Episode/Wild World dialogue

Blathers

Series 1

Episode 1 (1st Sunday of April)

• Pshhhh...
  • (Player asks "What's wrong?") I should say, dear Brewster has provided me much amusement over the years... It's not that the fellow is naive, per se, it's just... Well... How to put this?... That wonderful pigeon is just rather simple.
    • ("Really?") Indeed, he is, though I don't mean to say he's daft... He's just...innocent. For instance, the other day, a sleazy business-type oozed into the cafe... This wretch was trying to sell Brewster a counterfeit piece of art! Hoo-rrific! "Real coffee. Real art. Real profits. You'd be CRAZY to pass up this deal!" ...Now, of course, most folk would see right through such a charlatan... Not our pigeon, however. Thank goodness I showed up when I did, eh wot! Indeed, "FAKE!" I cried, and the cad fled from the pique-ruffled feathers!

Episode 2 (Next Thursday)

• Uuuurgh...
  • (Player asks "What's wrong?") No, no, pay me no mind. I believe I'm just a touch on the drowzy side... If you think about it, I keep this place open day and night, 24 hours... It's no lovely park stroll! Rather a ferocious work schedule, eh wot?
    • ("Incredibly!") But, then, it is my duty, so I try not to admit fatigue or clamor for vacation. And if you care to know a bit of a naughty secret, when the museum is empty... I go downstairs for a cup of coffee and a wee break, hoo! Oh, such naughtiness! Ah. Yes. Hoo. Indeed. Delectable... All this talking has got me thinking about how simply glorious a cup would taste! That bitter aroma that hits you as soon as you set foot in the shop... Hoo! Indeed, hootie hoo! A cup of java would truly hit the spot, wot wot!

Episode 3 (Next Sunday)

• Muhhhh...
  • (Player asks "What's wrong?") Well, I've been dealing with a rather nasty bit of insomnia lately... Could I perhaps have been drinking too much coffee?
    • ("Probably...") Hoo. Yes. You have a point. In coffee, there is a substance called caffeine... And in caffeine, there are stimulants which awaken your senses, wot wot! That said, my usual is a heady blend which includes Brewster's special... ..."Pigeon Milk"! Just brilliant stuff, that! It counteracts stimulants and actually relaxes, wot! Yes. Indeed. Hoo. Ultimately, the subtle yin and yang of the two give me balance! Hoo? I beg your pardon? You think that means... They cancel each other out? So it wouldn't matter if I drank it or not? Hoo. Yes. Ah. Hm. Indeed. Why on earth AM I drinking that stuff, anyway?

Episode 4 (Next Wednesday)

• Ahhhh...
  • (Player asks "What's wrong?") Actually, I was just thinking about the very day that Brewster and I met...
    • ("Tell me!") Well, Brewster and I met in a town far from here...in my hometown, in fact... 'Twas on the outskirts of fowntown, in the shadows of its towering skyscrapers... He owned and operated a cafe, much like the one in this museum, wot wot!
      • ("Tell me more!") Crave the details, do you? Perhaps I should tell you what brought us together... I was still very young at the time, just a spring owl attending university. I was working towards a deadline on my thesis and having a rough time of it. I went all over town, from cafe to cafe, writing in an absolute furor, but... I still couldn't complete it. With each passing day, I became more frustrated. And then, as I descended into madness...the owner of the cafe said to me...
        • ("What? WHAT?!") "There's nothing more bitter or tragic than a rushed cup of coffee." Just a simple comment, really. But it struck me to my very core, wot! It cut through the pall of anger and opened my eyes to what I was doing. Making coffee is more than just pouring hot water over grounds, you see. It's about taking one's time to coax the flavor from the savory beans... A thesis is the same way. He taught me that my brain was like his coffee beans! Yes. Hoo. You've guessed it. That barista was none other than Brewster himself, wot! And that is how our long and deep-rooted friendship began! Hootie hoo!

Episode 5 (Next Saturday)

• Mmmmph...
  • (Player asks "What's wrong?") Well... To be quite honest, I was just revisiting my past a bit...
    • ("What part?") Yes. Hoo. I was thinking about Brewster, who owns the cafe downstairs. Well, when he lived in my hometown, he had a bit of a rough life, you see... Compared to this town, it was a gargantuan city, and you know bit-city life... Land was savagely expensive, and taxes astronomical... ...and dear Brewster was having a hard time making ends meet at the shop!

Episode 6 (Next Tuesday)

• Ooh hoo...
  • (Player asks "What's wrong?") Well... I was just mulling over how Brewster used to be, once upon a time. It's in the past, so I think it's fine for me to share that he had it rough.
    • ("Really?") Like Brewster himself, his shops have always been solely about the coffee... But traditional coffee cafes don't draw customers like they once did... And those in the city that try to attract hipsters have it even harder, wot! Because he was having a hard time filling the seats, he was financially pressed. At the time, he even considered closing up shop and turning in his apron...
      • ("Poor thing.") Poor thing, indeed! Hoo! When I got wind of dear Brewster's predicament... Why, I knew I had to do something! I promptly dashed off a letter... I offered him one of the museum's rooms, free of charge, of course... But only if he agreed to move to <town name>, start a new shop and a new life!
        • ("He agreed?") ...Indeed! You can see what he thought of the idea! And business is booming! Oh, you can't swing a net in the city without hitting the coffee shop nowadays... ...but in <town name>, it's still a bit of a rare treat, eh wot? I should say so! That pigeon loves coffee more than life itself, and he shares that love! Indeed, Brewster is what I would call a luminary of luscious lattes, wot!

Series 2

Episode 1 (4th Sunday of May)

• Hooo...
  • (Player asks "What's wrong?") Ah. Yes. Were you aware that at this museum, we have our own coffeehouse?
    • ("I know!") We weren't always so lucky to have a shop here, but I had a clear vision, wot! I desired to get more <town name> residents to come to the museum... So I called my good friend Brewster, and he moved with all speed! Yes, hoo! He opened his shop right here in this museum, wouldn't you know! And ever since, even people who never knew where the museum was came in force! Indeed, they became regulars, wot! And now business rather booms! I must say, for me, the whole experience has been most uplifting...
      • ("What's wrong?") Well... Sadly, we've noticed an increasing number of... undesirables as well. Yes. In fact, just the other day we had a rather odd guest darken our door. 'Twas a Saturday, and yet this fellow wore a very hot-looking business suit. Yes. Yes, he was rather relentless with his queries as well... He even went so far as to ask me some quite personal questions, eh wot? If I'm to be honest, I must admit I tired of these questions quickly. Yes... In the end, the cheeky chap asked if I had insurance and if I wanted to sign up! Why, that tore it! I lost my temper and threw the lout out! The nerve... This is a museum, I said! Why couldn't he glean that simple fact and be gone?!

Episode 2 (Next Thursday)

• Hrrm...
  • (Player asks "What's wrong?") Yes. Ah. Well. I believe I'd mentioned before that since opening the cafe... we've seen an increase in the number of rather odd customers at the museum... Yes, well, I believe we saw one of the more extreme cases the other day.
    • ("Tell me more!") Yes. Hoo. Well. At first glance, he appeared to be a driver or a pilot... Ah, yes! The fellow was with a woman, as well, I recall. ...Hoo, indeed, this fellow was of a rather arrogant bent, eh wot? The type that might enjoy fisticuffs with other men.
      • ("Hmm...") Yes. Hm. Well. In any case, that livery-looking fellow roamed around... He'd plant himself before each of the exhibits and start ranting, wot? Such madness this chap spewed! "This painting be o' the Chowder era." "This be the ancestor o' the modern-day shrimp." Filthy lies, all of them... And in such a lowbrow dialect, as well! Merely watching him pained me. The truly sad part is, I suspect the cretin actually believed he was right...

Episode 3 (Next Sunday)

• Hoo hooo...
  • (Player asks "What's wrong?") Hoo, mercy... Another odd customer paid us a visit the other day...
    • ("Really?") 'Twas a lady, elegant and refined. Almost certainly hailing from the big city. Yes. Hoo. Rather more refined than anyone from <town name>, I thought... Ah! Hoo! No, no! Forgive me, please! I would never insinuate that the residents of this town are uncouth! Not at all! Yes. Hoo. I just meant that this lady was refined like aged Stilton, you see...
      • ("I see...") What... What of it?! Your accusing eyes strike me to the very core! I assure you, I am NOT smitten with this lovely bewitching older woman! ...Uh-hoo?! I meant not one word! Yes! You've tied my tongue! This is all your fault! Yes... Anyhoo, to have a woman of such lofty, dare I say angelic, calibre... To have such a creature visit our humble museum... Well, hootie hoo, I say! As curator of this museum, I was ever so honored!

Episode 4 (Next Wednesday)

• Hrmm...
  • (Player asks "What's wrong?") Yes. Hm. Hoo. Well. Indeed. We had another unusual guest the other day...
    • ("How strange...") Actually, I'm getting rather used to this strange bunch at this point... Even so, it's safe to say that this last guest takes the cake, eh wot? This chap had his helmet pulled down and his brow furrowed in consternation. Apropos of nothing, he all of a sudden declared... "Don't get a big head!" Well, suffice to say, I had no idea what the bloke meant, so I merely started. The chap had not finished... "There's but one reason you became curator," he said. "You are curator because your parents worked their wings to the bone!" "You know this! And so you should at least write your parents once a week!" ...Hoo! The audacity of some people! Honestly! It boggles the mind!
      • ("Did you write?") Indeed, I did write them. I wrote them that very same day, in fact. Hoo! But the identity of that unknown nagger remains a mystery to me... Ah! And, on his way out, he put his thumb betwixt my shoulder blades and said: "And always brush before you go to bed!" Rather bizarre, eh wot? What wonders the world produces, hoo!

Series 3

Episode 1 (2nd Thursday of July)

• Hooo...
  • (Player asks "What's wrong?") Ah. Hoo. I was just thinking about my hometown... Not that this old bird is homesick, mind you... But there are certain times when I yearn for the neon lights of the big city...
    • ("Really?") Hoo? What times, you ask? Well, it relates to my university years, you see... At the behest of my professor, I often stayed late in the laboratory... So, rather than a flat as I worked on my master's, I lived with my parents. Then I started working on my doctorate, of course... Yes, STARTED, hoo...
      • ("Didn't finish?") No, not as such... You see, one day, my professor approached me with an idea. He spoke of plans in the offing to build a museum in this town. They were having a most difficult time filling the curator position... 'Twas my understanding that no one from the main Farway Museum would move... And sadly, they were unable to fill the position with local talent... So, they asked the person heading up the project to find a good fit, wot! And that good fit was none other than yours truly! And so it went, hoo!
        • ("So that means...") Yes. Well, the timing was perfect... I'd just received my curator's license, and before I knew it, I was the newest resident of dear old <town name>! And the rest, as they say, is history, wot wot! Don't misunderstand, it's not as though I regret moving here! Not one jot! It's just that I can't help but get a wee bit nostalgic at times!

Episode 2 (Next Monday)

• Hrrrgh...
  • (Player asks "What's wrong?") Ah. Yes. Hoo. I was...merely reminiscing again...
    • ("Tell me!") I suppose I was still at university then. Indeed, I was on summer holiday. Yes. Hoo. As I recall, I was about to start my new part-time job. You see, there was a bit of a mold problem with the library's books, wot. So, it was my duty to lay them out on the windowsill to dry in the sunlight. Hoo! The horror of it all... 'Twas on that job that I made a grievous error...
      • ("What'd you do?") Hoo. Very well. There are various specialized books in the university library... ...not to mention the reference books that rarely get read, eh wot? These books tend to get eaten by book lice and the like, you see... Now, bear in mind, I loathe insects. I was holding a book by a page's corner, but the weight of the tome proved too portly for the poor page... RRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIP...... I looked up, aghast, and the librarians' eyes were on me! Such shame... Such shame... I must say, I rather think the episode served to... Well, I believe it exacerbated my fear of creepy-crawlies. Hoo...

Episode 3 (Next Thursday)

• Mrrrrgh...
  • (Player asks "What's wrong?") Hoo. To be quite honest... I was just mulling a bitter recollection from my past...
    • ("Tell me!") Hoo. Yes. Ah. Indeed. Well. It happened back when I was still at university... My professor asked me to do a spot of work for him. He wished me to proctor the college entrance examination, eh wot? Yes, in any case, it was my job to hand out the test forms... And to foil cheaters, of course. A crucial job, to be sure, but quite easy. Or so I thought until, during the examination, something awful happened...
      • ("What?!") Hoo. Yes. The exam had begun, and all the students were working away... But the room began to get rather warm and stuffy, don't you know, so... Thinking it a capital idea to let some air in, I opened a window a tad. Hoo, what a tragic error! A single fly flew into the exam room... Vile thing. Ugh. I couldn't peel my eyes off the wretched creature as it flew around the room! That suffocating room... I stood, nearly molting, grinding my beak... After an eternity, the bell rang, as scheduled, and the exam was over... But the constant beak grinding had given me a cramp in my face muscles...
        • ("Long story!!!") Hoo my! My apologies! I shan't bore you with my stories any longer... I don't know what's gotten into me... I don't think of myself as being prone to bouts of homesickness...

Series 5

Episode 1 (3rd Saturday of December)

• Bah...
  • (Player asks "What's wrong?") Between you and me, I quite detest them. All of them! The bugs, I mean...
    • ("Conquer fear!") Well. Hm. Hoo. Indeed. Easier said than done, of course. Fear is rather robust... Everyone has strengths and weaknesses, eh wot? ...But I do suppose you have a point, after all. I'm making excuses. After all, I am the curator of the <town name> museum! A noble office! Such dread is irrational! It's unprofessional! Who fears bugs, really? Well, to begin, I shall talk to my sister, Celeste, about this matter, wot? Oddly enough, she is rather comfortable touching them. Bugs, I mean... I've seen her gazing at butterflies before, completely relaxed.
      • ("They're cute!") They are most assuredly NOT cute!!! Have you gone quite mad?! Be truthful: have you ever looked really closely at a butterfly's belly? It appears quite squishy! It looks like it's waiting to spew something at you! Ugh! Vile...

Episode 2 (Next Wednesday)

• Hrmph...
  • (Player asks "What's wrong?") You recall that I declared I'd work on conquering my fear of bugs, eh wot? Yes. Well, I've been doing my own special training!
    • ("Training?") The means to which I have resorted are quite extreme, really... Hoo. Yes. Indeed. Just thinking about it makes my belly burble, but... I lay my Giant Dictionary of Insects before me, fight my gag reflex, and... ...slowly run my talon over each of the foul images! Ugh... The thought alone of those furtive caresses makes my gorge rise! The other day, I opened the book to a close-up of a green caterpillar's face... I believe I may have pocket-retched a bit... Ugh. So very vile...

Episode 3 (Next Saturday)

• Awwww...
  • (Player asks "What's wrong?") Yes. Hoo. About the training I'm doing to get over my fear of insects... Sadly, it's not working. Yesterday, I reclined on the floor with my bug book... The next thing I knew, my sister was waking me up! Yes. Hoo. I'd fainted...
    • ("Pitiful.") Yes...quite pitiful, indeed. To try so hard and still fail to overcome my fear! Rather humiliating, really. It reminds me of that night a few summers ago... 'Twas a moth, I believe, but a leviathan one about the size of your hand... his netherworld beast stormed into the museum in the dead of night! The flitting sound of its monstrous wings... Ugh. The very thought sickens me. I'm none too proud of it, but I fled to Brewster's and sipped coffee... Yes. Indeed. I sipped coffee until I was sure that flittering brute was gone... I stayed until morning! Rather an eye-opening experience, eh wot!

Episode 4 (Next Tuesday)

• Ooooh...
  • (Player asks "What's wrong?") It's been some time since I began trying to conquer my fear of insects... Indeed, TOO long! I must say, the lack of results has left me rather blue.
    • ("Really?") No trifling matter, this! I'll have you know, I have an important goal in mind! I'd very much like to take Celeste camping in the summertime, you see... Youths her age still tend to enjoy such activities, do they not? Yes. Well. In any case... I believe a night of camping is just the thing! I should think she'd rather enjoy that, wouldn't you say so?
      • ("Definitely") To be forthright, I owe her an enjoyable time. I've been a substandard brother... We go to the beach, I see a sea louse, and soon I'm covered in nerve-hives... We go hiking, I glimpse a common butterfly and need a week of therapy... ...When I think of the scenes I've made, I'm simply horrified for Celeste!

Episode 5 (Next Friday)

• Hoooogh...
  • (Player asks "What's wrong?") Hoo. Yes. Well, I don't know quite how to put this, but my bug-fear training...... Well, I'm calling it quits on the entire regimen.
    • ("Why?") I shall tell you. Last night, I was gingerly perusing my bug dictionary... I imagine this will come as no surprise, but some vile image caused me to swoon... When I came to, there was Celeste caring for me. She said this to me: "Big brother, I have had quite enough. This madness must end this minute!" "Why, everyone has certain fears, certain things that one cannot abide." "You detest bugs, Brother! And that is what makes you you! Got it?" ...I daresay they were the nicest words I'd ever heard. Hoo! Indeed, hootie hoo!
      • ("How nice!") It saddens me that I lack enough leisure time to dedicate to her, but... Even without brotherly guidance, Celeste has grown into a fine young lady... The pride I feel for my little sister... Well, it cannot be quantified, wot! You can scour the essays and dissertations of the world's academics, and I'm quite certain you'd fail to fide evidence of a superior sibling!

Mabel and Sable

Series 1

Episode 1 (2nd Wednesday of January)

• Mabel: Ohhh... Oh! Gee, I'm so sorry! What can I help you with?
  • (Player asks "What's wrong?") Umm... Well, I was just.... Thing is, my sister has been such a space cadet lately... She always gets this way at this time of year... this part of winter. Are there colds that hit people at the exact same time of year, every year?
• Sable: Ohhhh...
  • (Player asks "What happened?") Ohh, I'm sorry. I really am. I was spacing out a little bit, there. Please forgive me.

Episode 2 (Next Sunday)

• Mabel: Ummm... Oh! How embarrassing! What do you need?
  • (Player asks "Troubles?") I just...wonder what's wrong. My sister's been acting so WEIRD lately! She sits there, staring out the window, sighing... You don't think it could be exhaustion, do you?
    • ("No way.") Not exhaustion, you think? You're probably right...
• Sable: Ummm...
  • (Player asks "What's wrong?") Ohh, I was just thinking about something from my past... My far and distant past... Back when Tom Nook and I were much, much younger... I used to look up to him as though he was my older brother, you know. Now those days are just a fading memory for this old girl...

Episode 3 (Next Wednesday)

• Mabel: Mmmmph... Oh! Sorry! I'm sorry. What are you here for?
  • (Player asks "What's up?") Ohh, I was just... thinking about what to make for dinner tomorrow! Looks like it'll be cold, and Sis has been acting kinda blue, so... I'm gonna make stew! Winter's the perfect time for comfort food!
• Sable: Ohhhh... How long? How long does Tom Nook plan to cling to such ancient history...
  • (Player asks "What happened?") Oh, haven't you heard me talking about my childhood, <player name>? About how Tom Nook and I were friends as kids...
    • ("You were?") Ohh! I guess I never have you, huh? Oops... I'm so sorry. If I had known, I wouldn't have said anything...

Episode 4 (Next Saturday)

• Mabel: Oh, gee... Oh! Hey, I'm sorry. What can I do for you?
  • (Player asks "What's wrong?") It's just...my sis said something to me the other day that weirded me out. "You're lucky you're still young," she said... I mean, part of me is like, sure, whatever, I seem like a kid to my sis, but... There's something about her saying such a thing that... Well, it worries me.
• Sable: Ohhhh... Ohh! I'm so sorry! I was just reminiscing about the past a bit. Mm, a past that, when I was young, included Tom Nook...
  • (Player asks "Tell me!") Well, ummm, OK... Both of us were born here in <town name>, but... Tom Nook has always said, "This town isn't big enough for me and my vision, hm?" It had become like a catchphrase for him...
    • ("Sounds like him.") Yes, Tom Nook's dream was to get out of this town and hit it big in the city... Once he left this town, I didn't hear anything from him for a while. That is, until right around this of year, I got a letter from a distant city. When I think about the way Tom Nook was back then, it chills my heart. I bet he was lonely in the cold January weather... and the cold, careless city. There's something amazing about the passion of youth and its power to sustain. If there's a more powerful energy source, I don't know about it...

Episode 5 (Next Tuesday)

• Mabel: Pssshh... Oh! Oh, wow, I'm sorry. What can I help you with?
  • (Player asks "Talk to me!") Well, so, there's this cedar box that my sis keeps all her treasures in, right? And she's never showed me what was inside that thing. Not even once! But then, this one time, long ago, I saw the front of what looked like... and important letter. At least, that's what I THOUGHT it was...
• Sable: You surely know that young Tom Nook left <town name> for a while... Well, the first letter I got from him arrived at just around this time of year... The other day, before bed, I pulled that letter out... and just looked at it.
  • (Player asks "What'd it say?") Tee hee! It was adorable! Sure, the handwriting was a little messy, but... You could hear his determination in every word of that perfect letter... Sweet, young Tom Nook... His call to arms, his ethos, was "Dreams before money!" He was so pure that people wondered if he'd survive this crazy old world. I did, too. Every night, before falling asleep, I would wish for him... "Please keep Tom Nook's pure spirit protected," I'd whisper to the darkness. "Keep him safe from the apathy that breeds in the alleys of the big city...."

Episode 6 (Next Friday)

• Mabel: Hoo boy... Oh! Whoops! Sorry! What brings you here?
  • (Player asks "How are things?") Yeah, so, there's this pair of scissors that my sis had been using forever, right? When they got too dull to use, I said she should buy a new pair, but... It was the weirdest thing! When I did, she completely flipped out at me! I know it's important to take care of your things, but...that's rediculous!
• Sable: <player name>, I don't know why I've told you so much about Tom Nook and I... All those memories of our shared youth must bore you. Please forgive me.
  • (Player asks "Tell me more!") ...Ohh, OK, if you insist. The Tom Nook that left town for the big city... He sent me letters quite frequently, actually. One day, I received a wooden box, not a letter... When I opened it, I was absolutely astonished!
    • ("A ring?!") Ohhh, goodness, no! Are you kidding?! <player name>, I think you've been watching too many made-for-TV movies! ...Ohh, I'm so sorry. Heh, I didn't mean to snap. That just took me off guard. No, inside the box there was a pair of fancy. burnt-orange colored... Scissors! Incredibly strong and sharp scissors! The finest scissors I'd ever laid eyes on...
      • ("Tell me more!") The enclosed letter said, "Happy birthday, Sable!" ...So...sweet. At the time, I was so busy that I'd even forgotten it was my birthday. To think that Tom Nook had remembered it... I'm sure life was hard for Tom Nook in the city during that time... I know his job paid poorly, so for him to buy those scissors for me... When I think about it, well, it makes me so happy that I cry!

Episode 7 (Next Monday)

• Mabel: Argh... Oh! Hey, look, I'm sorry. What can I help you with?
  • (Player asks "What happened?") Well, lately, at night, my sis has been sitting at the window, staring at the sky. She says that in winter, a certain constellation becomes visible... It's kinda weird, the stuff my sis knows a lot about... You know, constellations and the meaning of flowers, that kinda stuff...
• Sable: ...Ohhh, really, <player name>? You want to hear about my memories again? I'm warning you, not all my memories are fond ones, you know...
  • (Player asks "Really?") Well, we shared a lot of good times, Tom Nook and I. Before there was an observatory in dear old <town name>... We used to climb up to the roof when we wanted to look at the stars... Ohh, yes! We even made constellations together, I remember! I made one that looked like a T-shirt that I called the "Star Shirt"... Tom Nook's looked like one of those old-time markets. He called it... "The Farmer's Market Bargain Bin Constellation." Ohh, that takes me back...
    • ("Nice story.") Yes, it is... Shortly after that, Tom Nook moved to the big city... Yes, he left to chase his dreams... When he returned to <town name>, he came back a totally different soul... I still believe that, if he just clung to those sweet memories like I do... he would have shaken off the heartsickness of those city years... Memories can be sad, but sometimes they can also save you...

Series 2

Episode 1 (4th Saturday of April)

• Mabel: Hrrrm... Oh, wow! Wow, I'm so sorry! What can I do for you?
  • (Player asks "What's going on?") Ohh, it's just...... I wonder if anything can be done about what I call my sis's "city-folk complex"...
    • ("What is that?") I'm not sure when she first started showing signs of it, but it's part of her now. When it comes to people who moved here from the city, my sister can be COLD. It's not like she's blatantly rude to them or anything... It's her eyes... They're ice.

• Sable: Ummm... You know that owl Blathers who works in the museum? I was just thinking, I'll bet he really did move here from the big city...
  • (Player asks "How come?") I can just tell. I can tell that YOU weren't raised here, either, you know... I don't mean to offend you, I really don't! It's just in your mannerisms... And not to be a pill, but something about city folk just rubs me wrong...
    • ("How come?") Ohh! Well, there's no real reason, to be completely honest... I guess I just don't feel like I can trust them, do you know what I mean? They seem charming, but I get this feeling they're always watching the angles. Ummmm... I'm sorry. I know that I shouldn't say this because we live in the same town and all, but...

Episode 2 (Next Wednesday)

• Mabel: Hmmmmph... Oh! Where'd you come from? What brings you here?
  • (Player asks "What's up?") Well, um... The other night, Blathers, the museum guy, came running into the shop!
    • ("How come?") Hey, I wish I could tell you, because I don't have the slightest clue! One thing I can say, though, is that THAT was one seriously bugged-out owl! He was totally flustered, and he picked out all these women's clothes... I was all, like, WHOA! Who knew that he was into, you know, playing dress-up? Well, I, for one, had NO clue whatsoever!
• Sable: ...Ohh, speak of the devil! Guess who came by the shop the other day? Yes, it was none other than Blathers himself!
  • (Player asks "Really?") I looked up from my work to see Blathers stagger in, looking all disheveled. "Wings! Legs!" he said, frothing at the mouth. "Ugh! Oh, vileness!" He was babbling about something, all in a tizzy. It only took me a second to figure out what was up. That owl must have run into a bug that he REALLY doesn't like... and just happened to be in front of my shop...
    • ("Really?") Yes, Blathers must've felt embarrassed because he began shopping feverishly! I didn't know if I should speak or not, but I couldn't help myself... "Excuse me, sir?" I said. "Those are women's clothes."
      • ("Hee hee hee!") You know, he was so mortified by the whole thing, it was adorable. I started thinking how silly it was of me to think of him as city folk. I must say, though, for anyone to fear bugs to the degree that he does... He's not a bad fellow, clearly, but his is a little bit...off.

Episode 3 (Next Saturday)

• Mabel: Ugh... Oh! Whoops! Sorry! ...And you're here to...?
  • (Player asks "What's wrong?") You know, good things still DO happen in this world!
    • ("What?") The other day Blathers came by the shop to buy some clothes, right? Turns out, they weren't for him... They were for his younger sister, as a gift! Isn't that so dreamy? It'd be so cool to have an older bro like that... Then I could have him buy me anything I ever wanted... and more!
• Sable: Ohhh, it might interest you to know that yesterday... Blathers came by here.
  • (Player asks "Again?") Ohhh, no no, he wasn't fleeing bugs this time! No, he was shopping just like anyone else. I don't know if you know, but Blathers has a sister much younger than himself. He came here to buy a gift for her...
    • ("How nice!") Yes, I thought it sweet. Mabel and I put our heads together... and we chose the biggest ribbon in the shop for that girl! I thought to myself, ohh, how nice to have a big brother like that... Up until then, I'd thought that all people from the city were just...different. You know, like they were a different breed than us. But now... I realize how very wrong I was in thinking that... No matter where you live, brothers are brothers, and sisters are sisters... The bonds that keep family close are the same no matter where you are!

Series 3

Episode 1 (4th Sunday of July)

• Mabel: Oh, boy... Oh, hi! Didn't see you there! Can I help you?
  • (Player asks "What's up?") It's just... I just can't BELIEVE the nerve of that Tom Nook! All he ever thinks about is money, money, money...
    • ("Ah ha ha ha!") Hey, what's your prob, <player name>? It's not funny! Stop laughing! That guy is such a total stickler when it comes to paying off your debt... As soon as the deadline has passed, he starts with the "Time is money, hm?" thing! And he's such a miser that he won't even spare you a single, measly Bell... I mean, we're his next-door neighbors here, not a pair of hobos! And he's well aware of how busy we are, so you'd think he'd cut us some slack!
• Sable: Ohhh... That Tom Nook... He's still hung up on what happened way back then... If I could, I would absolutely try to help him, but... I honestly have no idea what I could do...
  • (Player asks "You know him?") Huh? Ohhh, yes... Tom Nook and I virtually grew up together. I essentially know everything about him starting from childhood. We've grown apart a little as of late, but... When we were little, I used to thank of Tom Nook... ...as though he were my real big brother...

Episode 2 (Next Thursday)

• Mabel: Gosh... Oh, wow! Sorry about that! What brings you here?
  • (Player asks "Something wrong?") Ugh... I am just so annoyed with that Tom Nook. I mean, I thought I understood his obsession with money, but wow! Who knew that it was this serious?
    • ("What happened?") Yeah, well, the other day my older sis and I baked a cake, right? And we thought it might be nice to take a slice to ole Nook over there. And Nook... That killjoy. What do you think he said?! "How much do you expect for this slice of cake, hm?" ...Can you BELIEVE it?! I was just so disgusted that I didn't know what to say to him!
• Sable: I told you that Tom Nook and I have known each other since we were kids, right? Well, um... Actually...that's not the half of it. Since we were little, we've told each other our dreams and aspirations...
  • (Player asks "Really?") Ohh, yes. When we were small, Tom Nook used to say this all the time: "I'm going to build the biggest store in the world! See if I don't, hm?" Tee hee! It appears as though that part of him hasn't changed at all! Huh? Oh, stop, <player name>. Why would you care about MY dreams? Of course, I won't stop you from asking, but my reply will be pretty boring...
    • ("Tell me!") ...Ohhh... Ummmm... My dream is...ummmmmm... "to fill this town with the cutest clothes EVER!" Oops!!! ...I said it out loud! Ohh, I'm so embarrassed... Please don't tell anyone I told you that!

Episode 3 (Next Sunday)

• Mabel: Hmm... Oh! Whoopsy-daisy! What can I help you with?
  • (Player asks "What's up?") Hey, <player name>, don't you think ol' Nook has kinda lost sight of his dreams?
    • ("How come?") Well, it's like the other day, right? I ran into him in front of his shop. So we chatted a little bit, you know, just shooting the breeze about whatever. The I said something like, "You must be psyched that your shop's doing well!" ...And do you know what that guy said to me? "Because my shop is as big as it is, I always knew it would do well, hm? "In this world, those with money will always win in the end, yes?" ...UGH! I'm no airhead. I know you can't live off of your dreams alone, but... I know enough to know that money is NOT everything!
• Sable: Ohhh, hi, <player name>... Listen, could you please forget what I told you?
  • (Player asks "About what?") Ohh, then you already have! It was the story of when Tom Nook and I were kids. You know, when I think about it, that was when we were the most innocent...
    • ("What?") Ummm... Well, you see, when Tom Nook grew up... ...he left town and headed for the big city in pursuit of his dream. My... My parents passed away when I was young and... Well, I didn't have the kind of freedom that he did to expand my horizons. I was too busy raising Mabel and taking care of the shop, you understand? If I had a little more freedom during that period of my life... ...Well, never mind that. It's pointless for me to think about it now.

Episode 4 (Next Wednesday)

• Mabel: Phew... Oh! Gee whiz, I'm sorry! What can I do for you?
  • (Player says "Talk to me!") Well, I guess Tom Nook and my sis kinda have a history together...
    • ("Really?") Yeah, they both grew up in this town, so I guess it's not all that strange, but... Why do they act so distant all the time, then? Oh, you think something happened to drive a wedge between the two of them? I kinda wish my sis would stand up, look ol' Nook in the eye, and... ...just go OFF on him! You know? Just once...
• Sable: Ohhh... Um, <player name>? Remember what I told you about Tom Nook and me? I only told you part of the story, so I should probably tell you the rest.
  • (Player says "OK.") Ummm... Well, Tom Nook left <town name> for the big city, chasing his dream. I believe a few years passed before his return... I'd been busy raising my little sister, Mabel, of course... ...and making sure the shop stayed afloat. Then one day...Tom Nook returned. And he said not one word to anyone. Poor, poor Tom Nook... You could tell by looking at him how exhausted he was. I did everything I could to cheer him up, but he said... "Dreams are nothing in the face of money!" Those words had become a mantra to poor Tom Nook...
    • ("Tell me more!") ...From that moment on, Tom Nook and I started to grow apart. His smile started to return after a while, but... Ohhh... I just... I think he puts on a brave face to seem like the old Nook, but I just feel... I feel he still bears the scars of his time in the city, and they pain him... Anyway, Mabel was so young at the time, she doesn't quite recall how he used to be.

Pelly and Phyllis

Series 1

Episode 1 (2nd Saturday of March)

• Pelly: Sigh...
  • (Player asks "What is it?") <player name>, have you ever been in love? I think love starts unexpectedly. Yes, it always starts from some seemingly meaningless thing...
    • ("What happened?") Oh, well... This morning Pete came up to me and said, "Oh, hey! Good morning!" That's right! He noticed me and said hi! Usually all he says is "Mornin'." So what do you think it means? Could it be? Maybe Pete...?
• Phyllis: AAAAAAAAUUUURRRGH!
  • (Player asks "What's wrong?") Well... My younger sister Pelly has been driving me completely nuts! She has absolutely no taste in men! (No, I'm totally serious!) But then again, all these stupid boys coming around might be my fault! I'd spent so long swatting them away... Now they're back like bees! Pests!

Episode 2 (Next Wednesday)

• Pelly: Well, there's always next time...
  • (Player asks "What happened?") I'm talking about Pete... Next time! Next time, I'm sure he'll...
    • ("He's interested?") Do you really think so?! Well, if you think so, too, it could really be true! Think about it! The other day, I caught Pete staring at me... And then, when I looked at him, he turned away as fast as he could! This is the start of a romance! I'm sure of it!
• Phyllis: One of these days, I'm just going to snap!
  • (Player asks "What's wrong?") That idiot Pete asked me something (It really ticked me off!) "Are you and Pelly really sisters?" I can't believe he said that! So I yelled back at him "Give me a break! Everyone knows we're sisters!" And he just turned his head in disbelief and flew away. (Ugh, I swear...) One look, and it's obvious! We look exactly alike!

Episode 3 (Next Saturday)

• Pelly: Oh, no...
  • (Player asks "What's up?") Pete didn't say hi to me today... What am I going to do... Do you think I did something wrong? Or maybe I DIDN'T do something, and that's why Pete hates me...
• Phyllis: What do you get when you mix a stupid boy with an inexperienced girl?
  • (Player says "Tell me!") You're so nosy! Nothing! You get nothing! (You're so nosy!) Why do you bring those two up when I am at work and, you know, WORKING?! There's just something so wrong with that... (Stupid customers...)

Episode 4 (Next Tuesday)

• Pelly: Hee hee hee!
  • (Player asks "What's up?") Yay! I'm so happy because Pete said hi to me today! I don't think he hated me at all. I think that was just in my head. Tee hee... Well, I guess that's kind of obvious. Because I haven't really done anything yet...
• Phyllis: Give me a break...
  • (Player asks "What's wrong?") It's not that I want to interfere with Pelly's love life or anything. But I just know that if she were to get together with that stupid guy... there's no way that she would ever be happy! (I'm looking out for her!)
    • ("You're right!") But... I could never say anything that harsh to her. (She's so darn sensitive!) Ugh, I'm so tired of explaining! Why don't they get it?!

Episode 5 (Next Friday)

• Pelly: Hmm...
  • (Player asks "What is it?") I don't thing Phyllis is very fond of Pete. I don't know why either, because he's such a kind fellow... Phyllis is one of those people who's seven fiercer than she looks. I don't care what people thin, though. We're birds of a feather, so...
• Phyllis: I've got a dilemma here...
  • (Player asks "What's up?") Hypothetically, what do you think is the right thing for a gal to do? She could either end up with her stupid, but beloved, man... or choose option two, where the stupid guy continues to reject her...
    • ("I don't know.") Ugh! Why am I even asking you? You're just a kid! (You wouldn't get it!)

Episode 6 (Next Monday)

• Pelly: Hmm...
  • (Player asks "What's wrong?") I had a dream about Pete the other night... In my dream, we were on a date. But because the wind was so strong, I couldn't get to the top of the cloud. See, I was going to meet him there.
    • ("Tragic!") No, it's not! Because in my dream, I could fly! All I had to do was spread my wings, and there I was, on top of the cloud! A rendezvous in the clouds, just the two of us. ♪ Wow.... If I were only so bold in real life, my love wouldn't be just a one-way street.
• Phyllis: Fine!
  • (Player asks "What now?") Well, I've been thinking... Even though I think he's stupid, if she likes him that much, maybe I should just let it run its course... Maybe?
    • ("It's her life!") Well... Pelly's been talking in here sleep and she's all like, "Pete! Pete!" Hearing her say that makes me feel kind of... No, let me explain it another way. There's a part of me, while I know it's wrong, that likes to believe that as long as she's happy, that's all that matters... (Ugh! I'm such a sap!)

Series 2

Episode 1 (2nd Saturday of June)

• Pelly: Hmm...
  • (Player asks "What's wrong?") I just can't remember how it went... What? What went, you ask? Oh dear. I didn't mean to say this out loud. This has nothing to do with my job, which means I probably shouldn't be thinking about it while I'm on the clock... I'm so very sorry!
• Phyllis: Honestly!
  • (Player asks "What happened?") Well, Pelly's been exploring her creative side, and writing all the time. She comes up with these essays and poems that she wants to share with me. Honestly, I really don't get her stuff at all. (It's way too sentimental.) Well... Whatever makes her happy, I guess.

Episode 2 (Next Wednesday)

• Pelly: Um...
  • (Player asks "What's up?") Have you seen the poem "Talking to Myself" on the <town name> bulletin board?
    • ("Talking to myself?") I heard that it's becoming quite popular among the town's residents. It's anonymous, so I think people like that feeling of mystery. Hmm, mystery... The style is so simple you'd think someone would figure out who wrote it... Oh, but that's... Why am I even bothering you with this? I'm so very sorry!
• Phyllis: Oh, no!
  • (Player asks "What's wrong?") Have you ever seen the "Talking to Myself" poems on the bulletin board?
    • ("What's that?") Are you serious? It's the most visible place in town! How have you missed it? If you ask me, the reason people talk to themselves is because they are saying things that should be kept secret! (And you know I'm right!) I mean, really! If you want people to hear you so badly, just say it already!

Episode 3 (Next Saturday)

• Pelly: Ugh...
  • (Player asks What happened?") I've always been very shy and introverted. Even when I wanted to say something, I never could! Then I'd go home and be frustrated at myself for not speaking up.
    • ("Poor thing.") I'd do anything to stop being like this, but I was reading this book, and it said that many writers are the same way. While that made me feel better, at the same time, it made me really sad...
• Phyllis: I've been thinking lately......
  • (Player asks "What's up?") Pelly's always had her head in the clouds. She's a dreamer, that one is. She always carries a pad with her to write poetry. (I'm totally serious here.) Well, no, they're not exactly poems. I guess they're more dreams or aspirations...
    • ("Tell me more!") It's all, "Oh, suffocated love! I pine for you, but my scream is silent!" and melodramatic stuff like that! Oh, no! I shouldn't have told you that... Oh, no... Oh, no! (What have I done?!) You can't tell Pelly what I just said! I'm warning you, you'll be sorry if you do!

Episode 4 (Next Tuesday)

• Pelly: Oh, dear...
  • (Player asks "What's wrong?") The other day, I was going to find a time when no one was at the bulletin board. I was planning on writing something. But when I got there, I ran into Pete...
    • ("Tell me more!") My heart was racing, and I started pacing, not knowing what else to do! "N-nice day isn't it?!" That's all I could force myself to croak out! And Pete just stared at me with a blank look on his face... Oh, my. I'm such an idiot... Dumb, stupid Pelly strikes again...
• Phyllis: Ugh! I swear...
  • (Player asks "What's wrong?") Well, it's not like I get my jollies from butting into people's love lives, but as her older sister, it's my responsibility and my right to look out for her! I can't just let her fall for some stupid boy... (His hat is stupid, too!) Though I'm going to bet that it won't do any good... (Fine, then! It's her loss!)

Series 3

Episode 1 (4th Friday of June)

• Pelly: Well...
  • (Player asks "What's up?") Before I come to work, I like to stop by the Roost in the museum. I'll usually enjoy a nice cup of coffee to wake me up.
    • ("That's nice.") It might be because I've been staying up later, but... I've been having a really hard time getting up in the morning... Some days I have to choose whether to swipe my time card or get coffee first. It's like having a devil on one shoulder and an angel on the other. More often then not though, with me the devil usually doesn't win...
• Phyllis: Oh, well.
  • (Player asks "What's up?") Are you a coffee drinker? ('Cause I don't trust people who aren't!) Well, you should go to the Roost, 'cause they pour the best cup in town! They use only the purest water and the finest beans! (No muddy sludge there!) That way, the coffee always tastes rich and smells bold. That coffee is the reason I can pull these late-night shifts all the time!

Episode 2 (Next Tuesday)

• Pelly: Sigh...
  • ("Player asks "What's going on?") You know in the movies how couples often meet in coffee shops? I wish that would happen in real life. It's one of my dreams. I wonder if Pete doesn't like coffee or something? I've never seen him at the Roost. Not even once.
• Phyllis: Sheesh! Honestly!
  • (Player asks "What's wrong?") I can't believe the nerve of that Pete and his sweet tooth...
    • ("What happened?") I mean, I've heard of a sweet tooth, but he takes it way too far! I thought I would be nice and pour him a cup of instant coffee. Then, grinning like a moron, he proceeded to pour ten sugar packets in it! Ugh... It was more like coffee syrup or something when he was done with it! I feel sick just watching him. (Ugh... Total barf city.)

Episode 3 (Next Friday)

• Pelly: Oh, well...
  • ("Player asks "What's up?") The other day I asked Pete if he liked to drink coffee. I had a plan, you see. If he said yes, I thought I could ask him if he'd like to join me for a cup. But before I could put my brilliant plan into effect, he said... "Actually, I like hot cocoa better." Oh, I felt so very foolish! Even with his sweet tooth, Pete can be awfully unsweet sometimes...
• Phyllis: Urgle...
  • (Player asks "Feeling down?") The coffee I drank before my shift was a bit too bitter. It was my own fault for telling Brewster, "Make mine the bitter blend!" Because he went and did just that! ...But for the record, I drank the whole cup, without a drop of milk... 'Cause I don't want anyone lumping me together with that wimpy Pete!

Episode 4 (Next Monday)

• Pelly: How very strange...
  • (Player asks "What's wrong?") Ever since I found out that Pete doesn't like coffee, I don't go to the Roost much. It's just not very fun for me anymore.
    • ("Chin up!") But let me tell you, when I was feeling blue and sipping my coffee down there, Brewster walked up and gave me some odd advice... He said to me, "Rushing matters of the heart is counter-productive... "A good cup of coffee has the power to move men's hearts more than force..." On one hand, those words made me feel better. But on the other hand, part of me felt like I'd just watched a commercial. It was all very perplexing.
• Phyllis: Ugh! Unbelievable!
  • (Player asks "What's wrong?") I don't get it! Brewster said to me, "You two don't look alike at all..." What the HECK did he mean by that?! Cryptic weirdo. Ugh...I've always hated the strong, silent type! (Stupid flying rat!)

Series 5

Episode 1 (4th Thursday of November)

• Pelly: Oh, dear...
  • (Player asks "What's up?") Phyllis has been really on edge lately... She's always chewing gum to keep from grinding her teeth! I ask her what's wrong, but she won't tell me... I wonder what in the world is bothering her... I'm really worried.
• Phyllis: SNAP SNAP CRACK!
  • (Player asks "What the heck?") I'm sorry. How rude of me to be chewing gum at work. (But I'll do what I want!) I've just been so stressed out lately. Chewing gum is the only way I can deal with it! SNAP! (Ugh, that stupid boy...)

Episode 2 (Next Monday)

• Pelly: Oh, no...
  • (Player asks "What's going on?") My sister has been chewing a lot of gum lately. Even long after the flavor is gone, she still keeps chewing it...
    • ("Bad sign.") If that was all, I wouldn't be so worried, but on top of that... She doesn't spit her gum out when she's done. She just swallows it every time! I hate to be so indelicate, but at this rate, she's going to be blocked up... For the next seven years!
• Phyllis: SNAP! CRAAAAACK!
  • (Player asks "Um, what?") Oh, it's my gum, isn't it? I'll spit it out right away! Ptwooie! (Ugh, what a waste!)
    • ("What's wrong?!") ...What? What do you want?! Don't come in here acting like you're all superior! You just don't understand! We adults have our own problems and concerns. It's silly of me to think that you would understand! (You're just a child...)

Episode 3 (Next Thursday)

• Pelly: Oh, no...
  • (Player asks "What's going on?") My sister's been so stressed out that she chews gum all the time! So I got her a present to make her feel better...
    • ("What was it?") Sugarless peppermint gum! This way, no matter how much she chews, she won't gain weight, and more importantly, her teeth won't fall out of her head!
• Phyllis: Chew POP chew SNAP chomp!
  • (Player asks "What flavor?") What? Oh... It's coffee-flavored gum. That's right! And it's sugarless! Kids hate it! Here, you want a piece or something? Oh yeah! I forgot. You're a kid and you wouldn't like it! (Ugh, kids...)

Episode 4 (Next Sunday)

• Pelly: Oh, dear...
  • (Player asks "What's wrong?") Well, the other day I got in a fight with Phyllis because she bad-mouthed poor Pete. I didn't think it was fair for her to call someone who is kind and honest "simply stupid" without a reason, so I told her off!
• Phyllis: Ugh, this is so annoying...
  • (Player asks "Now what?") Well, my sister Pelly is absolutely gaga over this stupid boy... I've been trying to get her to change her mind, but she just won't listen. The way that it's going now, I might just end up looking like the bad guy! But it's not me! It's that stupid little boy! (Why, I oughta...)

Episode 5 (Next Wednesday)

• Pelly: She did it again!
  • (Player asks "What?! Tell me!") Well, the other day Phyllis and I got in a huge fight... It was the same thing we always fight about. She bad-mouthed Pete again. I just couldn't keep it in any longer...
    • ("What happened?") I shouted at her, "Phyllis! I know you're lonely because you don't have a love life! "But that doesn't mean you should butt into mine!" I didn't know I had it in me. Then Phyllis looked so depressed...and I felt really bad. I'm the worst sister in the world... I have to make things OK between us again!
• Phyllis: Sniff! Snort...
  • (Player asks "You crying?") N-no! I'm not crying! I've got allergies, that's all! (You're not heling 'em!) What? My mascara is runny, you say? (Ugh! Just leave me alone!) Shoo already! Don't you know it's rude to stare at people like that?

Episode 6 (Next Saturday)

• Pelly: Sigh...
  • (Player asks "What's going on?") The other day I made Phyllis so mad at me! I wanted to make it up to her, so I baked her a cake!
    • ("How nice!") I did it because she loves cake... I know we were both really upset, and we both said some harsh things, but in the end she said, "Now everything is back to the way it should be!" Like water under the bridge... She's so mature... She can face any kind of stress and stay cool as a cucumber! I could learn a lot from her. And if I do that, maybe Pete will notice me!
• Phyllis: Sigh...
  • (Player asks "What happened?") Don't you think the whole romance thing is so complicated? Bah, you wouldn't get it! You're still just a kid...
    • ("I understand!!!") Hmph! Well, if you're such an expert, what would you do in this situation? A stupid guy is after me, and I've had about as much as I can handle, and my little sister is in "love" with this same dumb guy... Doesn't thinking about that triangle make your head spin?
      • ("I feel dizzy!") There's no way in the world that I could tell Pelly... I honestly have no idea what I'm supposed to do! Darn it all! I wish he would just fly far away! (His flying stinks, though!)

Tom Nook

Series 1

Episode 1 (2nd Sunday of February)

• Psshhew... Oh mercy, I must offer my apologies! What can I do for you, hm?
  • (Player asks "What happened?") ...Young <player name>... I bet you think... ...that all I think about is money and how to make more of it, hm? Don't you?
    • ("Well, yeah.") Well, perhaps you're right... But I'm absolute, 100% OK with that, hm? Indeed! I like to think that it's my job to show you young people how hard life is! As an adult, it's my responsibility. It's my TRUE job, if you will, hm?

Episode 2 (Next Thursday)

• Hmm... Oh my, how very rude. Please accept my apology. What do you need, hm?
  • (Player asks "Feeling OK?") I know that I look like the very embodiment of a successful businessman... In my youth, however, I had my share of terrible mistakes, you know!
    • ("Really?") Yes, yes, that was a rough time for me... Accidents and mistakes are difficult to get over, hm? Yes, I lost more than money. I lost a friend... Worst of all, my passion faded, and that is a thing no man can live without. ...Listen up <player name>. "Easy" moneymaking schemes are NEVER easy, hm? If such a deal should present itself to you, I'd advise a quick retreat!

Episode 3 (Next Sunday)

• Ohhh... Oh, I'm awfully sorry! I was... Well, never mind. What can I do for you, hm?
  • (Player says "Talk to me!") My point is, <player name>... This town is laid-back and easy to live in. Life in the city is completely different... It's a scary place, yes? It's a place where, unless you have money, no one will give you the time of day... It's just as they say, hm? A concrete jungle!
    • ("Really?") Yes, yes, really. Assuredly! Take the big-city banks, for example... They will deny a young man a loan, though they know nothing of his character! But I'm smarter now, yes? I know that you must take the branch manager out! You must woo his financial instincts if you are to get him on your side, hm? Yes, yes, sadly, I lacked that knowledge when I was a young, naive racoon. In fact, I got so upset that I went on a tirade to end all tirades, hm? And the rest is history. Yes, yes, sad history... Back then, I was so very ignorant, hm? But such is the price of the passion of youth...

Episode 4 (Next Wednesday)

• Mmmmph... Oh me! Oh my! How rude of me! What can I help you with, hm?
  • (Player asks "What's up?") I told you about how, in my youth, I made that mistake in the city, yes? Well, I tell you such things so you don't have to go through the same trials. If you're going into business, be sure to do a little of everything, hm?
    • ("Why?") Well, I'll tell you! That way, you're diversified and risk less, yes? Having a wider focus has a downside, of course... Yes, yes, you've got a lot more to keep track of, hm? But imagine the alternative! When you're banking on one thing and it goes under... You lose everything, hm? A fate worse than death!
      • ("Oh, I get it.") Do you truly, <player name>? Well, then, here's what you must do... Expand your business only as far as you yourself can keep track of, yes? Trust no one! In this area, you can't hire someone to manage for you. The city is very scary, hm? Say you have someone you trust. Why, they might... They might be waiting for you to turn your back so they can take your assets! So, remember my words, hm? Expand your field only as far as you can manage... Though it sounds easy, it's not! And it's the crux of a good business!

Episode 5 (Next Saturday)

• Oh, mercy... Whoops! How very forgetful of me, yes? What can I do for you, hm?
  • (Player asks "What's wrong?") I wonder, <player name>... Do you know... ...the number-one reason friends become enemies?
    • ("No, what?") Well... It all starts with a small loan between pals. No matter how much you trust someone... ...you should never let a friend borrow money, hm? Unless you're willing to loan it to them assuming they'll never get it back, if a friend approaches you asking for help, you must be firm and say no!
      • ("All right, fine!") It sounds callous, but no! The longer you live, the more you'll understand... Even the most solid friendships become fragile when money is involved, hm? This is something that I learned firsthand when I was young. It's the truth!

Episode 6 (Next Tuesday)

• Grrrumph... Oh, I'm most awfully sorry! Please, I insist you tell me what I can do for you, yes?"
  • (Player asks "What happened?") ...Yes, yes, well... I told you about how I lost my dream in the cold heart of the big city, yes? Well, I should admit that in point of fact, that dream still exists...
    • ("Really") Yes, yes, it lives on, but I know better now... You can't live off of dreams alone, hm? In the end, what really matters is money... I know it's depressing, but it's the truth.
      • ("Uh...") Oh, I'm so very sorry! I started getting carried away, there, hm? I should know that a youth like you doesn't want to hear about MY youth... Yes, yes, I'm not going to talk about it anymore! If you would, do me a personal favor and forget I ever said anything, hm?

Series 2

Episode 1 (2nd Tuesday of May)

• Oh boy... Ah, please forgive me. What brings you here to my establishment, hm?
  • (Player asks "What happened?") ...You know Harriet, the hairdresser who recently moved into my store, yes? Well, just the other day, she said to me... "Nook, sugar, have you ever thought about changing your hairstyle just a skosh?"
    • ("AHHH ha ha ha!") Well, I never! How very rude of you! You may not believe this, since it's incredibly obvious to the naked eye... But I trim my hair every day, hm? Without fail! And on top of that, depending on how I feel that day, I customize it! Now, perhaps it might be a little too subtle for most people, but... That's how I express myself! It's where I let it all hang out, as they say, hm? Don't think I've not tried alternatives! This is the only style that suits me!

Episode 2 (Next Saturday)

• Oh me... Oh my! I couldn't be more sorry! What is it you need from me, hm?
  • (Player asks "What happened?") <player name>, it's all right to ask you something, yes? Do you happen to know what "petriperm" is?
    • ("Uh, a rock band?") Uh, no, I don't believe so. The other day, Harriet came up to me and said... "Nook, I bet you'd look absolutely scrumptious in a petriperm!" Well, <player name>? ...What do you think? A "petriperm"???
      • ("No idea.") I have no idea either, hm? When she asked me, I got panicky and said... "Oh, yes, yes, a petriperm. I had those all the time when I was younger!" ...Yes, yes, a blatant lie. I acted like I knew what it was, yes? Harriet just laughed... Petriperm! Petriperm... What in the world could that mean, hm? Ugh... Thinking about this is sure to steal sleep from me tonight!

Episode 3 (Next Tuesday)

• Oh dear... Oh dear, terribly sorry. Forgive my woolgathering. Can I help you, hm?
  • (Player asks "How've you been?") Well... You remember that word had us stumped, yes? I finally figured it out! I now know precisely what a "petriperm" is!
    • ("What?") Yes, yes, I'll tell you! A "petriperm" is... ...simply a shortened version of the term "petrified perm"!
      • ("Ah ha ha ha!") It's no laughing matter, hm? Do you even know what a petrified perm is? They take a very skinny curling iron and give you very tight curls, yes? The curls are firm as rock! Why, if I did that, I'd look like a circus clown! I'd be the laughing stock of the town, hm? They'd ask where my red nose was! Ugh... How mortifying, hm? They very thought makes me feel such humiliation... That Harriet... She probably knew I'd feel this way. That must be why she was laughing, hm? Ugh! I swear, I will never again play the fool for some big-city girl!