you just like annoyin’ animals or what?

Upset 2: What in the heck are you tryin’ to do, [catchphrase]?

Upset 3: I am really not likin’ what you’re doin’ right now… Scram, [catchphrase]!

Popularity luck 1: Hey! What’s up with you, [player]? I don’t know what it is, but there’s somethin’ special about you today, [catchphrase]! Oh yeah!

Popularity luck 2: Are you [player]?! Since when did you start lookin’ so fine? You’re like a model, [catchphrase]! …Huh? What in the…? Whoa. Weird. You looked so good a second ago. Just my imagination, I guess. {NEUTRAL LUCK}

Popularity luck 3A: Are you really [player]? You look so much better lookin’ than usual! …Hmm? What? Oh, [player]. It’s just you. Am I just tired or what? Am I startin’ to see things, [catchphrase]? {NEUTRAL LUCK}

Popularity luck 3B: Are you really [player]? You look so much better lookin’ than usual! Oh, this is crazy! You’re practically sparkling! I can’t keep my eyes off of you, [player]!

Unpopularity luck 1: What do you want?! I’m extremely busy right now! Come back some other time, will ya, [catchphrase]!

Unpopularity luck 2: Oh, just shut your pie-hole! I can’t be interrupted at the moment, you pest! …Oh, hey, wait… Don’t make such a sad face, [catchphrase]. I didn’t mean all that. My fault, [player]. You gotta forgive me!

Unpopularity luck 3: You’re so dang pesky! I’m VERY busy right now! I don’t have time for your nonsense, [catchphrase]! Oh, quit your whinin’! You better get your act together, [player]! I know you’re a kid and all, but do you wanna stay one forever or do you wanna grow up a little?!

Asleep message: Go away! I’m sleeping!