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I have a slight obsession with quotes. So, I needed somewhere to compile them. And you got lucky enough to find it! </sarcasm> Anyways, if it is a lyric or was sung, a music note (♫) will be before and after the quote.

WARNING: Profanity is present in some quotes, along with other possibly sensitive subjects. You are warned.

"I'm actually more of a bitch than a whore." —Bubble Boy (2001)
"I was once thrown out of a mental hospital for depressing the other patients." —Oscar Levant
"Half of the modern drugs could well be thrown out the window, except that the birds might eat them." —Dr. Martin Henry Fischer
"Die, and come back..." —Percy Jackson and the Olympians: The Lightning Thief
"If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried." —Unknown
"I'm not crazy. Wait, thats what crazy people say!" —Unknown
"Trying is the first step towards failure." —Unknown
"Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the the universe." —Albert Einstein
"Come to the dark side. We have cookies!" —Unknown origin
"I reject your reality, and substitute my own." —Adam Savage
"Dobby doesn't kill people, he just maims them... or seriously injures them..." —Dobby (Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part 1)
"I can just imagine someone plastering that thread all over their room..." —Vulpes
"People think I went on vacation, but actually I spent all summer lost in the sewers." —Brittany S. Pierce (Glee)
"You have two cows. The government takes them and kills you." —Poster in Social Studies classroom
"I love California, I practically grew up in Phoenix." —Dan Quayle
"9/5 of people are math illiterate." —Poster in Math classroom
"I'm CEO, Bitch." —Mark Zuckerberg
"The first casualty of War is Truth." —Unknown
"When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down "happy". They told me I didn’t understand the assignment. I told them they didn’t understand life." —John Lennon
"Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable." —Woody Allen
"Half of the world is composed of idiots, the other half of people clever enough to take indecent advantage of them." —Walter Kerr
"Life is not lost by dying; life is lost minute by minute, day by draggin day, in all the thousand small uncaring ways." —Stephen Vincent Benet
"Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us." —Calvin (Calvin & Hobbs)
"It is not true that life is one damn thing after another…It’s one damn thing over and over." —Edna St. Vincent Millay
"The chief obstacle to the progress of the human race is the human race." —Don Marquis
"Science may have found a cure for most evils, but it has found no remedy for the worst of them all – the apathy of human beings." —Helen Keller
"Maybe this world is another planet’s hell." —Aldous Huxley
"♫Roll a flashing plant under a happy tree. Now it’s a dead tree.♫" —LITERAL Legend of Zelda Skyward Sword trailer
"DON'T JUDGE! Meh, I don't really care, judge me anyway." —Jason Crouse
"It is not enough to succeed. Others must fail." —Gore Vidal
"You can’t prove there isn’t a magic teapot floating around the dark side of the moon with a dwarf inside of it that reads romance novels and shoots lightening out of its boobs." —Kurt Hummel (Glee)
"I think God is kind of like Santa Claus for adults." —Kurt Hummel
"I don't need to sit around and listen to all you mental patients tell me there is a God when I know there really isn't." —Kurt Hummel
"[God] makes me gay and then makes His followers go around saying it's a choice, as if I'd choose to be mocked every day of my life." —Kurt Hummel
"Abstergo has some really fucked up interior decorators." —Desmond Miles (Assassin's Creed II)
"You have enemies? Good. That means you've stood up for something, sometime in your life." —Winston Churchill