Blathers/Conversations

March 10
Blathers: Pshhh... Player: What's wrong? Blathers: I should say, dear Brewster has provided me much entertainment over the years... It's not that the fellow is naive, per se, its just... Well... How to put this? Blathers: The wonderful pigeon is just rather simple. Player: Really? Blathers: Indeed, he is, though I don't mean to say he's daft... He's just innocent. Blathers: For instance, the other day, a sleazy business-type oozed into the café... This wretch was trying to sell Brewster a counterfeit piece of art! Hoo-rrific! "Real Coffee. Real Art. Real Profits. You'd be CRAZY to pass up this deal!" Blathers: Now of course, most folk would see right through such a charlatan... Not our pigeon, however. Thank goodness I showed up when I did, eh Wot! Blathers: Indeed, "FAKE!" I cried, and the cad fled from my pique-ruffled feathers!

October 1
Blathers: I say... Player: What's wrong? Blathers: I can't fathom why I'm telling you this but... Blathers: I really envy your youth, ... Yes. Hoo. Player: What's wrong?! Blathers: Well, when I was a nestling youth, it was my dream to become an archaeologist... Blathers: I wished to travel the world in search of fossils that no one had ever glimpsed... Blathers: Hoo! Especially dinosaur fossils. To me, they were the ultimate find... Blathers: What's that? Blathers: I should be content looking at fossils here, you say? Blathers: Ah. Hoo. Well, .... You see, to a true fossil connoisseur, the joy of fossil hunting lies more in the search than in the find, eh wot? Player: Well, good luck! Blathers: Hmmph! Blathers: ...Hoo, I say! Indeed, hootie hoo, ! Blathers: I daresay I should take your comment just now... as a challenge, wot? Blathers: Yes. Hoo. Indeed... Blathers: Done! Without further delay, starting today, and every day forthwith... Blathers: I shall find the time to do some fieldwork of my own! Sound the trumpets, hoo! Blathers: You shall just have to wait and see what I can find, !

December 20
Blathers: Bah... Player: What's wrong? Blathers: Between you and me, I quite detest them. All of them! The bugs I mean... Player: Conquer fear! Blathers: Well. Hm. Hoo. Indeed. Easier said than done, of course. Fear is rather robust... Everyone has strengths and weaknesses, eh wot? ...But I do suppose you have a point, after all. I'm making excuses. After all, I am the curator of the (town's name) museum! A noble office! Such dread is irrational! It's unprofessional! Who fears bugs, really? Well, to begin, I shall talk to my sister, Celeste, about this matter, wot? Oddly enough, she is rather comfortable touching them. Bugs, I mean... I've seen her gazing at butterflies before, completely relaxed. Player: They're cute! Blathers: They are most assuredly NOT cute!!! Have you gone quite mad?! Be truthful: have you ever looked really closely at a butterfly's belly? It appears quite squishy! It looks like it's waiting to spew something on you! Ugh! Vile...

December 24
Blathers: Hrmph... Player: What's wrong? Blathers: You recall that I declared I'd work on conquering my fears of bugs, eh wot? Yes. Well, I've been doing my own special training! Player: Training? Blathers: The means to which I have restored are quite extreme, really... Hoo. Yes. Indeed. Just thinking about it makes my belly burble, but... I lay my Giant Dictionary of Insects before me, fight my gag reflex, and... slowly run my talon over each of the foul images! Ugh.. The thought alone of those furtive caresses makes my gorge rise! The other day, I opened the book to a close-up of a green caterpillar's face... I believe I may have pocket-retched a bit... Ugh. So very vile...

December 29
Blathers: Ooooh... Player: What's wrong? Blathers: It's been some time since I began trying to conquer my fear of insects... Blathers: Indeed, TOO long! I must say, the lack of results... has left me rather blue. Player: Really? Blathers: No trifling matter, this! I'll have you know, I have an important goal in mind! Blathers: I'd very much like to take Celeste camping in the summertime, you see... Blathers: Youths her age still tend to enjoy such activities, do they not? Blathers: Yes. Well. In any case... I believe a night of camping is just the thing! Blathers: I should think she'd rather enjoy that, wouldn't you say so? Player: Definitely! Blathers: To be forthright, I owe her an enjoyable time. I've been a substandard brother... Blathers: We go to the beach, I see a sea louse, and soon I'm covered in nerve-hives... Blathers: We go hiking, I glimpse a common butterfly and need a week of therapy... Blathers: ...When I think of the scenes I've made, I'm simply horrified for Celeste!