Episode/Wild World dialogue

Episode 1 (1st Sunday of April)

 * Pshhhh...
 * (Player asks "What's wrong?") I should say, dear Brewster has provided me much amusement over the years... It's not that the fellow is naive, per se, it's just... Well... How to put this?... That wonderful pigeon is just rather simple.
 * ("Really?") Indeed, he is, though I don't mean to say he's daft... He's just...innocent. For instance, the other day, a sleazy business-type oozed into the cafe... This wretch was trying to sell Brewster a counterfeit piece of art! Hoo-rrific! " Real coffee. Real art. Real profits. You'd be CRAZY to pass up this deal! " ...Now, of course, most folk would see right through such a charlatan... Not our pigeon, however. Thank goodness I showed up when I did, eh wot! Indeed, "FAKE!" I cried, and the cad fled from the pique-ruffled feathers!

Episode 2 (Next Thursday)

 * Uuuurgh...
 * (Player asks "What's wrong?") No, no, pay me no mind. I believe I'm just a touch on the drowzy side... If you think about it, I keep this place open day and night, 24 hours... It's no lovely park stroll! Rather a ferocious work schedule, eh wot?
 * ("Incredibly!") But, then, it is my duty, so I try not to admit fatigue or clamor for vacation. And if you care to know a bit of a naughty secret, when the museum is empty... I go downstairs for a cup of coffee and a wee break, hoo! Oh, such naughtiness! Ah. Yes. Hoo. Indeed. Delectable... All this talking has got me thinking about how simply glorious a cup would taste! That bitter aroma that hits you as soon as you set foot in the shop... Hoo! Indeed, hootie hoo! A cup of java would truly hit the spot, wot wot!

Episode 3 (Next Sunday)

 * Muhhhh...
 * (Player asks "What's wrong?") Well, I've been dealing with a rather nasty bit of insomnia lately... Could I perhaps have been drinking too much coffee?
 * ("Probably...") Hoo. Yes. You have a point. In coffee, there is a substance called caffeine... And in caffeine, there are stimulants which awaken your senses, wot wot! That said, my usual is a heady blend which includes Brewster 's special... ..." Pigeon Milk "! Just brilliant stuff, that! It counteracts stimulants and actually relaxes, wot! Yes. Indeed. Hoo. Ultimately, the subtle yin and yang of the two give me balance! Hoo? I beg your pardon? You think that means... They cancel each other out? So it wouldn't matter if I drank it or not? Hoo. Yes. Ah. Hm. Indeed. Why on earth AM I drinking that stuff, anyway?

Episode 4 (Next Wednesday)

 * Ahhhh...
 * (Player asks "What's wrong?") Actually, I was just thinking about the very day that Brewster and I met...
 * ("Tell me!") Well, Brewster and I met in a town far from here...in my hometown, in fact... 'Twas on the outskirts of fowntown, in the shadows of its towering skyscrapers... He owned and operated a cafe, much like the one in this museum, wot wot!
 * ("Tell me more!") Crave the details, do you? Perhaps I should tell you what brought us together... I was still very young at the time, just a spring owl attending university. I was working towards a deadline on my thesis and having a rough time of it. I went all over town, from cafe to cafe, writing in an absolute furor, but... I still couldn't complete it. With each passing day, I became more frustrated. And then, as I descended into madness...the owner of the cafe said to me...
 * ("What? WHAT?!") " There's nothing more bitter or tragic than a rushed cup of coffee. " Just a simple comment, really. But it struck me to my very core, wot! It cut through the pall of anger and opened my eyes to what I was doing. Making coffee is more than just pouring hot water over grounds, you see. It's about taking one's time to coax the flavor from the savory beans... A thesis is the same way. He taught me that my brain was like his coffee beans! Yes. Hoo. You've guessed it. That barista was none other than Brewster himself, wot! And that is how our long and deep-rooted friendship began! Hootie hoo!

Episode 5 (Next Saturday)

 * Mmmmph...
 * (Player asks "What's wrong?") Well... To be quite honest, I was just revisiting my past a bit...
 * ("What part?") Yes. Hoo. I was thinking about Brewster, who owns the cafe downstairs. Well, when he lived in my hometown, he had a bit of a rough life, you see... Compared to this town, it was a gargantuan city, and you know bit-city life... Land was savagely expensive, and taxes astronomical... ...and dear Brewster was having a hard time making ends meet at the shop!

Episode 6 (Next Tuesday)

 * Ooh hoo...
 * (Player asks "What's wrong?") Well... I was just mulling over how Brewster used to be, once upon a time. It's in the past, so I think it's fine for me to share that he had it rough.
 * ("Really?") Like Brewster himself, his shops have always been solely about the coffee... But traditional coffee cafes don't draw customers like they once did... And those in the city that try to attract hipsters have it even harder, wot! Because he was having a hard time filling the seats, he was financially pressed. At the time, he even considered closing up shop and turning in his apron...
 * ("Poor thing.") Poor thing, indeed! Hoo! When I got wind of dear Brewster 's predicament... Why, I knew I had to do something! I promptly dashed off a letter... I offered him one of the museum 's rooms, free of charge, of course... But only if he agreed to move to, start a new shop and a new life!
 * ("He agreed?") ...Indeed! You can see what he thought of the idea! And business is booming! Oh, you can't swing a net in the city without hitting the coffee shop nowadays... ...but in, it's still a bit of a rare treat, eh wot? I should say so! That pigeon loves coffee more than life itself, and he shares that love! Indeed, Brewster is what I would call a luminary of luscious lattes, wot!

Episode 1 (2nd Thursday of July)

 * Hooo...
 * (Player asks "What's wrong?") Ah. Hoo. I was just thinking about my hometown... Not that this old bird is homesick, mind you... But there are certain times when I yearn for the neon lights of the big city...
 * ("Really?") Hoo? What times, you ask? Well, it relates to my university years, you see... At the behest of my professor, I often stayed late in the laboratory... So, rather than a flat as I worked on my master's, I lived with my parents. Then I started working on my doctorate, of course... Yes, STARTED, hoo...
 * ("Didn't finish?") No, not as such... You see, one day, my professor approached me with an idea. He spoke of plans in the offing to build a museum in this town. They were having a most difficult time filling the curator position... 'Twas my understanding that no one from the main Farway Museum would move... And sadly, they were unable to fill the position with local talent... So, they asked the person heading up the project to find a good fit, wot! And that good fit was none other than yours truly! And so it went, hoo!
 * ''("So that means...") Yes. Well, the timing was perfect... I'd just received my curator's license, and before I knew it, I was the newest resident of dear old ! And the rest, as they say, is history, wot wot! Don't misunderstand, it's not as though I regret moving here! Not one jot! It's just that I can't help but get a wee bit nostalgic at times!

Episode 2 (Next Monday)

 * Hrrrgh...
 * (Player asks "What's wrong?") Ah. Yes. Hoo. I was...merely reminiscing again...
 * ("Tell me!") I suppose I was still at university then. Indeed, I was on summer holiday. Yes. Hoo. As I recall, I was about to start my new part-time job. You see, there was a bit of a mold problem with the library's books, wot. So, it was my duty to lay them out on the windowsill to dry in the sunlight. Hoo! The horror of it all... 'Twas on that job that I made a grievous error...
 * ("What'd you do?") Hoo. Very well. There are various specialized books in the university library... ...not to mention the reference books that rarely get read, eh wot? These books tend to get eaten by book lice and the like, you see... Now, bear in mind, I loathe insects. I was holding a book by a page's corner, but the weight of the tome proved too portly for the poor page... RRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIP...... I looked up, aghast, and the librarians' eyes were on me! Such shame... Such shame... I must say, I rather think the episode served to... Well, I believe it exacerbated my fear of creepy-crawlies. Hoo...

Episode 3 (Next Thursday)

 * Mrrrrgh...
 * (Player asks "What's wrong?") Hoo. To be quite honest... I was just mulling a bitter recollection from my past...
 *  ("Tell me!") Hoo. Yes. Ah. Indeed. Well. It happened back when I was still at university... My professor asked me to do a spot of work for him. He wished me to proctor the college entrance examination, eh wot? Yes, in any case, it was my job to hand out the test forms... And to foil cheaters, of course. A crucial job, to be sure, but quite easy. Or so I thought until, during the examination, something awful happened...
 * ("What?!") Hoo. Yes. The exam had begun, and all the students were working away... But the room began to get rather warm and stuffy, don't you know, so... Thinking it a capital idea to let some air in, I opened a window a tad. Hoo, what a tragic error! A single fly flew into the exam room... Vile thing. Ugh. I couldn't peel my eyes off the wretched creature as it flew around the room! That suffocating room... I stood, nearly molting, grinding my beak... After an eternity, the bell rang, as scheduled, and the exam was over... But the constant beak grinding had given me a cramp in my face muscles...
 * ("Long story!!!") Hoo my! My apologies! I shan't bore you with my stories any longer... I don't know what's gotten into me... I don't think of myself as being prone to bouts of homesickness...

Episode 1 (3rd Saturday of December)

 * Bah...
 * (Player asks "What's wrong?") Between you and me, I quite detest them. All of them! The bugs, I mean...
 * ("Conquer fear!") Well. Hm. Hoo. Indeed. Easier said than done, of course. Fear is rather robust... Everyone has strengths and weaknesses, eh wot? ...But I do suppose you have a point, after all. I'm making excuses. After all, I am the curator of the museum ! A noble office! Such dread is irrational! It's unprofessional! Who fears bugs, really? Well, to begin, I shall talk to my sister, Celeste, about this matter, wot? Oddly enough, she is rather comfortable touching them. Bugs, I mean... I've seen her gazing at butterflies before, completely relaxed.
 * ("They're cute!") They are most assuredly NOT cute!!! Have you gone quite mad?! Be truthful: have you ever looked really closely at a butterfly's belly? It appears quite squishy! It looks like it's waiting to spew something at you! Ugh! Vile...

Episode 2 (Next Wednesday)

 * Hrmph...
 * (Player asks "What's wrong?") You recall that I declared I'd work on conquering my fear of bugs, eh wot? Yes. Well, I've been doing my own special training!
 * ("Training?") The means to which I have resorted are quite extreme, really... Hoo. Yes. Indeed. Just thinking about it makes my belly burble, but... I lay my Giant Dictionary of Insects before me, fight my gag reflex, and... ...slowly run my talon over each of the foul images! Ugh... The thought alone of those furtive caresses makes my gorge rise! The other day, I opened the book to a close-up of a green caterpillar's face... I believe I may have pocket-retched a bit... Ugh. So very vile...

Episode 3 (Next Saturday)

 * Awwww...
 * (Player asks "What's wrong?") Yes. Hoo. About the training I'm doing to get over my fear of insects... Sadly, it's not working. Yesterday, I reclined on the floor with my bug book... The next thing I knew, my sister was waking me up! Yes. Hoo. I'd fainted...
 * ("Pitiful.") Yes...quite pitiful, indeed. To try so hard and still fail to overcome my fear! Rather humiliating, really. It reminds me of that night a few summers ago... 'Twas a moth, I believe, but a leviathan one about the size of your hand... his netherworld beast stormed into the museum in the dead of night! The flitting sound of its monstrous wings... Ugh. The very thought sickens me. I'm none too proud of it, but I fled to Brewster 's and sipped coffee... Yes. Indeed. I sipped coffee until I was sure that flittering brute was gone... I stayed until morning! Rather an eye-opening experience, eh wot!

Episode 4 (Next Tuesday)

 * Ooooh...
 * (Player asks "What's wrong?") It's been some time since I began trying to conquer my fear of insects... Indeed, TOO long! I must say, the lack of results has left me rather blue.
 * ("Really?") No trifling matter, this! I'll have you know, I have an important goal in mind! I'd very much like to take Celeste camping in the summertime, you see... Youths her age still tend to enjoy such activities, do they not? Yes. Well. In any case... I believe a night of camping is just the thing! I should think she'd rather enjoy that, wouldn't you say so?
 * ("Definitely") To be forthright, I owe her an enjoyable time. I've been a substandard brother... We go to the beach, I see a sea louse, and soon I'm covered in nerve-hives... We go hiking, I glimpse a common butterfly and need a week of therapy... ...When I think of the scenes I've made, I'm simply horrified for Celeste !

Episode 5 (Next Friday)

 * Hoooogh...
 * (Player asks "What's wrong?") Hoo. Yes. Well, I don't know quite how to put this, but my bug-fear training...... Well, I'm calling it quits on the entire regimen.
 * ("Why?") I shall tell you. Last night, I was gingerly perusing my bug dictionary... I imagine this will come as no surprise, but some vile image caused me to swoon... When I came to, there was Celeste caring for me. She said this to me: " Big brother, I have had quite enough. This madness must end this minute! " " Why, everyone has certain fears, certain things that one cannot abide. " " You detest bugs, Brother! And that is what makes you you! Got it? " ...I daresay they were the nicest words I'd ever heard. Hoo! Indeed, hootie hoo!
 * ("How nice!") It saddens me that I lack enough leisure time to dedicate to her, but... Even without brotherly guidance, Celeste has grown into a fine young lady... The pride I feel for my little sister... Well, it cannot be quantified, wot! You can scour the essays and dissertations of the world's academics, and I'm quite certain you'd fail to fide evidence of a superior sibling!

Episode 1 (2nd Wednesday of January)

 * Mabel: Ohhh... Oh! Gee, I'm so sorry! What can I help you with?
 * (Player asks "What's wrong?") Umm... Well, I was just.... Thing is, my sister has been such a space cadet lately... She always gets this way at this time of year... this part of winter. Are there colds that hit people at the exact same time of year, every year?
 * Sable: Ohhhh...
 * (Player asks "What happened?") Ohh, I'm sorry. I really am. I was spacing out a little bit, there. Please forgive me.

Episode 2 (Next Sunday)

 * Mabel: Ummm... Oh! How embarrassing! What do you need?
 * (Player asks "Troubles?") I just...wonder what's wrong. My sister's been acting so WEIRD lately! She sits there, staring out the window, sighing... You don't think it could be exhaustion, do you?
 * ("No way.") Not exhaustion, you think? You're probably right...
 * Sable: Ummm...
 * (Player asks "What's wrong?") Ohh, I was just thinking about something from my past... My far and distant past... Back when Tom Nook and I were much, much younger... I used to look up to him as though he was my older brother, you know. Now those days are just a fading memory for this old girl...

Episode 1 (4th Saturday of April)

 * Mabel: Hrrrm... Oh, wow! Wow, I'm so sorry! What can I do for you?
 * (Player asks "What's going on?") Ohh, it's just...... I wonder if anything can be done about what I call my sis's " city-folk complex "...
 * ("What is that?") I'm not sure when she first started showing signs of it, but it's part of her now. When it comes to people who moved here from the city, my sister can be COLD. It's not like she's blatantly rude to them or anything... It's her eyes... They're ice.


 * Sable: Ummm... You know that owl Blathers who works in the museum ? I was just thinking, I'll bet he really did move here from the big city...
 * (Player asks "How come?") I can just tell. I can tell that YOU weren't raised here, either, you know... I don't mean to offend you, I really don't! It's just in your mannerisms... And not to be a pill, but something about city folk just rubs me wrong...
 * ("How come?") Ohh! Well, there's no real reason, to be completely honest... I guess I just don't feel like I can trust them, do you know what I mean? They seem charming, but I get this feeling they're always watching the angles. Ummmm... I'm sorry. I know that I shouldn't say this because we live in the same town and all, but...''

Episode 2 (Next Wednesday)

 * Mabel: Hmmmmph... Oh! Where'd you come from? What brings you here?
 * (Player asks "What's up?") Well, um... The other night, Blathers, the museum guy, came running into the shop!
 * ("How come?") Hey, I wish I could tell you, because I don't have the slightest clue! One thing I can say, though, is that THAT was one seriously bugged-out owl! He was totally flustered, and he picked out all these women's clothes... I was all, like, WHOA! Who knew that he was into, you know, playing dress-up? Well, I, for one, had NO clue whatsoever!
 * Sable: ...Ohh, speak of the devil! Guess who came by the shop the other day? Yes, it was none other than Blathers himself!
 * (Player asks "Really?") I looked up from my work to see Blathers stagger in, looking all disheveled. " Wings! Legs! " he said, frothing at the mouth. " Ugh! Oh, vileness! " He was babbling about something, all in a tizzy. It only took me a second to figure out what was up. That owl must have run into a bug that he REALLY doesn't like... and just happened to be in front of my shop...
 * ("Really?") Yes, Blathers must've felt embarrassed because he began shopping feverishly! I didn't know if I should speak or not, but I couldn't help myself... "Excuse me, sir?" I said. "Those are women's clothes."
 * ("Hee hee hee!") You know, he was so mortified by the whole thing, it was adorable. I started thinking how silly it was of me to think of him as city folk. I must say, though, for anyone to fear bugs to the degree that he does... He's not a bad fellow, clearly, but his is a little bit...off.

Episode 3 (Next Saturday)

 * Mabel: Ugh... Oh! Whoops! Sorry! ...And you're here to...?
 * (Player asks "What's wrong?") You know, good things still DO happen in this world!
 * ("What?") The other day Blathers came by the shop to buy some clothes, right? Turns out, they weren't for him... They were for his younger sister, as a gift! Isn't that so dreamy? It'd be so cool to have an older bro like that... Then I could have him buy me anything I ever wanted... and more!
 * Sable: Ohhh, it might interest you to know that yesterday... Blathers came by here.
 * (Player asks "Again?") Ohhh, no no, he wasn't fleeing bugs this time! No, he was shopping just like anyone else. I don't know if you know, but Blathers has a sister much younger than himself. He came here to buy a gift for her...
 * ("How nice!") Yes, I thought it sweet. Mabel and I put our heads together... and we chose the biggest ribbon in the shop for that girl! I thought to myself, ohh, how nice to have a big brother like that... Up until then, I'd thought that all people from the city were just...different. You know, like they were a different breed than us. But now... I realize how very wrong I was in thinking that... No matter where you live, brothers are brothers, and sisters are sisters... The bonds that keep family close are the same no matter where you are!

Episode 1 (4th Thursday of November)

 * Pelly: Oh, dear...
 * (Player asks "What's up?") Phyllis has been really on edge lately... She's always chewing gum to keep from grinding her teeth! I ask her what's wrong, but she won't tell me... I wonder what in the world is bothering her... I'm really worried.
 * Phyllis: SNAP SNAP CRACK!
 * (Player asks "What the heck?") I'm sorry. How rude of me to be chewing gum at work. (But I'll do what I want!) I've just been so stressed out lately. Chewing gum is the only way I can deal with it! SNAP! (Ugh, that stupid boy...) 

Episode 2 (Next Monday)

 * Pelly: Oh, no...
 * (Player asks "What's going on?") My sister has been chewing a lot of gum lately. Even long after the flavor is gone, she still keeps chewing it...
 * ("Bad sign.") If that was all, I wouldn't be so worried, but on top of that... She doesn't spit her gum out when she's done. She just swallows it every time! I hate to be so indelicate, but at this rate, she's going to be blocked up... For the next seven years!
 * Phyllis: SNAP! CRAAAAACK!
 * (Player asks "Um, what?") Oh, it's my gum, isn't it? I'll spit it out right away! Ptwooie! (Ugh, what a waste!) 
 * ("What's wrong?!") ...What? What do you want?! Don't come in here acting like you're all superior! You just don't understand! We adults have our own problems and concerns. It's silly of me to think that you would understand! (You're just a child...) 

Episode 3 (Next Thursday)

 * Pelly: Oh, no...
 * (Player asks "What's going on?") My sister's been so stressed out that she chews gum all the time! So I got her a present to make her feel better...
 * ("What was it?") Sugarless peppermint gum! This way, no matter how much she chews, she won't gain weight, and more importantly, her teeth won't fall out of her head!
 * Phyllis: Chew POP chew SNAP chomp!
 * (Player asks "What flavor?") What? Oh... It's coffee-flavored gum. That's right! And it's sugarless! Kids hate it! Here, you want a piece or something? Oh yeah! I forgot. You're a kid and you wouldn't like it! (Ugh, kids...) 

Episode 4 (Next Sunday)

 * Pelly: Oh, dear...
 * (Player asks "What's wrong?") Well, the other day I got in a fight with Phyllis because she bad-mouthed poor Pete . I didn't think it was fair for her to call someone who is kind and honest "simply stupid" without a reason, so I told her off!
 * Phyllis: Ugh, this is so annoying...
 * (Player asks "Now what?") Well, my sister Pelly is absolutely gaga over this stupid boy... I've been trying to get her to change her mind, but she just won't listen. The way that it's going now, I might just end up looking like the bad guy! But it's not me! It's that stupid little boy! (Why, I oughta...)