Kapp'n's Song is a series of melodies performed by Kapp'n in Animal Crossing and Animal Crossing: New Leaf during boat rides to and from Animal Island and Tortimer Island, respectively. During these songs, Kapp'n sings about his life and family.
In Animal Crossing
Kapp'n's Song first appeared in Doubutsu no Mori+, with the introduction of Animal Island. The melody Kapp'n sings in this game is unique, and was changed for international releases of Animal Crossing. It would later reappear as a K.K. Slider song, "Marine Song 2001" (referencing Doubutsu no Mori+'s release date).
In Animal Crossing, the melody of Kapp'n's Song was changed to a more western-style sea shanty. This melody would become Kapp'n's leitmotif in future games. However, all songs use the same Animalese syllables despite the lyrics. In Doubutsu no Mori e+, the new melody is retained, but individual songs have their syllables changed to match the lyrics in Japanese. The old melody was introduced as "Marine Song 2001".
In the GameCube games, Kapp'n's songs have first and second verses that are randomly paired together. There are 10 first verses for male players and 10 for female players, and 10 second verses that are used regardless of the player's gender. However, in Animal Crossing only, the eighth possible second verse only does change depending on gender. Kapp'n also has 20 possible comments for each gender in between verses.
In Animal Crossing: Wild World
In Animal Crossing: Wild World, the melody of Kapp'n's Song from Animal Crossing is played on the radio in Kapp'n's taxi. "Marine Song 2001" is also briefly incorporated. The track is intentionally low-quality due to playing on the cab's radio, but the high quality version was featured on Animal Crossing Sound CD: Keke Choice! Mix as "Heavy Rotation - Hi-Fi Mix". Composer Kazumi Totaka explained in the accompanying magazine issue that the track was named so to keep Kapp'n's appearance as the taxi driver a surprise.
In Animal Crossing: City Folk
In Animal Crossing: City Folk, Kapp'n will whistle the same melody from Animal Crossing on the bus. He will also occasionally whistle part of "Marine Song 2001". After about seven minutes he will whistle "Totaka's Song".
In Animal Crossing: New Leaf
In Animal Crossing: New Leaf, Kapp'n once again will sing the player songs, on the boat ride to Tortimer Island. A new melody is introduced for the trip to the island, and the old one is used for the trip back. Kapp'n's songs are split into two verses which are randomly paired together. There are ten "A" and "B" verses each depending on whether he is ferrying a male player, a female player, or some multiple players (making for 120 songs total, 60 each way). Like in Doubutsu no Mori+ and Doubutsu no Mori e+, each song has its own syllables correspondingly sung. Kapp'n has 20 comments between verses for each gender in singleplayer, and if there is more than one player there are different possibilities depending on the number of individuals and combination of their genders, each with 10 or 11 comments.
In addition, Kapp'n will whistle the melody of the respective song when taking the player to Club Tortimer online. The song will continue indefinitely if the player has a bad internet connection. As such, the "Go" version of the song also incorporates "Marine Song 2001" after a while, and after about three to four minutes Kapp'n will whistle "Totaka's Song" followed by the normal song in a minor key before starting over.
In New Leaf only, the song can be skipped if the A button or touch screen are pressed repeatedly, although Kapp'n will express disappointment at this. Additionally, during multiplayer, the player can tell Kapp'n (or Leilani if they are heading home) that they do not want him to sing.
In the Super Smash Bros. series
In Animal Crossing
Oh, listen ye to
mine salty shanty
about the sweet lady
who once liked me.
She looked fair and fine with
her eyes upon mine.
Oh! Until she got ill:
seasick from brine.
This sweet young lass,
so full of spunk an' sass,
over tea, she tells me
I gots no class.
I ain't no crummy creep
who lives in trash heaps!
I'm just one old sea-hun
who needs some sleep.
Ye can't go wrong
with me cucumber song.
so green an' long!
They're the best ripe an' raw
or with some coleslaw.
Please get me two or three
that I can gnaw!
Here, take good note:
What moves old Kapp'n's boat
be an iced, extra-nice
Fetch one for me young lad
you won't be left sad!
Don't be slow or you know
I might get mad!
Ye think ye're bad?
Some kind of wrestlin' lad?
Ye've got guts, but ye're nuts.
Don't make me mad.
With me turtle-tough shell
I'll ring yer wee bell,
black yer eye, make ye cry,
and say farewell.
The wind, she blows,
and yer boat, well, she goes.
Whar's it end? That depends.
So do ye carp an' scream?
Or pursue yer dreams?
Either way, ye'll be swayed
by the wind's schemes.
I've heard me share
of uncanny affairs,
and I, too, pulled a few
pranks on a dare.
But I gots hopes an' dreams
of swamps and sweet streams.
Life at sea... Yar! It be
the life supreme.
Hey now, me boys,
with yer trinkets and toys...
Yar, I know Nintendo
gives ye yer joys.
But I ask this of ye:
Can games sing like me?
Mario can't croon, bro!
Don't ye agree?
A wrestlin' dog
a mean old tusslin' frog
an unsound, muscle-bound,
big boxin' hog...
They're just silly old clowns.
I'll take 'em all down!
For I be the best sea
Life on the sea suits
a pirate like me.
A footpad like you, lad,
ain't so lucky.
But on briny sea swells,
me heart, it beats well.
Through sea air, I'll float
where me soul compels.
Oh, listen ye to
mine secret shanty
about the mean lady
who once hurt me.
She took me old boat, and
she set her afloat,
just because curt I was
with the ol' goat.
Oh, sweet young lass, please
don't ye think me crass
just because smells I does
like a sea bass.
Life out on the sea ain't
no cakewalk you see!
There's no one but the sun
to comfort me.
Ye can't go wrong
with me cucumber song.
they make me strong!
They're the best ripe an' cold
long before they gets old.
They're so good no one could
let them grow mold!
Here, take good note:
What moves old Kapp'n's boat
be an iced, extra-nice
Honestly, though, dear mum!
It hurts me poor tum
to just eats cukes an' beets;
that ain't so yum!
It's quite a treat for
you to hear me bleat!
Charge I don't, pay you
won't. Aren't I so sweet?
But me heart does foretell
that me poor old shell
will not help this sea kelp
say his farewell.
Strong the wind blows,
and me boat, well, she goes.
But to where? I don't care!
That much I know.
Clear night skies and moon-
beams they fill up me dreams.
Like the time that sail o' mine
tore at the seams.
I must declare
lass please do not despair,
As you'll see, strong I be!
I'll get you there!
Now ol' Kapp'n I be.
I row your ferry.
In the past, on me mast
crossbones you'd see.
Oh! Dainty girls with
yer curves an' cute curls...
Yar! I bet me songs set
yer hearts awhirl!
I'm smooth an' oh-so fair,
an' quite debonair.
I'd combust if I just
had some more hair.
Me puppy dog
he likes to play leapfrog.
When we're done havin' fun
we drink eggnog...
We be silly old clowns
who just goof around!
Me an he pals we be.
I love that hound.
Life on the sea can
at times, lonely be, when
just whales an' wee snails
listen to me.
But on briny sea swells
me heart, it beats well.
Through sea air, I'll float
where me soul compels.
- I gets a feelin' about ye, me wee minnow...Yar! Ye looks like ye'll make a great wrestler someday!
- Yar, tell me somethin', me little buckaroo... Ye got yerself a girlfriend?
- Yar, say there, ye little wide-eyed sea-puppy... Ye been workin' out?
- Yar, say there, kid, maybe ye can tell me... What do ye think o' me hair? Would ye wear it like this?
- Yar, me little stinkpot... Do ye smell somethin' off?
- ...Yar, tell me somethin'... Do I look bloated to ye? Me shell be fittin' tight...
- Yar there, me little landlubbin' spikehead... Do ye know the difference between pasta an' noodles?
- Yar, I just love youngsters... They're so...gullible.
- Yar, I've got me a fine idea! Ye wanna arm-wrestle me? Right now, I mean to say?
- Yar, do ye know what turtles got on under their shells? Nothin'! Yar har har HAR!
- If ye wants to be happy fer the rest of yer days, ye'd do best to avoid strange women. ...Words to live by, swabbie.
- Yar, ye gots to help me! The scurvy's on me like a plague from the dark deeps! I need fruit! ARR! FRUIT!!
- Yar, say there, kid... Ye ever spend the night in a Hyrulian prison?
- Yar, cheer up, lad. Nice kid like yerself... ye oughtta be fightin' the ladies off with sticks!
- Ye know, I gots to admit... I likes a lady with a little meat on 'er bones, ye know what I'm sayin'?
- Ahoy there, Moby Dick! Ye wanna stop rockin' the boat? The sea's in me heart I don't want it in me pants!
- Yar, listen, kid... I needs to get somethin' off me chest. Now, don't take me wrong, but I really hate squirrels...
- Yar, ye wee boot-sniffer... A word o' advice for ye: always tell it like it is...
- Say there, laddie... Are ye close to yer father? I never knew mine, but I've heard tell he were mad...
- Hey there, me little grubber... Always keep yerself clean, if ye know what I mean.
- Yar, there, young miss... Ye'll be gorgeous someday, I know it! Yar, no foolin'! I gots an eye fer beauty!
- Yar, ye look a bit burly... Ye care to wrestle me?
- Yar, tell me this, miss... Are ye in love?
- Say there, young lassie... Ye can't swim, can ye? Neither can I, anymore...
- Yar, I'm just curious... Could a lass like yerself fall fer a turtle like me?
- Ye look a touch queasy... Do I scare ye, me wee lass?
- Yar, me little sea-beauty... Do ye know the difference between rouge an' blush?
- I love the wee youngsters... They're so...gullible.
- Hey now, ye great googly-eyed fish o' the black deeps! Stop starin' at me like that! I may just...melt.
- Tell me somethin', girly! Do ye know how to make a good four-star chili?
- Ye know, me young starfish, ye've grown into quite the pretty young lass lately. Have ye ever dated a turtle?
- Me dear ocean treasure, ye make a sea flower bloom in me heart.
- Yar, this be a little uncomfortable, but do ye have any friends that ye might set me up with?
- Hey lass, cheer up! A great beauty like yerself... ye oughtta be beatin' the lads away with sticks!
- Ye know somethin', lass? I... I never should've stopped shavin' me legs. Nar! That were a bad decision.
- Ahoy there, Moby Jane! Ye wanna stop rockin' the boat? The sea's in me heart; I don't want it in me pants!
- Hey now! Nar! NAR! No cryin'! I said, NO CRYIN'!
- Yar, lassie, do ye be OK? Ye don't be hurt, do ye? No, I'm not hurt, neither.
- Yar, I've had about all I can take o' this... Are ye ever gonna stop with yer cryin'?
- Yar, me fine lass, I was just curious about somethin'... Do ye have any sisters?
Me soul, onward it sails,
me belly, it ails.
I'm so glum, 'cause me tum
feels full of snails.
So full of snails...
Ahoy there, me old mum!
Yer son, he feels glum.
Without my lullaby,
sleep just won't come.
It just won't come...
A lone pebble slip-slides
beneath the cold tides.
Its movement is a hint
where love's truth hides.
There love's truth hides...
I'll sing me a fair rhyme
to pass away time.
Watch me words, like seabirds,
through the sky climb.
Upward they climb...
Be ye brave, me wee fish!
Don't squeal out or squish!
Don't deter search fer yer
heart's fondest wish.
Find yer heart's wish...
Listen: Come cold or warm,
I fear no dark storm.
See, I gauge life's a stage
where I perform.
Yar! I perform...
While I do love me cukes,
they sure curl me flukes,
but now, please! Zucchinis
give me the spooks.
Ask yerself this, me boy:
what brings yer heart joy?
As fer me, well, the sea
is me own toy!
I loves that toy!
The world's awful lonely,
it do seem to me,
but ye still always will
me good friend be.
Me friend ye'll be...
Me heart feels savage pangs
from love's wicked fangs.
I think oft of the soft
song that she sang.
That song she sang...
I feel such low-down shame,
me lovely dear dame...
I'm a ratーI laughed at
yer mum's weird name.
What a weird name...
In New Leaf
Big 'rassler. That's what I'd like to be.
But you know I loves me lady, the sea.
I'm not big, but I be strong, and I gots a will likes the wind.
So I says 't won't be long till I'm in the ring with all me friends!
Me lesson's learned. Always be nice to the girls.
'Cause if yer not nice to girls, girls will not be nice to you!
So don't you pull any hair. Don't you toss 'e many bugs.
Hold them doors! Hold them ha-nds! Be-e charming if you want them hugs!
When I was young, I wanted all the girls to love me
just for me and not me good looks.
I've a nice face, it be true, chiseled abs, and fancy hair.
But I'm smart! I gots heart! I gots feelings! I gots lots to share!
Hey, mister bug, don't you-ou get me wrong.
I won't be squishin' you. 'Least not in this song.
I'm only followin' you, bug, 'cause my house is down this street.
I won't stomp. I won't squish. Long as you stay away from me feet!
I wants to sail 'round the whole world with you,
have some adventures, too, but me wife has other plans.
If I could shrink this ol' world, puts it in me ba-ack yard,
we could sail seven seas in 10 minutes! The world would be ours!
Oh, summertime, you're so summery.
You makes me toes so hot. I ne-ed some tea!
So gimme so-ome tea with a nice twist o-o' lime.
I won't drink it! Can't think it! No, this tea I'm pourin' on me feet!
Oh, cucumber, you're not a pewcumber.
I love you so-o much. You are me best friend.
Though you're a bit tho-orny, we can still geta-along.
Let's not fight! Take a bite! So-o tasty! Love you to the end!
When I was young, I'd call me sweetie to talk,
but if her dad picked up the phone, I'd hang up.
Sometimes her dad's kinda mean. Even now I'm scared o' him.
But I asked for his girl's hand, so I guess he thinks I'm man enough!
I met me wife sailin' the seven seas.
She made me weak in the knees. I knew it was love.
Sometimes love smacks you in the face, don't always play it fair.
Makes you so sick. So-o ick! Puts you on the plank and gives a shove!
Oh, castaways! I've known some castaways.
Offered to help 'em out, but they said they was fine.
Once you get used to that life, there just ain't no goin' back.
It's just fun in the sun. Guess it really does seem quite divine!
The frog croaks out songs that don't make any sense.
He's an old frog, so he can't hit any high notes.
Ain't a frog that I be. Fortune smiles upon me.
But I'll sing the frog's song, and if you can, you should sing along.
Me boat's like a steed, a steed from a story-book.
Once you give her a look, you'll see what I mean.
She's a proud girl, and she runs hard to get you on yer way.
She be humble, but she'll rumble. Aye, a-storm she's a fearsome sight to be seen!
In tug-o'-war, the guys're showin' off.
They want the girls to see how big their biceps can get.
Watch 'em next time, and you'll see they don't even care who wins.
They'll just flex all their pecs. They forget it's a contest, I bet!
Once had me a ship made o' cucumber.
But then me cre-ew number could only be one.
'Cause when ya chew on yer ship, swabbies say you're kinda strange.
They think you'll all sink, when yer hunger makes yer ship come undone!
Stayin' young's about havin' a mischievous smile.
You won't grow old for a while with agleam in yer eye.
Take me old man, fer instance. He's a wily, ornery coot.
Laughs all day, and in a way, his ol' soul will prob'ly never die!
Me surfin' days, they be behind me now.
And I'll tells ya how it ain't 'bout me toes.
When a big wave hits ya hard, knocks ya offa yer board,
well I flailed! And I wailed! Oh, I still gots water up me nose!
I wrote so hard. I stayed up all night long
to write me girl a song, and it turned out great!
I poured me heart on the page, and I rented me a stage.
But her dad was so mad, said, "Ain't no way she'll stay out past eight!"
Sometimes I kiss me own reflection
in me window, and sometimes me neighbors walk by!
I'm just practicin' kissin'. It's all fer me sweetie pie.
But those stares! Oh, those glares! Neighbors must think I'm such a weird guy!
Me wife says she don't like me goin' to sea.
She says that she misses me, but I ain't so sure!
When I comes home from me trips, she's eat en all o' me chips.
All me cakes and snack packs! Guess me junk food is really just fer her?
I can't keep track of all me licenses, man!
Seems like the government can charge me all day long!
First there's me boat, then me car, then me business license, too.
It's not fair! I don't care! An' I won't pay, if they tax this song!
Some folks ask me how to avoid seasickness.
I tells 'em it's just like this: you gotta have an iron gut.
Do yer crunches. Work yer abs. Do some sidesteps like them crabs.
When ya feel abs o' steel, no more queasy! You'll stay off yer butt!
Yer family has to have all kinds o' folks,
some who tell weird little jokes. (I'm talkin' 'bout Dad.)
Dad jokes be strange. It be true. Dad jokes rarely make ya laugh.
But Dad thinks he don't stink. He just don't know. His jokes be so bad!
I'll do anything to be a popular guy.
But please don't ask me why I want a flowery shirt.
OK, I'll tells ya the deal: when I gets behind the wheel,
shirt like that be so rad. I'd be so cool— so cool it would hurt!
Me new hairstyle, it's really easy ta fix.
A pair o' chopsticks, that's what I use for a comb.
I'd like a perm or an afro, a mohawk or odango.
But I got just one lock, so's I usually just shine up me dome!
I done me best to chart this great big ol' world.
Sometimes I feel like I hurled me self in too deep.
So I turned o'er a new leaf. No more mappin' ev'ry reef.
Dock to dock, that's how I rock. I can finally gets a good night's sleep!
I ran a ground on a deserted isle
took me a swim to waste some sweet time.
As me wet shell hung to dry (see, I'm a prudish guy),
on me butt hung a coconut. Shell fit just fine. Much better than mine!
Me wife came in from a rainstorm one day.
I said that her hair looked just like spaghetti.
What I meant was it looked good. I don't think she understood.
And the storm that took form inside the house nearly destroyed me!
Ya best be sure, sneakin' up on a friend,
it really be yer friend, not some random schmoe.
Once I made the mistake o' not lookin' 'fore I leaped.
I confess, 'twas a mess! From behind she looked like me pal Joe!
Her beauty's like sunset at ocean's end,
and she's still my best friend, me wife, Leilani.
As fine as she be, she's got moods just like the sea.
Storms for days, then sun's rays. How I love her! She's the one fer me!
Well, life be like crossin' the ocean wide.
We're all on this ride. Together we sail!
Get ta know yer mates. Look out fer each other's fates.
Do yer best! Love the quest. Life's a journey! It ain't pass or fail!
- Are you... using hair conditioner?
- Soccer's cool. But ya ever thought about sumo rasslin'?
- ...ye take care o' all yer chores now. Understand?
- Just 'tween us guys...me wife don't' preciate me comin' home smellin' o' boat fuel.
- Believe it or not, back in the day, I used ta be lean and mean...
- Me sweetie's tryin' ta get me ta talk in a less... salty way. But it be seemin' uncaptainly ta me!
- When someone tells me daughter she looks like her dad, she starts cryin' fer some reason...
- Me daughter keeps bringin' me seaweed sculpture... I don't get it.
- Just 'tween us guys... Recently I've been worried 'bout me last few hairs fallin' out.
- How's your mom doin'? Ye take care o' her now, ya hear?
- I bet ye'll make one amazin' sumo rassler if ye put yer mind to it!
- Yar! How much weight can ye lift?
- Ye looks like ye got upper-arm strength. Ye oughta challenge me to an arm-rasslin' match!
- ...Garrr. May need to batten down the hatches on the ol' poop deck.
- Word to the wise: it be takin' more than mere kindness ta be a man.
- Do... Do ye smell somethin' funny?
- A true man o' the sea be havin' strong legs and a firm core!
- Hey! Don't rock me boat!
- So... Do ye be havin' yer eye on anyone special? Ye can tell yer captain anything!
- Halfway thar! Hope ye be ready ta disembark!
- Don't be getting the wrong idea, lassie. I be a married Kapp'n now...
- Yar! I just noticed... You have real purty eyelashes, <player's name>!
- Yer lucky to have so much hair...
- Don't tells no one... But the plate on me head? It's a bit cracked!
- If ya needs anything... Just ask ol' Kapp'n.
- If I was yer father, I'd be worried about how pretty you are!
- Are you a mum? Do ye wanna be a mum someday? Mums are great...
- I tells me daughter I've always got her back... but I think she's got mine!
- Ah, papas and their daughters. 'Tis a...special relationship...
- Listen to 'ol Kapp'n. Take good care o' yer mum and pop!
- Ah, the wind feels good today! Makes me wish I had a sail...
- So I bet yer the belle o' the town. I knows cute when I sees it!
- I don't know what kinda shampoo ye be usin', but it makes ya smell like an angel!
- ... Your hair... It be indescribably beautiful! Har har!
- I can tell by lookin'... Yer the darin' sort, ain't ya?
- Are ye the shy type, lassie? Yer not sayin' much.
- Don't be nervous, <player's name>! I've sailed these seas a thousand times!
- Har har! I just noticed how cute you are!
- Thar be no charms like a woman's charms. Use 'em wisely!
- Traveling alone, eh? Yar, that's the life. Free as a seabird!
Multiplayer (all males)
- Heh heh. We got a good crew here. Oughta play some ball sometime!
- Gar! Don't even be thinkin' 'bout divin' in fer a swim! These waters be a bit...sharky.
- Feels a wee bit crowded... Can ye give me a bit more room?
- You boys known each other long? Lifelong pals, are ye? Best buds?
- Nothin' like the friendship 'tween good mates, eh?
- You men seem stuck together like the barnacles on me hull!
- Wonder who'd win in an eatin' contest. <player's name> or <player's name>? Me money be on... Well, never mind.
- You gettin' hungry thar, <player's name>? I'll have me sweetie pep ye up with 'er cod casserole!
- Yer pretty buff thar, <player's name>!
- We oughta have a guys' night out one o' these days!
- One time, I... Oh, uh... We seem ta have caught a bit o' a tailwind...
Multiplayer (all females)
- Sorry, gals... Kapp'n be happily married!
- I be a bit sad today... Me favorite starfish be missin'. Perhaps I'll put up some posters at the dock?
- Gar! Didn't know I'd be havin' the honor o' ferryin' Miss today, <player's name>! Where's me tie?
- Me? If there's cucumber on me plate... I eats it last! Yum!
- Ridin' with you... makes me realize what bein' popular must be like!
- Anyone else in the mood fer a large herring milkshake? Extra fish eyes?
- Har har har! I be blushin'. Must be ye gals're gonna yap about me later!
- Wait... Are you gals pop stars? Ye looks like pop stars!
- Heh heh. So this be what a gals' adventure out looks like?
- 'Tis nice, ain't it...fer gals to find true friendship with each other?
Multiplayer (one male, two/three females)
- Yer quite the ladies' man, ain't ye, <player's name>? I envies ya!
- Well, aren't ye the smooth operator, <player's name>!
- Gar! Some guys have all the luck, eh, <player's name>?
- Heh heh heh. Pretty popular with the ladies, eh, <player's name>?
- Ye got yer mojo workin' today, eh, <player's name>? Good luck, me matey!
- This be whar ye belong,—boatin' with pretty girls!
- Don't miss yer chance ta chat with everyone, <player's name>. This be a short ride!
- <player's name>! If a storm rolls up... just try to act brave!
- On the count o' three, <player's name>, stand up and flex! One...two... Wait! Lemme sing a bit more first...
- ... If this were a sailboat, we'd have no lack o' wind, eh, <player's name>?
Multiplayer (two/three males, one female)
- Heh, heh. Looks like yer the belle o' the ball, <player's name>!
- You likes me singin', right, <player's name>? Course ya do!
- You're a live one, <player's name>! Watch out fer knuckleheads!
- Thinkin' 'bout takin' me honeyed voice on the road... You play guitar, <player's name>?
- If we start a band... <player's name>, you'd be the backup vocals, OK?
- So, <player's name> ...what do ye think about <player's name>? Pretty nice, eh?
- Don't worry 'bout the wind an' the waves, <player's name>! I be here fer ye!
- So, ...got yer eye on anyone here?
- Looks like the guys just can't help followin' ye around, <player's name>!
- ... Gar! Must be some... air in the ol' fuel lines! Right, <player's name>?
Multiplayer (one male, one female)
- You guys... on yer honeymoon?
- You two... friends?
- Heh, heh, heh. Don't tell me... You two are eloping.
- I'll try to keep the boat steady for you two.
- <player's name>! Look out fer. Don't let no one mess with <'im/'er>!
- Heh, heh... Maybe it would be better if I weren't here? I feels like a third wheel!
- Hope ye likes me singin' voice. It be the only one I got!
- I can hop overboard if ye likes—give ye a li'l privacy...
- Seems like there's more to ye two than meets the eye...
- You two... Gar! Um... 'Twasn't me! 'Twas the barnacles on me boat! They be extra squeaky today!
Multiplayer (two males, two females)
- What be goin' on? Is this somekind o' mixer?
- Relationships be tricky. Ye kids... Ye kids be careful!
- Yar har! This be some kind o' fancy playdate, eh? Ye kids have fun!
- I got a million songs. Keep ridin' with me if ye fancy hearin' 'em all.
- Me boat be full! <player's name>, yer gonna hafta bail out... Yar har! I be kiddin'! Just kiddin'! Don't jump!
- Seems like ... <player's name> be a bit interested in <player's name>. Be I right?
- Ye be taxin' me patience! Just comeout and admit ye likes <player's name>!
- Hmmm... Sittin' awfully close ta... Har! I sees how it is!
- <player's name> and <player's name> seem ta be in a good moods. Wonder what be goin' on thar?
- ...Sorry. We seems ta have an abundance o' wind t'day.
This world spins 'round, but I be here to stay.
And I gots dreams I'll follow some fine day.
You listen well. Kapp'n don't tell no lies.
Kapp'n loves ya! On him you can relies!
Me melancholy flares up, and then I sighs.
I can't denies, me first love is the sea.
Oh, silently, stealthily, secretly,
I toots much more, more than just me horn!
When guys hang out, thar be no end o' fun.
I've got your back, and you're my number one!
Sometimes good things find you when you're most blue.
They could be standing right behi-ind you!
A piece o' advice: don't play with sti-ink bugs,
'specially when ya got a date comin' up!
Me wife's me life, at least when I'm on land.
At sea there's me boat, on the other hand!
Yo-ho, me eyes! Don't stare at cool new boats.
Yours is fine. Just blink, and look skywise!
Do sunflow-ers need lots of sun to grow?
I guess maybe that's just a superstition.
Remember whene'er you hear this song,
life is a trip full of discovery!
Sometimes your heart tells you when you're in love.
Your tummy too. Both can sure make you sick.
Don't cry about dreams that don't come true today.
Sometimes ya needs ta try another way!
I fell in love with a girl who changed me life.
Made her me wife, and I'm still sweet on her.
One day I'll build a house with me own hands,
and we'll just see if it falls o-or stands!
I wrote a name in the sand near the sea.
She's me best girl. Her name is Leilani.
One time I cried till no more tears would flow.
When your heart's broke, that's just how you're gonna know!
Me wife's the best cook that you'll ever know.
When she makes stew, it's really quite a show!
When I comes home, I likes to watch TV,
have me some time, some time that's just fer me.
Oh, this ain't good-bye. I will see you again.
That's how it goes whene'er yer my friend.
Oh, don't mind me if I tend to sing off-key.
These motor fumes make me a bit dizzy!
Ain't got no map. Ain't got no place to go.
Ain't got no cares. If I have to, I'll row.
The best time to eat cucumber roll
is when you have one right in front of you!
One time me wife had spinach in her teeth,
but we still smooched. That's par when yer in love.
I miss me Grams. She used to sing to me,
but then she moved so far away across the sea!
Oh, summertime is good for these boat rides.
Just leave your fate to me and to the tides!
In summer school we never got to sail.
I guess that's why kids do their best not to fail!
Whene'er I'm sad, that's when me wife'll say,
"The sun will rise and warm you today!"
We're almost there! We'll get ya to the isle!
Won't be long! It's just a little while!
Good team right here. We should play ball sometime.
Just let me know. It will be so sublime!
I love me li'l girl, she's me pride an' joy.
Can ye guess her first word? It was "ahoy!"
She's grown to love the sea. Oh, she is just like me!
Ties the knots at the docks, makes me so happy!
Ev'ry guy dreams 'bout girls fightin' o'er him.
But if ye think about it, chances are slim.
Girls stick together. They don't likes ta fight.
Not a good dream, ye guys. Really not bright.
I asked fer me wife's hand at sea. (She said yes.)
Since then not a day goes by I don't feel blessed.
Said, "I needs ta raise me ol' crew number."
Told her she was me li'l cucumber.
Hair in a rainstorm, it looks mighty sweet.
Hair in a windstorm isn't so neat.
Rain-slick wet hair is so cool, it just can't be beat.
Messy windblown hair, that's not such a treat.
I showed up fer tryouts in me best sports gear.
Played like I was in a trance I showed no fear!
But when I opened me eyes, I was so surprised!
I'd made the girls' team, and there weren't any guys!
I can't eat cucumbers without me good mayo.
There's no point without it. Just no way-oh!
Me mum's top-secret recipe, oh, it's the best!
We should start a mayo biz, and you should invest!
Sunlight and moonlight can be rough on the eyes,
but I'll still take 'em o'er yer cloudy skies.
Cloudy skies mean storms, and storms cancel dinner.
I guess ye could say that storms make ye thinner!
Me wife wears perfume. She smells just like roses.
The way to men's hearts is through their noses.
It's not through their tummies, just 'cause some folks say.
A sweet-smelling aroma, I know that's the way!
Used to sail all year long. Can't do that no more.
Me single days be done. I've put to shore.
When yer a fam'ly man, yer fam'ly must come first.
Still get to boat at work. I could do worse!
Don't have much hair to comb, nothing to style.
If I had one lock, it'd be wild!
I'd tease it so high, you would not see the end.
I'd want to let kids climb it, but it might bend!
I said good-bye to me free wheeling past
and hello to me girl, me wee little lass.
When she was very small, well, she was so cute.
She favors her mother. She's a real beaut!
When I met me wife, she weren't very impressed.
I guess she didn't like the way that I dressed!
Sailor's hat along with them big ol' bell-bottoms
guess ya shouldn't wear some clothes just 'cause ya got 'em!
'Member yer manners. Ye say "please" and "thank ye."
If ye don't, Mum will cry into her hankie!
Mum spent so many years raisin' you right.
So get yer manners down, and she'll sleep at night!
I baked a big cake for me daughter's birthday.
But she took one taste, and she ran away!
It's like I told me wife: it can't be all my fault
some genius made sugar look 'zactly like salt!
I went ta see me doc. He's kind of a stern bloke.
I said, "Doc, ye gotta help! Me butt be broke!"
Doc did not smile one bit, not even a little,
not when I said, "There's a crack down-a middle!"
Me mum thinks that makeup be kinda like armor.
Thinks wearin' tons means that no one can harm her!
She cakes it on thick in five or six layers.
Looks like facepaint on them football players!
When I needs energy, I drinks cold, dark joe,
an' lo an' behold, right away, it gets me goin'.
Gets me heart pumpin' fast and makes me dizzy.
But then I got no excuse to not be busy!
Me grandma lives in the house where I grew up.
She used to read to me when I was a pup.
She did voices. She made 'em real funny!
She made reading lots of fun, made each day sunny!
Sea monsters be misunderstood, and it's sad.
Known me some sea monsters, and they ain't so bad!
Sure, they may seem real fierce, all tentacles and teeth.
Most of 'em got soft hearts. They be real sweet!
Wish I could shrink a boat down and go sailin',
go sailin' in me ol' washin' machine.
Survivin' spin cycle with all them tube socks
would make me the best sailor the world's ever seen!
Thar be some things that ev'ry dad should just know,
things that make yer girl yer pal, yer boy yer bro.
I'm talkin' 'bout stuff like the pull-me-finger trick,
stuff that helps 'em not grow up too quick.
Now that I'm a dad, I thinks about dad things.
I wonder if me girl likes when I sings.
She always chuckles, and then she rolls her eyes.
I guess that's good. Don't want her to date singer guys.
When business be slow, I toss soap in the water,
takes an ice-cold bath right there (wish it were hotter!)
Sudsy! Scrubsy! Loofah! Then shampoo squirts!
Me wife's plan to clean 'er man—even if it hurts!
It goes "Red sky at night, sailors take delight."
'Tis a verse most old salts hold ta be true.
But me, I be diff'rent. I gots me own truth.
When it comes ta sky hue, I prefers it blue!
A captain's only as good as his crew.
With a crew like mine there's so much we can do!
Me mum runs the galley. Me wife be me first mate.
Me girl be the admiral, makes me ship great!
Once got lost out at sea, could not find me way in.
Kapp'n, he were scared! Kapp'n, unprepared! Future looked grim!
Me daughter saved the day, brushed her teeth so clean.
She stood ashore! She smiled so big! Followed me the gleam!
When I were a hatchling and things didn't go well,
I could hide there inside, inside me shell.
Now I be grow'd up. Me shell's kinda smallish.
Don't fit me, and it be needin' a polish.
Sail with me! We'll have the time o' our lives!
It be true! Me and you! Start the high fives!
We'll go far! Ain't no car can outdo us this time!
Ev'ryone knows, ship like this goes well past this rhyme!
Kapp'n be like a barber ye tells yer woes to.
Good listener like that, ev'ryone goes to!
I may not cut yer hair, but I'll hear ye out
—soon as I be done singin', ye wee sea trout!
Saw me a kraken fightin' a big sea snake.
(Might have just been some seaweed couldn't see well.)
I knows what ye be thinkin': "Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah."
But I swear it be true! (Far as I can tell.)
- You look mighty strong, <player's name>!
- Don't worry, <player's name>! Whatever ya wanna do, ya can do it!
- We'll always have adventurous spirits. It be in our blood!
- Little advice, man ta man girls seem to find roguish types like me quite attractive.
- Ya must've heard that even the prettiest rose can be thorny. I leave you to decide what that means...
- Heh heh. Take it from me we men know a lot less than we think we do about women.
- Ever dreamed ya were dreamin' ya were dreamin'? That be strange!
- When me daughter was a babe, it took five minutes ta bathe her. Now she be in the bathroom all day!
- Ever tried pickled eggplant? It ain't too bad.
- Cold swimmin' hole? Best to dive in and get it over with, <player's name>!
- Ya look like ya could be one 'o them pro wresters, <player's name>!
- When it comes ta love, ya gotta be patient and wait for the right person, <player's name>!
- Alrighty! That is some fine hairdo! Try ta wear it like that more often!
- When ya search fer yerself...ya can't just search. Ya gotta find, too!
- Ever camped out under the stars? Nothin' like it!
- Have as much fun as ya can now. Ya ain't gettin' no younger!
- You...look exactly like me when I was younger!
- I hope ya been workin' out. If this motor goes, yer gonna be rowin' us back ta shore, <player's name>!
- You play baseball? Ya got good baseball arms.
- Me daughter's the apple o' me eye. She teaches this ol' salt new things all the time!
- Luck is on me side, <player's name>!
- Hmmm... It's a bit strange fer me to go such a long time without utterin' somethin' hilarious...
- Take it from yer captain...it's OK to cry, <player's name>!
- Ya gotta respect yerself, <player's name>! Yer wonderful!
- Ye'll have to fergive me if me words be as rough as the sea. Ye can't teach an old sea dog new tricks!
- Here's an idea I been workin' onshampoo and conditioner in one!
- So, ... Ever been in love?
- Just want ye to know I'll always be here fer ye!
- I still like it when me mum helps me pick out new clothes. The ol' gal's got good taste!
- I can tell just from standin' here. Ye got lots o' charm!
- Is that hairstyle popular these days?
- Take it from me try to get along with yer mum!
- This might sound strange, but...ye look like one o' them movie stars!
- Word to the wise, <player's name> don't push yerself too hard, OK?
- I don't know why...but the sea seems sweeter when ye be on it!
- Ya ever just feel like cryin'? Me too!
- I'm not lookin' forward to sayin' good-bye to ye!
- Heh heh. Ye got a real style o' yer own, don't ye!
- Sorry to be blunt...but could ye stop starin' at me like that?
- So...are ye romantically involved with anyone?
Multiplayer (all males)
- <player's name> and <player's name>, you two look like you could be brothers!
- Comfy underwear is important to us men. <player's name> looks comfy. <player's name> doesn't.
- <player's name> ... looks like me when I was younger!
- So many men today! Where are all the ladies?
- Nice, isn't it? A friendship between two men...
- Just so you know...there's no rasslin' on the boat!
- I'm sure you boys're nice, but me daughter's too young for datin'!
- I like the hairdos, guys!
- Next time you guys go campin', try some peanut butter on yer s'mores!
- You guys should have as much fun as ya can now. 'Cause ya ain't gettin' any younger!
- Listen up, guys! Girls are like... Oops! 'Scuse me! Seem to be havin' trouble with the ol' bilge pump...
Multiplayer (all females)
- <player's name>... I like yer name!
- You like almonds on yer salads, don't ya, <player's name>? I can tell!
- Yar! I don't know where it's comin' from...but one o' you landlubbin' ladies smells real nice!
- Tee hee hee... Girl talk be so amusin'!
- Ladies, when ya close yer eyes tonight... dream o' yer captain and how he'll always be here for ya...
- I loves me cucumbers... But don't go callin' me no herbivore!
- You ladies...seem like gentle types!
- Hmmm... Gettin' a bit of a tomboy vibe from you ladies! I likes it!
- I am such a happy guy, bein' near such beautiful ladies. It's good for me ol' ticker!
- Now listen, ladies. I know it might break yer hearts, but I'm married. And I got me a wee child too!
Multiplayer (one male, two/three females)
- <player's name>...never embarrass a girl in front of everyone, OK?
- Aye, the sea can be rough if yer not used to it, <player's name>. You oughta ride with me more often!
- If ye get any scurvy seawater in yer mouth...just spit it out, <player's name>!
- Do you like the blues? I likes the blues! Yaaaarrrr! Need me a radio!
- <player's name>, ya looks like the type o' seadog the girls be fightin' over. Am I right?
- <player's name>, a father's most important job is protectin' his kids from all the scurvy dogs out thar!
- Ya gotta take yer life by the wheel, <player's name>! Steers it where ya wants it ta go!
- Now, I knows the water be temptin', <player's name>. But don'tcha go jumpin' in! I gots no life preservers!
- Bein' surrounded by pretty girls can really make a seadog nervous! Ain't that right, <player's name>?
- Ah, how I envies ya, ... Yer so full'a life! So many sailin' days ahead o' ya!
- ... Gar! Did ya hear that, <player's name>? Kinda high-pitched for a foghorn now, weren't it? Har har har!
Multiplayer (two/three males, one female)
- I bet guys fight over ya all the time, right, <player's name>?
- Saltwater taffy's a mystery ta me, <player's name>. Don't taste like salt nor water!
- Don't worry, <player's name>. I'll getcha back to the mainland safe an' sound.
- We oughta form a sea-shanty band! <player's name> here can be our singer!
- How's it feel ta be the only lass here, <player's name>?
- So...everyone's love lives? Good, yar? Romance at sea can't be beat!
- Let's film a seagoin' epic! Leadin' lass? <player's name>! And <player's name> is the hero. Or maybe <player's name>?
- Har har har! Feels like <player's name> is a queen and you boys are her servants!
- Oh, I can see it now! <player's name> and <player's name> fightin' over <player's name>! Seems likely!
- ...Gar! It weren't me, <player's name>! I swears! Must be a school o' tootfish passin' 'neath the boat!
Multiplayer (one male, one female)
- Yar... It's good to be young! Ya wee minnows ought ta stay that way!
- <player's name>, make sure ya takes good care of ol' <player's name>. <He/She> be needin' some lookin' after...
- Occurs ta me that <player's name> would surely make a great wife!
- Now listen, ye wee seasnails... Be kind to each otharrrr!
- <player's name>, be a good pirate and look after <player's name>, yar?
- Anyone else want ta steer?? Har har har! I be such a kidder! I do all the steerin' here!
- Didja know? As yer captain, I can marries ya off ta each other! Any takers?
- You seaslugs...look real nice together! Good group, good group.
- If the waves be makin' ya sick...please aim yer gob over the side o' the boat!
- Ya wee sea urchins... Ya look like lovebirds! Does me ol' ticker good!
- Got time for a tale o' the... Gar! Seems a squall be brewin' in me southern hemisphere!
Multiplayer (two males, two females)
- Har har har! What be this? Some kind o' nautical double date?
- So... We gots a pair o' love birds here, do we? Yer captain can tell!
- Har har! Looks like yer havin' a merry ol' time thar, <player's name>!
- So. . Have ya decided which of these lasses yer sweet on?
- Har har! Ol' Kapp'n feels like a fifth wheel now! No smoochin' on board!
- Har har! <player's name> and <player's name> seem to be in good moods! Must be the sea air!
- So yer couple o' couples, eh? Is that love in the air? Or is it the briny smell o' seaweed I detects?
- Avast, <player's name>! I'm considerin' holdin' ya in me brig till ya say somethin' nice about <player's name>!
- Well... From the looks o' things, ya oughta be datin' each other if yer not already doin' so!
- All right. <player's name>? <player's name>? You kids hear that migratin' honkbill what just passed by? Yarrr...
Wouldn't it be so cool if we could throw stress out?
Throw it out with the trash! That'd be cool, no doubt.
That'd be cool, no doubt.
It's nice that folks care 'bout this big ol' sea.
But sea captains need love too. So what about me?
So what about me?
I seen so many sunrises and sunsets.
I enjoy 'em no matter how busy life gets.
How busy life gets!
Don't matter much if ya don't got hair to comb.
The thing that matters most is what's under your dome.
What's under your dome?
If we hit a big rock, I'll be just fine
'cause I got a life raft in this shell o' mine,
in this shell o'mine!
All day long it's "Ahoy, ahoy, ahoy!"
If I weren't doin' this, I'd be a cowboy.
I'd be a cowboy!
Ya should never get upset even if yer dumped.
Kapp'n's always here fer ya. That should keep ya pumped.
That should keep ya pumped!
Cucumbers taste so great, make ya feel sassy.
Here's a little known fact, though: they makes ya gassy.
They makes ya gassy!
I gots ta be careful what I sings about now.
As a dad there's some stuff I can't allow,
I can't allow.
Catch the rest o' yer dream fallin' back asleep.
I love when that happens. It be so deep!
It be so deep!
When I'm away from me sweet little baby girl,
I see her sweet face. She's a real pearl.
She's a real pearl.
When the sun sets on the last day o' summer,
I feel blue, so so blue. It's a bummer.
It's a real bummer!
When me motor's purrin' it don't likes ta quit.
Sometimes ta turn it off, I sneaks up on it.
I sneaks up on it.
If ye make supper once, the chore's yers forever!
Least, that's what me wife tells me. She's so very clever.
She's so very clever.
There's no point actin' tough, no point actin' bold.
Standing shirtless in the rain just gives yea cold.
Just gives ye a cold!
When yer in love, sometimes ya miss some simple cues.
When I first took me wife out, I forgot shoes!
I forgot shoes!
Don't dream of eatin' stuff yer really 'lergic to,
'cause ye might get a rash. Then ye'd be blue.
(Or another hue.)
I may be a turtle, but me shell's not me house.
Can't live in yer back with a child and spouse,
a child and spouse.
Sad songs can make ye cry, but ye should do this:
try laughin' at sad songs, the key ta bliss,
the key ta bliss!
It's just like me grandturtle said, "If ya can't sing good,
sing loud, 'cause then ya won't be misunderstood,
I giggles when I lectures me girl, it's true.
But her cute little face would make you giggle, too,
make you giggle, too!
Mizzenmast! Scallywags! Poop deck and keelhaul!
Those be some nautical terms fer ye all!
Fer ye all!
Weird's the norm in school, but nothin' brings more doom
than a guy stumblin' into the girls' locker room.
The girls' locker room!
If yer speech be too raw, yer girl's face will flush.
Nothin' sets me straight like me wife's blush,
like me wife's blush.
I sleeps much better when me fam'ly's all home.
Havin' 'em near gives me peace in me big dome,
in me big dome.
Summer's fer swimmin'. The water ain't too cold.
But taking dips in winter? I ain't that bold!
I ain't that bold!
Sometimes men do blubber. Take it from me—I know!
How I cried just last night. (Sad TV show!
Sad TV show!)
Funny how the sun rises no matter what.
What if a director shouted "Cut!"
Circle wipe, circle wipe, wonder where ye are.
Ye can't be far away. Yer comin' up! Yar!
Yer comin' up! Yar!
This be the first song I learned. I know it's odd.
First song's 'bout a first song? Hey! Look at that cod!
Hey! Look at that cod!