Episode/Wild World dialogue

Blathers

Series 1

Episode 1 (1st Sunday of April)

• Pshhhh...
  • (Player asks "What's wrong?") I should say, dear Brewster has provided me much amusement over the years... It's not that the fellow is naive, per se, it's just... Well... How to put this?... That wonderful pigeon is just rather simple.
    • ("Really?") Indeed, he is, though I don't mean to say he's daft... He's just...innocent. For instance, the other day, a sleazy business-type oozed into the cafe... This wretch was trying to sell Brewster a counterfeit piece of art! Hoo-rrific! "Real coffee. Real art. Real profits. You'd be CRAZY to pass up this deal!" ...Now, of course, most folk would see right through such a charlatan... Not our pigeon, however. Thank goodness I showed up when I did, eh wot! Indeed, "FAKE!" I cried, and the cad fled from the pique-ruffled feathers!

Episode 2 (Next Thursday)

• Uuuurgh...
  • (Player asks "What's wrong?") No, no, pay me no mind. I believe I'm just a touch on the drowzy side... If you think about it, I keep this place open day and night, 24 hours... It's no lovely park stroll! Rather a ferocious work schedule, eh wot?
    • ("Incredibly!") But, then, it is my duty, so I try not to admit fatigue or clamor for vacation. And if you care to know a bit of a naughty secret, when the museum is empty... I go downstairs for a cup of coffee and a wee break, hoo! Oh, such naughtiness! Ah. Yes. Hoo. Indeed. Delectable... All this talking has got me thinking about how simply glorious a cup would taste! That bitter aroma that hits you as soon as you set foot in the shop... Hoo! Indeed, hootie hoo! A cup of java would truly hit the spot, wot wot!

Episode 3 (Next Sunday)

• Muhhhh...
  • (Player asks "What's wrong?") Well, I've been dealing with a rather nasty bit of insomnia lately... Could I perhaps have been drinking too much coffee?
    • ("Probably...") Hoo. Yes. You have a point. In coffee, there is a substance called caffeine... And in caffeine, there are stimulants which awaken your senses, wot wot! That said, my usual is a heady blend which includes Brewster's special... ..."Pigeon Milk"! Just brilliant stuff, that! It counteracts stimulants and actually relaxes, wot! Yes. Indeed. Hoo. Ultimately, the subtle yin and yang of the two give me balance! Hoo? I beg your pardon? You think that means... They cancel each other out? So it wouldn't matter if I drank it or not? Hoo. Yes. Ah. Hm. Indeed. Why on earth AM I drinking that stuff, anyway?

Episode 4 (Next Wednesday)

• Ahhhh...
  • (Player asks "What's wrong?") Actually, I was just thinking about the very day that Brewster and I met...
    • ("Tell me!") Well, Brewster and I met in a town far from here...in my hometown, in fact... 'Twas on the outskirts of fowntown, in the shadows of its towering skyscrapers... He owned and operated a cafe, much like the one in this museum, wot wot!
      • ("Tell me more!") Crave the details, do you? Perhaps I should tell you what brought us together... I was still very young at the time, just a spring owl attending university. I was working towards a deadline on my thesis and having a rough time of it. I went all over town, from cafe to cafe, writing in an absolute furor, but... I still couldn't complete it. With each passing day, I became more frustrated. And then, as I descended into madness...the owner of the cafe said to me...
        • ("What? WHAT?!") "There's nothing more bitter or tragic than a rushed cup of coffee." Just a simple comment, really. But it struck me to my very core, wot! It cut through the pall of anger and opened my eyes to what I was doing. Making coffee is more than just pouring hot water over grounds, you see. It's about taking one's time to coax the flavor from the savory beans... A thesis is the same way. He taught me that my brain was like his coffee beans! Yes. Hoo. You've guessed it. That barista was none other than Brewster himself, wot! And that is how our long and deep-rooted friendship began! Hootie hoo!

Episode 5 (Next Saturday)

• Mmmmph...
  • (Player asks "What's wrong?") Well... To be quite honest, I was just revisiting my past a bit...
    • ("What part?") Yes. Hoo. I was thinking about Brewster, who owns the cafe downstairs. Well, when he lived in my hometown, he had a bit of a rough life, you see... Compared to this town, it was a gargantuan city, and you know bit-city life... Land was savagely expensive, and taxes astronomical... ...and dear Brewster was having a hard time making ends meet at the shop!

Episode 6 (Next Tuesday)

• Ooh hoo...
  • (Player asks "What's wrong?") Well... I was just mulling over how Brewster used to be, once upon a time. It's in the past, so I think it's fine for me to share that he had it rough.
    • ("Really?") Like Brewster himself, his shops have always been solely about the coffee... But traditional coffee cafes don't draw customers like they once did... And those in the city that try to attract hipsters have it even harder, wot! Because he was having a hard time filling the seats, he was financially pressed. At the time, he even considered closing up shop and turning in his apron...
      • ("Poor thing.") Poor thing, indeed! Hoo! When I got wind of dear Brewster's predicament... Why, I knew I had to do something! I promptly dashed off a letter... I offered him one of the museum's rooms, free of charge, of course... But only if he agreed to move to <town name>, start a new shop and a new life!
        • ("He agreed?") ...Indeed! You can see what he thought of the idea! And business is booming! Oh, you can't swing a net in the city without hitting the coffee shop nowadays... ...but in <town name>, it's still a bit of a rare treat, eh wot? I should say so! That pigeon loves coffee more than life itself, and he shares that love! Indeed, Brewster is what I would call a luminary of luscious lattes, wot!

Series 3

Episode 1 (2nd Thursday of July)

• Hooo...
  • (Player asks "What's wrong?") Ah. Hoo. I was just thinking about my hometown... Not that this old bird is homesick, mind you... But there are certain times when I yearn for the neon lights of the big city...
    • ("Really?") Hoo? What times, you ask? Well, it relates to my university years, you see... At the behest of my professor, I often stayed late in the laboratory... So, rather than a flat as I worked on my master's, I lived with my parents. Then I started working on my doctorate, of course... Yes, STARTED, hoo...
      • ("Didn't finish?") No, not as such... You see, one day, my professor approached me with an idea. He spoke of plans in the offing to build a museum in this town. They were having a most difficult time filling the curator position... 'Twas my understanding that no one from the main Farway Museum would move... And sadly, they were unable to fill the position with local talent... So, they asked the person heading up the project to find a good fit, wot! And that good fit was none other than yours truly! And so it went, hoo!
        • ("So that means...") Yes. Well, the timing was perfect... I'd just received my curator's license, and before I knew it, I was the newest resident of dear old <town name>! And the rest, as they say, is history, wot wot! Don't misunderstand, it's not as though I regret moving here! Not one jot! It's just that I can't help but get a wee bit nostalgic at times!

Episode 2 (Next Monday)

• Hrrrgh...
  • (Player asks "What's wrong?") Ah. Yes. Hoo. I was...merely reminiscing again...
    • ("Tell me!") I suppose I was still at university then. Indeed, I was on summer holiday. Yes. Hoo. As I recall, I was about to start my new part-time job. You see, there was a bit of a mold problem with the library's books, wot. So, it was my duty to lay them out on the windowsill to dry in the sunlight. Hoo! The horror of it all... 'Twas on that job that I made a grievous error...
      • ("What'd you do?") Hoo. Very well. There are various specialized books in the university library... ...not to mention the reference books that rarely get read, eh wot? These books tend to get eaten by book lice and the like, you see... Now, bear in mind, I loathe insects. I was holding a book by a page's corner, but the weight of the tome proved too portly for the poor page... RRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIP...... I looked up, aghast, and the librarians' eyes were on me! Such shame... Such shame... I must say, I rather think the episode served to... Well, I believe it exacerbated my fear of creepy-crawlies. Hoo...

Episode 3 (Next Thursday)

• Mrrrrgh...
  • (Player asks "What's wrong?") Hoo. To be quite honest... I was just mulling a bitter recollection from my past...
    • ("Tell me!") Hoo. Yes. Ah. Indeed. Well. It happened back when I was still at university... My professor asked me to do a spot of work for him. He wished me to proctor the college entrance examination, eh wot? Yes, in any case, it was my job to hand out the test forms... And to foil cheaters, of course. A crucial job, to be sure, but quite easy. Or so I thought until, during the examination, something awful happened...
      • ("What?!") Hoo. Yes. The exam had begun, and all the students were working away... But the room began to get rather warm and stuffy, don't you know, so... Thinking it a capital idea to let some air in, I opened a window a tad. Hoo, what a tragic error! A single fly flew into the exam room... Vile thing. Ugh. I couldn't peel my eyes off the wretched creature as it flew around the room! That suffocating room... I stood, nearly molting, grinding my beak... After an eternity, the bell rang, as scheduled, and the exam was over... But the constant beak grinding had given me a cramp in my face muscles...
        • ("Long story!!!") Hoo my! My apologies! I shan't bore you with my stories any longer... I don't know what's gotten into me... I don't think of myself as being prone to bouts of homesickness...

Series 5

Episode 1 (3rd Saturday of December)

• Bah...
  • (Player asks "What's wrong?") Between you and me, I quite detest them. All of them! The bugs, I mean...
    • ("Conquer fear!") Well. Hm. Hoo. Indeed. Easier said than done, of course. Fear is rather robust... Everyone has strengths and weaknesses, eh wot? ...But I do suppose you have a point, after all. I'm making excuses. After all, I am the curator of the <town name> museum! A noble office! Such dread is irrational! It's unprofessional! Who fears bugs, really? Well, to begin, I shall talk to my sister, Celeste, about this matter, wot? Oddly enough, she is rather comfortable touching them. Bugs, I mean... I've seen her gazing at butterflies before, completely relaxed.
      • ("They're cute!") They are most assuredly NOT cute!!! Have you gone quite mad?! Be truthful: have you ever looked really closely at a butterfly's belly? It appears quite squishy! It looks like it's waiting to spew something at you! Ugh! Vile...