Mr. Resetti/Super Smash Bros. Brawl dialogue

This lists the speeches said by Mr. Resetti in Super Smash Bros. Brawl. Bold text is used instead of large text.

First speech
The first time Mr. Resetti appears, he will say this speech. It will not appear more than once unless the save is deleted.

HEY!

NO RESETTIN'!

YOU HEAR ME?!

Huh? You sayin' you never reset nothin'?

Oh, well, uh.... Guess we ain't got a problem then.

So, lemme introduce myself. Name's Resetti. Mr. Resetti.

On behalf of the family, I'd like to show youse.... I mean show YOU, uh....

Uh, show you.... Aw, forget it! How's a mole supposed to remember this garbage? HUH?

Let's cut to the chase. Ever hear of Animal Crossing? Yeah? Well, that's where I'm from.

I'm the guy who stops cheaters from cheatin'. The no-resettin' policy enforcer, ya follow?

Ya break the rules, ya gotta deal with the mole in charge here.

I'm like the....how you say.... conscience of Animal Crossing.

And, uh, I ain't one to toot my own horn or nothin', but I'm a big deal. I'm the most popular--

What's that? You ain't got time for this?

You wanna know what it is I'm doin' here?

You ain't heard a word I said, that it? You got potatoes in your ears, punk? HUH?

This is Super Smash somethin' or other, ain't it?

Yeah? Then quit complainin'. I'm SUPPOSED to be here. I'm the star of the show, twerp!

Huh? What's that? I'm in the way? Ya can't see the screen?

KEEP CRYIN', PUNK!

I got a little news for ya! It don't matter if you're resettin' anything, OK?

I'm gonna be poppin' up now an' again, so you'd better be ready for your daily dose of mole!

It ain't like this is all earthworms and mudbaths for me, pal. I'm just followin' orders. We clear?

SCRAM!

Random speeches
After the first speech, these speeches may appear at random. The order in which they're listed here is the order they appear in the game's data.

Random speech 1
GRAARR!

NO....RESETTIN'!

UNDERSTAND?!

Whoa.... Phew.... Gotta catch.... my breath....

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I hear ya. Stop whinin' already!

"But no one reset anything! Blah blah dee blah." That's what ya wanna tell me, right?

You ain't gotta say a thing. I can see it in your eyes. They're, uh, real expressive.

Comin' out here is just somethin' I gotta do, get me? Stop gettin' so worked up.

It's like crust on bread, you know what I mean?

Cut it off, leave it on, who really cares, am I right?

It's no big deal one way or the other, get me?

Look, I don't wanna be here. I got places to be, ya know?

I got a load of wet clothes sittin' in my washin' machine.

I don't get 'em hung up quick, it's wrinkle city. Think I wanna look like a naked mole rat? Nuh-uh!

And the stench? Don't get me started.

But when duty calls, I gotta answer. It's in my contract.

Lemme tell ya about Assist Trophies, all right?

They're items that call up who knows what.

Most of the time, it's some good egg who's gonna help you lay down the law.

That's a good thing. Like a nice, shiny new pick.

Waitin' to see who shows up will get that ticker pumpin', believe you me.

But that ain't what happens when I'm on the job, get me?

I ain't here to take sides. I'm like one of them countries that don't fight in wars. Neutral, right?

I could help, but I don't. See, I gotta show all you punks 'bout self-control.

It's that whole "tough love" song and dance. I gotta tell ya, it ain't easy on me, neither.

Yo, punk! You ain't gonna get nowhere bumpin' into me.

Whack me with a hammer, swing for the fences with one of them bats, it don't matter.

None of that junk works on me. I'm like a super mole, ya follow?

And sometimes, I just go KA-BLAM!

SO WATCH IT, PUNK!

All right, then.... It's about time for me to get tunnelin'.

Oh, yeah, one last thing....

Take a bath, will ya? It's gettin' ripe in here! Now....

SCRAM!

Random speech 2
GRAARR!

'''I TOLD YOU! NO RESETTIN'!'''

WHAT DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND?!

Ooh.... World's gettin' dark.... ....Gotta stop spinnin'.... Whew.

All that yellin' got me dizzy. Ain't enough air around here. Throat hurts, too!

So whaddya want? Huh? You called me, didn't ya?

Yeah, I know, it's my job, so there's no point in gettin' my whiskers twisted, but....

When the sirens go off in HQ, I gotta start diggin'.

It don't matter what I'm doin', I gotta drop it an' go.

I'm eatin' dinner? Plate's on the floor, fork's in the ceilin'. In the tub? Wet mole.

Don't believe me? Feel my fur! Go on, touch it! TOUCH IT! Point is, I ain't got a choice.

None of you punks can see it, but all I'm wearin' downstairs is a towel!

I got dirt clods in places they don't belong, understand?

And another thing....

What's the big idea treatin' me like an item, huh?

If I could move around on my own? Join this here brawl? Oooh, look out!

I would tear this place right UP! Mole elbow over here! BAM! Dirt nap there! SLAM!

[Character 1].... [Character 2].... You'd be runnin' home to Mama!*

Grr! What a rip-off! Where's it written that moles gotta stay underground? HUH?

Aw.... Forget it. Bein' a burrowin' mammal ain't ALL bad, ya know?

I got dirt and worms....an'....dirt.... Well, I get to tell YOU what's what, right? Set you straight....

That's good enough for me.... You bet it is....

....Sniff....

I ain't cryin'. I got dirt in my eye, you hear what I'm sayin'?! RESETTI DON'T CRY!

Listen, punk, bein' able to hop and jump all over the place ain't all it's cracked up to be.

You don't stretch right, you could twist an ankle or twang a hamstring or somethin'.

All that punchin' and kickin' has gotta be hard on a body.

I got no problem with you showin' off your moves. Some of 'em are pretty fancy, but....

What I don't wanna see is any scrappin' 'bout who won and who lost, ya hear?

Whew! I'm gonna run my yap this much, I gotta buy me some of them throat lozenges.

All right, then.... I'm gonna hit the tunnels.

Do me a favor, will ya?

Use the restroom before ya hit the sack! Now....

SCRAM!

* Mr. Resetti chooses two random characters from the fight for this line. If there is only one player due to a glitch, he will use his own name for the second character. The game's speech data also contains "I'd eat 'em for breakfast!" in the location where this paragraph is later inserted during play; it appears to be in unused option of some sort.

Random speech 3
GRAARR!

You just don't get it, do ya, punk?!

IT AIN'T ROCKET SCIENCE, BUB!

All ya gotta do is NOT reset!

This ain't the time for more roughhousin', twerps!

Your attention. I WANT IT! Hey! I'm talkin' to YOU! LOOK....OVER....HERE!

It's all I ever hear, I swear: "Resetti's an utter maniac." "Meanest mole ever."

Well, I've been workin' on a little somethin' to show ya.

Got a few tips from this pygmy shrew voted class clown at tunnelin' school.

This works out all right, I might pack up my pick and hit the comedy circuit!

I think you're gonna like this, so sit back and relax.

First up! Impersonations. You know, where I talk like somebody else, get me?

My impersonation of [Character] !*

[Quote!]

Well? Huh? How was that? Dead ringer, right?

What? Dead stinker?

....

Hold it.... You laughin' at me? THERE! I saw your nose twitchin'! Now you did it!

UGHWAAH!

You're marked for LIFE! I ain't NEVER forgivin' you for this!

Comedy hour's done, but you got front-row seats to a prime-time horror fest!

Claws? Check! Pick? Check! Rage-filled mole? Double-check! This is gonna get ugly!

GRAARR!

OUCH!

My.... My....back.... Oh, boy.... Musta pinched....a nerve....

My chiropractor warned me not to get too worked up....

All this diggin' got my entire spine outta whack. I'm supposed to be takin' it easy.

That's good news for you, 'cause it means I'm outta here.

Guess I ain't got what it takes to keep up with you. I'm gettin' old, ya know?

Oh, but one last thing....

Get some shut-eye, will ya? Stayin' up late's for punks! Now....

SCRAM!

* Mr. Resetti chooses a random character from the fight and says a relevant quote.

Situational
These interjections occur under specific conditions.

Attacked several times
If Mr. Resetti is attacked several times, he produces an explosion and pauses his speech with one of these responses. His speech will then continue, starting over the interrupted paragraph.

'''Think you don't gotta listen to me? HEY!'''

'''Quiet down, will ya? I'm talkin' here! HEY!'''

Left offstage
This response occurs if Mr. Resetti falls off the stage or is scrolled offstage, followed by his disappearance.

'''H-hey! Don't you ditch me, punk!'''