Dr. Shrunk/New Leaf jokes

In, Dr. Shrunk will teach the player the following emotions via way of telling a joke. Some of these jokes Shrunk tells references his former mentor Frillard, and often will have Shrunk worried if he'll appease his former master. At the end of all of his jokes, he'll perform the Shrunk Funk Shuffle to the player.

Happiness
"Thank you! Thank you! Dr. Shrunk is in the house! My Happiness Joke is just the thing to CURE what ails you! I'd like to discuss a very serious topic... Happiness! In fact, if you ask me what I seriously think is the MOST serious issue of our day, I'd say... Happiness! Serious, right? Know what I'm serious about? Happiness! Now, I don't mean to bring everyone down, but I truly believe there's ONE word that sums it all up. ...Orange! Huh?! Orange you glad I didn't say "happiness" again?"

Laughter
"Thank you! Thank you! Dr. Shrunk is in the house! My Laughter Joke is just the thing to CURE what ails you! Have I ever got a serious case of the giggles today! Wanna know why? I got a standing ovation last night! But then I woke up and realized I'd just been dreaming!"

Joy
"Thank you! Thank you! Dr. Shrunk is in the house! My Joy Joke is just the thing to CURE what ails you! I'm simply bursting with joy up here on the stage today! Wanna know why? A visitor just complimented me! He told me that when he has trouble sleeping...he comes to see my show!"

Love
"Thank you! Thank you! Dr. Shrunk is in the house! My Love Joke is just the thing to CURE what ails you! Did you know that love makes everything nicer? So let me tell you about my wife! She used to be the sweetest girl in the whole wide world! She used to say, "Shrunk, you're my funny honey!" But these days, the missus says things like... "Don't leave ME all the housework!"   "Why do you come home so LATE?!"  "When is that CLUB of yours gonna pay the bills?!" Yep, the missus really knows how to make me feel like a big joke... But little does she know... I 💗 feeling like a big joke!"

Glee
''"Thank you! Thank you! Dr. Shrunk is in the house! My Glee Joke is just the thing to CURE what ails you! You know, I'm SO happy right now because I remembered something that happened a while back! Wanna know what happened? I had my palm read, and the fortune-teller said to me... "Shrunk, your palm tells me much! You are very...DARING!" I was happy to hear that, so I began dancing around! Then I said to her, "Tell me more, please!" And she said, "Shrunk, I can see that NO ONE laughs at your jokes... "Still, you go on stage every day, Shrunk! It is so DARING to be as unfunny as you are!" Can you believe it? THAT made me the most daring comic in the biz? YEAH, RIGHT!"''

Anger
"Thank you! Thank you! Dr. Shrunk is in the house! My Anger Joke is just the thing to CURE what ails you! Have I ever got a SERIOUS case of irritation today! Wanna know why? I just bought a fortune cookie. When I cracked it open, there was NO fortune inside! So I bought ANOTHER one. It didn't have a fortune either! Finally, I bought a THIRD cookie. I smashed it open. Guess what? There was a fortune inside! It said... "You will spend a fortune in Play Coins on cookies today." Can you BELIEVE that?!"

Aggravation
''"Thank you! Thank you! Dr. Shrunk is in the house! My Aggravation Joke is just the thing to CURE what ails you! Have I ever got a SERIOUS case of the ANGRIES today! Just before coming in today, I was walking past the museum when I was attacked by blue-haired ladies! They crowded around me with their cameras and wouldn't let me pass! I'm thinking, "I do NOT have time for this! I can't satisfy EVERY fan out there!" But I just couldn't say no, so I said OK, OK, OK. This made the blue- haired ladies light up with glee! But then! They gave me their cameras and made me take pictures of THEM instead! I'm like, "Use the photo booth!""''

Outrage
''"Thank you! Thank you! Dr. Shrunk is in the house! My old teacher's Outrage Joke is the thing to CURE what ails you! But...I'm worried I won't be able to pull it off as well as he did. Guess I'll just have to give it a try! Prepare to see emotion in motion! You shall now see steam appear out of nowhere! ...So I was on my way to the train station the other day. And THEN! I got lost. Totally helpless. And THEN! This lady in a fancy dress came over and gave me directions to the station! She said... "Good sir, go zing that way, whoosh around the corner, then zoom up the hill! Ya can't miss it!" I was flabbergasted! So I said to her... "Hogwash, madam!""''

Worry
''"Thank you! Thank you! Dr. Shrunk is in the house. My Worry Joke is just the thing to CURE what ails you! You know...sometimes people say things that can really make you feel kinda worried. The other day, I was walking around and I saw an older lady trip and fall before my very eyes! I was shocked! Of course I immediately jumped into action to help her out. "Ma'am, are you OK?" I asked. "Did you hit your head? Can you say your name and how old you are?" Then she jumped right back up on her feet, and you know what she said? "Hee hee hee. You and your friends ask a lot of questions!" Hmmmmmmmm......"''

Sighing
''"Thank you! Thank you! Dr. Shrunk is in the house! My Sighing Joke is just the thing to CURE what ails you! So I once got some advice from a respected man of the theater. He said to me... "Shrunk! You'll never be a hit in a million years if all you do is MUMBLE all the time!" Well, I ALWAYS belted out my jokes from then on out! Turns out mumbling wasn't my problem after all..."''

Thought
"Thank you! Thank you! Dr. Shrunk is in the house! My old teacher's Thought Joke is sure to CURE what ails you! But...I'm worried I won't be able to pull it off as well as he did. Guess I'll just have to give it a try! Prepare to see emotion in motion! You shall now see dots appear in the very air! You may wonder... can the master still summon thought dots after all these years? Does he still have the concentration it takes? Or do thought dots come only to the spring chickens? Watch as the master shows you how it's done! OK, here goes! ...What?! I can't do it! Quick, play me off! I wonder what I did wrong..."

Sadness
"Thank you! Thank you! Dr. Shrunk is in the house! My Sadness Joke is just the thing to CURE what ails you! Have I ever got a serious case of the blues today! Wanna know why? I was woken up early this morning by a voice that came out of nowhere! "Shrunk... Shrunk... Shrunk...!" Yes! There was a GHOST in the room! So I hid under the covers! And then the ghost called out again! "No more... No more... No more...JOKES!" Can you believe it? I'm even getting booed from the great beyond! C'mon, ghost, I'm already retired. You'd think they'd leave me alone..."

Distress
''"Thank you! Thank you! Dr. Shrunk is in the house! My Distress Joke is just the thing to CURE what ails you! So...the other day I was at a birthday party for my wife. "Congrats! I feel like such a lucky guy! Of all the fish in the sea, I somehow caught a whale!" That's what I said to her. And then she made this really angry face and glared at me. "I'm never talking to you again!" That's what she said to me. What? Why would she say that? Did I say something wrong? I thought that was a compliment!"''

Sorrow
"Thank you! Thank you! Dr. Shrunk is in the house! My Sorrow Joke is just the thing to CURE what ails you! So...people often say that they bawled their head off at the movie theater. Ever hear this? But bawling means you cry while shouting out loud, right? I've never seen a person cry AND scream at the movies before. There's weeping, which you can do quietly. You can also quietly sob while sniffling a lot. There's also that type of sobbing where the words get stuck in your throat but you can't stop talking. But it would be kind of awkward to say you wept at the movies. Why not just say you cried a lot? Huh? What's with the "I don't care" face? Come on now. Gimme SOME kind of reaction. It's no fun being ignored... WAAAAAAAAH!"

Surprise
"Thank you! Thank you! Dr. Shrunk is in the house! My Surprise Joke is just the thing to CURE what ails you! The other day... I bought a bag of potato chips. I was happily munching on them when I noticed the package said... "Now with REAL potato flavor!" Hey, I LOVE real potatoes! So what have I been eating all these years...?"

Disbelief
"Thank you! Thank you! Dr. Shrunk is in the house! My Disbelief Joke is just the thing to CURE what ails you! Sometimes people used to throw rotten tomatoes at me if they didn't like my jokes. The lights on the stage shined in my eyes! I couldn't see a tomato coming at me until it was too late! So if you see me do THIS... It means I'm scared a tomato is on a direct flight to my FACE! That look you're giving me... Don't get any ideas! I really shouldn't use this joke anymore. Much too dangerous..."

Shocked
"Thank you! Thank you! Dr. Shrunk is in the house! My Shocked Joke is just the thing to CURE what ails you! So the other day...I was walking around in my neighborhood, and I noticed a small boy. He was trying really hard to reach the doorbell on one of the houses. He just couldn't get it, though. That's why I thought I'd be nice and press it for him. You know—ding dong! ♫ Then the kid suddenly ran off! Classic ding-dong ditch! But I forgot to run!"

Cold Chill
"Thank you! Thank you! Dr. Shrunk is in the house! My Cold Chill Joke is just the thing to CURE what ails you! So, um...is it just me, or is it cold in here tonight?! Eeeep! I just felt it again! Ah! I know what it is! It's the ice- cold stares I'm getting! Eeeeep! I never really liked that joke..."

Fearful
"Thank you! Thank you! Dr. Shrunk is in the house! My Fearful Joke is just the thing to CURE what ails you! Ever had a terrible case of stage fright? Where you...just...stop and shake uncontrollably? Dr. Shrunk has the cure for you! Just trick yourself into thinking you're shaking for some OTHER reason instead! Like, maybe you have a nasty brain freeze! Eeeep! Or maybe you swallowed a fly by accident! Urk! Or maybe... Er, maybe... Maybe someone in the audience is about to BOO you off the stage! OOOOOH! NOOOOO!"

Agreement
"Thank you! Thank you! Dr. Shrunk is in the house! My old teacher's Agreement Joke is sure to CURE what ails you! But...I'm worried I won't be able to pull it off as well as he did. Guess I'll just have to give it a try! There's something really stuck in my craw. It's that youngsters never listen these days! So here's how to pay attention! Sit still. Be patient. Clean the wax out of your ears. And nod your head the whole time to show that you're following along. Like this... Uh-huh! Interesting! I see! Of course. Oh yes! ...Right. Yep... ...Mmmm-hmmmm... ...Mmmm... Zzzzzzzzzzzz..."

Inspiration
"Thank you! Thank you! Dr. Shrunk is in the house! My old teacher's Inspiration Joke is sure to CURE what ails you! But...I'm worried I won't be able to pull it off as well as he did. Guess I'll just have to give it a try! Prepare to see emotion in motion! You shall now see inspiration in the very air! Uhh... What was I going to do? I had a great scene that I just thought of... Oh no... What was it? Oh! That's right! Oh, wait. No. I lost it again. Quick! Turn off the lights!"

Curiosity
''"Thank you! Thank you! Dr. Shrunk is in the house! My Curiosity Joke is just the thing to CURE what ails you! Have I ever got a serious case of the what-in-the-worlds today! Wanna know why? It's all because of something my kid said last night! So he hears a knock, right? And he goes to the door and shouts, "Who IS it?" Just like I taught him, right? And a woman on the other side yells, "I'm selling candy! May I speak to the HEAD of this household?" And what does HE say? Get this! "My MOM is out right now!"  My own kid says that! Can you BELIEVE it?! I mean, what in the world?!"''

Heartbreak
"Thank you! Thank you! Dr. Shrunk is in the house. My Heartbreak Joke is just the thing to CURE what ails you! You know, I've never forgotten my first heartbreak. Back then, I was just a little Shrunk in kindergarten! For Valentine's Day, we all swapped cards! And I really poured my heart out to this girl I liked! I watched in class as she slowly opened my card... Then she broke out laughing! She said she'd never read anything SO funny in her life! Great, except... It was the one time I ever DIDN'T want to make someone laugh. I guess it's true that tragedy is at the heart of all true comedy."

Sleepy
"Thank you! Thank you! Dr. Shrunk is in the house. My Sleepy Joke is just the thing to CURE what ails you! Have you heard? Yawns are contagious. There was one day, years ago, when I was performing in front of a totally packed audience... Well, uh, "packed" might be a tiny exaggeration... I was performing in front of a good number of people, so I thought I'd share a special joke I'd been saving. Just then, some big guy sitting smack-dab in the middle of the audience let out a HUGE yawn! Then it started to spread. From row to row, the yawn caught on and got closer and closer until... YAWWWWN...  ...Huh? What? Which joke was I doing again..."

Bashfulness
"Thank you! Thank you! Dr. Shrunk is in the house! My old teacher's Bashfulness Joke is sure to CURE what ails you! But...I'm worried I won't be able to pull it off as well as he did. In fact, it might not make any sense at all, come to think of it. Guess I'll just have to give it a try anyway! Prepare to see emotion in motion! You shall now see embarrassment appear in the very air! ...I was talking to my youngest daughter the other day. And THEN! She said that she thought I was 110 years old! And THEN! I got very embarrassed! I mean, 110?! Do I really look that YOUNG to you?! 💗 Oh wow. I'm embarrassed to even use that joke."

Resignation
''"Thank you! Thank you! Dr. Shrunk is in the house! My Resignation Joke is just the thing to CURE what ails you! The other day... I ran into an old buddy of mine... He used to say, "This company isn't grand enough for a man like me. Someday I'll show them and quit!" Well, you know what I said to him? "Could I just get fries with that?""''

Mischief
"Thank you! Thank you! Dr. Shrunk is in the house! My Mischief Joke is just the thing to CURE what ails you! Have I ever got a serious case of the up-to-no-goods today! Wanna know why? Yeah, I BET you would! Hey, do you have something on your nose there...? Psych! Gotcha!"

Delight
"Thank you! Thank you! Dr. Shrunk is in the house! My Delight Joke is just the thing to CURE what ails you! So guess what...? I was thinking I'd show you a brand-new joke today! How 'bout it? Ready? Let's hear a rousing round of applause for the joke! C'mon! Who wants to hear my new joke?! Just clap! Come on. If you want to hear it, clap! Clap clap clap!

No? Not even a little?"

Sneezing
"Thank you! Thank you! Dr. Shrunk is in the house! My Sneezing Joke is just the thing to CURE what ails you! Unless what ails you is the SNIFFLES! My grandma used to tell me that when you sneeze, it means someone is talking about you. I used to be pretty popular back in the day, so I got used to people talking about me here and there. It hasn't really happened since I retired, though... ACHOOOO!  Huh?! Could it be that someone out there is talking about me?!  ACHOOO!  ACHOOOOOOO!  See?! They must be!  ACHOOO!  ACHOOO!  ACHOOO! Uh-oh. Maybe it's my human allergies coming back again..."

Greetings
''"Thank you! Thank you! Dr. Shrunk is in the house! My Greetings Joke is just the thing to CURE what ails you! You see, the other day...as I was walking down the street, someone was walking my way and smiling. "Huh? Who are they...?" is what I thought to myself. All of a sudden, the person says "Long time no see!" to me. I figured it would be rude not to respond, so I did a "Hey, long time no see!" right back. But then that person walked right past me and stopped to talk to someone walking behind me... Guess it'll be a bit longer until we see each other."''

Pride
"Thank you! Thank you! Dr. Shrunk is in the house! My Pride Joke is just the thing to CURE what ails you! So...I remembered this really funny joke my teacher used to tell. Do you want to hear it? Hee hee hee tee hee hee! Ah, sorry, sorry. Just thinking about it makes me laugh. Well, are you ready to hear this great joke? There are two kinds of people in this world... Those who can count...  And those without! OH NO! I messed up the joke..."

Sheepishness
"Thank you! Thank you! Dr. Shrunk is in the house! My Sheepishness Joke is just the thing to CURE what ails you! So...this story is from back when I was still doing stand-up comedy as my day-to-day job. One day I practiced so much, I pretty much lost my voice. My teacher came to my house to see how I was doing. He told my son, "Your dad's a little hoarse today." My son thought about it and said, "He looks more like an axolotl than a horse to me!" Runs in the family, I tell ya......"

Sunniness
"Thank you! Thank you! Dr. Shrunk is in the house! My Sunniness Joke is just the thing to CURE what ails you! Here's a fun little fact for you... There's nothing more important to a comedian than a big smile. Even if you have an ugly mug, you need to have a big smile. There's nothing that charms people more than smiles on faces of any shape or level of attractiveness. That's why I'm so good at capturing the hearts of my audience. Wanna see how a pro does it? Here's a taste, so watch closely. Thank you! Thank you! Dr. Shrunk is in the house! Huh? It's not working..."

Shyness
"Thank you! Thank you! Dr. Shrunk is in the house! My Shyness Joke is just the thing to CURE what ails you! This story is from back before the missus and I got hitched... It was truly love at first sight. So one day I gathered up all my courage and decided to propose to her! Yeah! It went great! Um...well...the truth is... I, um... I mean, what I want to say is... I just couldn't spit it out. I was standing there squirming, and she looked at me and said, "I'm sorry, who are you?" It took three months to get up the nerve to try again..."

Disagreement
"Thank you! Thank you! Dr. Shrunk is in the house! My Disagreement Joke is just the thing to CURE what ails you! Have you heard...that gestures can mean different things in different countries? It's true! Recently, I learned something interesting about the gesture of shaking your head like this. We think of it as "No, that's not true" when we shake our head left and right. But for people in other parts of the world, it means "Yes, that's right." Confusing, huh? What do you think? Are you surprised to hear that? My stories are always both really funny and highly educational! Hey now! Everyone in the audience doesn't need to agree all at once..."

Mistaken
"Thank you! Thank you! Dr. Shrunk is in the house! My Mistaken Joke is just the thing to CURE what ails you! I've got a special treat for you today... Or rather, I've got a riddle for you that'll blow your mind! Listen carefully now! Are you ready? Here goes! Because seven ate nine! ...Ack! Oh no! I said the punch line first! Why is six afraid of seven... Why is six afraid of seven... And why IS seven eating nine...?"

Flourish
"Thank you! Thank you! Dr. Shrunk is in the house! My Flourish Joke is just the thing to CURE what ails you! Well, you see...I used to be a great reaction comedian a while back. So of course I had a powerful gag to use when I really hit a home run. I'm going to give you an extra- special treat and let you see it today! Watch carefully! Are you ready? Here I go!            That was SPINteresting! What do you think? Wanna see it again? That was SPINteresting! Well? Pretty easy, right? I wonder why it never caught on..."

Daydreaming
"Thank you! Thank you! Dr. Shrunk is in the house! My Daydreaming Joke is just the thing to CURE what ails you! You know...the lottery can really get you dreaming. If I won first prize, I'd buy a yacht, and then get a hot tub for my yacht, and some sort of robot butler... Maybe take the missus on vacation. Would she like a tropical island? Or perhaps a mountain hot spring? Thinking about all those exciting possibilities really gets me jazzed! Hmmm? When do they announce the results of the lottery? I don't know. I was so busy daydreaming that I forgot to buy a ticket..."

Showmanship
"Thank you! Thank you! Dr. Shrunk is in the house! My Showmanship Joke is just the thing to CURE what ails you! You know...back when I first made my debut, there was a catchphrase I always used during every show. It was back when all I could think about was getting people to actually remember my name. Today I'll share that catchphrase with you, so listen carefully, keep your eyes on me, and remember it! Are you ready? Here I go! Look ♪ at ♫ the hunk!  His name is The Shrunk! It didn't win me any fans for some strange reason..."

Shrunk Funk Shuffle
"Thank you! Thank you! Dr. Shrunk is in the house! My Special Joke is just the thing to CURE what ails you! You know what? I've told you all the jokes I actually know. I think you have enough jokes to become a top-class reaction comedian now. Congrats! To celebrate your debut... Well, it's not a joke, but I'm going to teach you the Shrunk Funk Shuffle! Watch carefully and remember it! Are you ready? Here I go! It's 1 and 2, step, step! You gotta get your hips swinging! Step, step! All eyes will be on you if you do the Shrunk Funk Shuffle! Whew. I need to stop. I'm feeling my years..."